People.com has this absolutely ridiculous story up about how Kristen Stewart got Robert Pattinson hired as her Twilight co-star, and it makes me want to vomit and shower and then vomit in the shower and then bathe myself in bleach and move to back to Massachusetts where I can be as far from this industry shit as possible.
Ready? This is how Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke says it went down:
Stewart met Pattinson in Hardwicke’s kitchen in Malibu, Calif. After they kissed for the first time in the audition (on the director’s bed!), Stewart helped Pattinson get the job.
“Kristen was like, ‘It’s got to be Rob!’ ” Hardwicke recalls.
But the director made Pattinson make a promise first: “You’ve got to realize that Kristen is 17 years old,” she told the actor, who is four years older than his costar. “She’s underage. You’ve got to focus, dude, or you’re going to be arrested. I made him swear on a stack of Bibles.”
Why is the fact that their first kiss was on the Twilight director’s BED treated like an aside, while there is an entire paragraph devoted to Hardwicke explaining that Kristen was only 17 at the time, so the two couldn’t legally fuck? In what world is it appropriate to hold a casting session on someone’s bed and then lecture them about not sleeping with the person they were just told to make out horizontally with?
The angle here is not that Kristen and Rob were instantly attracted to each other, the angle is that the director had a teenager and an unemployed foreigner rolling around on top of her duvet cover while she watched and then immediately reprimanded them.
Honestly, this story never needed to be repeated. If the Twilight casting process was ripped from the pages of a supermarket bodice-ripper, don’t you think we’re better off not knowing?