Today's Evil Beet Gossip

The Snark Sagas: Cutting Comments From the Congregation

photo of lindsay lohan laughing in a car with samantha ronson pictures

AC on Kim Kardashian Got Fully Nude for W Magazine and We’ve Got the Pics:
“That said: I’m pretty sure if her areolae weren’t plated in silver here they’d be TERRIFYING.”

Sammy on So Apparently Charlie Sheen Isn’t in Rehab:
“Charlie, I’m begging you. Put down the little gold spoon and the pussy forever! I love you too much to see you go to an early grave!! What’s that? Ok, you can keep the pussy but the coke HAS GOT TO GO.”

evilbeetdouche on Is Lady Gaga Pregnant?:
“Gah Gah could deliver a truck through that Holland tunnel of a gash.”

ECF on Miley Cyrus Got Another Tattoo:
“It looks like a terrier with a blue bow. Am I right?”

Scout on Scott Disick Wants to Buy a Bike From Jesse James, Huh?:
“*screeching noises* Wait a second. Scott’s one of God’s chosen people? Fuck. All this time I’ve been wondering why I’m so attracted to him. I mean, I tend to like cocky. I like the Park Ave. tapestry inspired shirts and ties. But he’s just gross otherwise. But a Jew. It makes sense now. Jew is an immediate turn on…like Tall, or Has Cat.”

avicutez on Teasers From the New Britney Spears Video:
“Egypt and Britney Spears. I’m complex.”

Who takes it?

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  • Ugh. The silver. Ok. I’ll take it. (melt it down to something decent or whatever…) But anyways, 2nd place, no shame in that. Ahem. Was it because I said Jew and not Jewish?