Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Love It or Leave It: Audrina Patridge for Bongo

photo of audrina patridge in a bikini for bongo pictures

OK so today’s a pretty slow news day, unless you want to talk about Lindsay Lohan’s jewel-heisting ways or how dead Charlie Sheen is going to be by this time next year, all I’ve got is Audrina ‘Your Mom is More Entertaining‘ Patridge and her big old boobs, which scored her a spokespersonship for Bongo.

All there is to it is boobs, boobs, boobs. And what better a thing to look at on a slow, cold-probably-regardless-of-where-you-are Thursday?

Oh, and Audrina herself – hot or not? And Bongo, I mean hell … I was good friends with Bongo back in 7th grade. Is Bongo, like, actually cool anymore?

18 CommentsLeave a comment

  • This song is for sexy Princess,Mrs Audrina Patridge,it is a reggae song,and it,is called Dooms Day KKK,and it was originally,sang by a dub poet,named Peculiar I,but dear sexy,Mrs Patridge,I wrote,ma own,reggae song,for ya,to the instrumental,of Dooms Day KKK,using my,own lyrics,plus I renamed the original,name of this,song and I,changed it to,Stay Cute Mrs Patridge,but I still wrote this song,for you,to the instrumental,of Dooms Day KKK,using ma,own words.So,here is ma,song for ya,Mrs Patridge.The word lay-day,means lady,in ma song,dear Mrs Patridge.

    The renamed song title:Stay Cute Mrs Patridge

    Ma intro before,ma chorus,sexy girl:Well I & I,say greetings,in the name of His Imperial Majesty,Emperor Haile Selassie Ike,and in the name of his heavenly Angels,kingdom,and angels.

    Ma chorus:Girl,do you,like going,shopping,today?lay-day,have you,ever bin,clubbing?okay.

    Verse 1:Angels,like Michael,Gabriel,with wedding Bells,all demons,go to,hell,babe,you and I,I think,we’re heaven sent,and,you and I,I think,we need,to spend,time,shopping,club hopping,bar hopping,what’s popping,what’s happening,sexy babe,never stop,babe,from,feeling,very brave,what’s popping.

  • This song is for the lady A Patridge,it is called No No No Part 1,and it was sang by Destiny’s Child,but dear Ms A Patridge,I wrote ma own,love song,for you,to the instrumental,of No No No Part1,using my own lyrics.

    Song Title:No No No Part 1

    Chorus:Keep,the love,pretty babe,and never fall,keep the,love,sexy babe,and fade um all,I will never,let you,fail,I’ll make,a call,just to,make you smile,babe,and never fall.

    Verse 1:Keep your head up,little darling,I’m walking,babe,in ma city,I was busy,all yesterday,making stops,at some places,to get things done,number one,like the Lord,under the sun,here’s a good word,just to keep ya,I’ll treat you,nice-lay,pricey items,like some diamonds,girl,do you,care,little darling,do you hang out,at classy places,like The One,or The Blu,babe,that’s,in ma city.

  • Dear Mrs A P,as the lord liveth,ma songs for ya,are truly,genuine,caring,loving,and sincere,with no dirty motives,or hidden agendas,plus you owe me nothing,for writing ya ma songs,I’m sure you,have other fans,right?,well this fan,choose,to write ya a song or two,because,I’m spontaneous,like that Mrs A Patridge,congratulations,on all of your success.

  • This song,is for A Patridge,it is called I Think That She Knows,and it was,originally,sang by Justin Timberlake,but,I wrote ma own,song to the instrumental,of I Think That She Knows,using ma own,words,plus I renamed this song and changed it to,Hello Ma Dear,but I still,wrote,this song to the instrumental,of I think that she knows.

    Renamed song title:Hello Ma Dear

    Verse 1:I think I’m falling,babe,but still,I love ya,babe,and when,I say,my thangs,it means,I’m just,a prince,and you’re,the princess babe,you should know,love know,Oh,Oh,please know,you should know,Oh,Oh,you should know,please know,Oh,Oh,please know,love know,Oh,Oh,love know,please know,Oh,Oh

  • This song is,for sexy Mrs Audrina Patridge,it is called,Don’t Doubt Me,and it was originally rapped by a rapper named Bizzy Bone,but dear,sexy Mrs Audrina Patridge,I wrote ma own rap song,for ya,to the instrumental,of Don’t Doubt Me,using ma own,lyrics,plus I renamed,the original name,of Don’t Doubt Me,for ya,and I changed,it to,Nice Clothes Cutie,but I still,wrote it to,the instrumental,of Don’t Doubt Me,using ma own words,so this is ma song to,you sexy Mrs Audrina Patridge.Dear sexy Mrs Audrina Patridge,check may,means check me,and I will also,like to apologize,for saying the word ya,in ma songs,I say that word,because,it is a part of speech,that fits well,with ma rhyming sentences,dear sweet thang sexy,Mrs Audrina Patridge.

    Ma renamed song title:Nice Clothes Cutie

    Ma introduction before ma chorus:

    One two on,the microphone,check may,one two,one two,hey bay-bay,this,is yours

    Verse 1 for sweet thang Mrs Audrina Patridge:

    Take it away,to broadway,if ya holiday,lay-day,hope ya happy,shordy,have ya bin,to Italy,European cities,ma partner’s,over there,rocking shows,as they go,on a mission,rocking steady,honey,cutie,do your thang,I gets down,on business,witness me, getting busy,with it,girl I love ya babe,how is things on the beach soaking up the sunshine,babe,enjoy,your summer honey,spend time,to get fine,get refined,wine and dine,to be happy,love,none can test ya,none depress ya,you’re the best,sweet lay-day,honey,model cutie

    Ma chorus:Run thangs,lay-day,do you model,part time,babe,honey as a career,each year,you’re so dear,to everyone,around here,plus over there,run thangs,cute-ay,honey rock it,steady,honey,cutie,have ma bay-bays,I’ll be behave,in a grand way,yay yay,bay-bay,do your,thing babe

  • This movie script,is for Mrs Audrina Patridge,where she has the leading role,in this film,it is a comedy/family movie,and I think that,you should call your new movie,Clubbing Down Town,and the story/theme,of Clubbing Down Town should be based on the following:

    New movie title:Clubbing Down Town

    The story/theme,that Clubbing Down Town,should be based on is:

    After,a busy day at work,on a saturday,afternoon,you(Mrs Patridge),decided,to call up,some of your good friends,to hang out later on,in the evening.So later around 8:00pm,that evening,you(Mrs Patridge)and a whole bunch of,your friends,went partying,in your city,having a great time,then all,of you,decided to go,to a spot called Tony’s Joint,where they play great music,and as soon as you Mrs Patridge,and your friends stepped,into Tony’s Joint,everyone began,clapping,because,your(Mrs Patridge’s)friends,and you(Mrs Patridge),looked like huge movie stars,then you and your friends began dancing,to a sweet reggae song called Whether Or Not,a song,that was originally sang by a reggae singer,named Sizzla Kalonji,then you(sexy Mrs Patridge),was seen,by a prince from,Italy,then he introduced,himself to ya,and married you(Mrs Audrina),seven months,later,and you all lived happily ever after

    The End

  • This movie script,is for Mrs Princess Patridge,it is a comedy/family/thriller film,and the name of this movie is called The Flight Attendant,and the story/theme of The Flight Attendant,is this:

    Mrs Patridge’s new movie:The Flight Attendant

    The story/theme of this newer movie is:

    While working as an Air Hostess,on board,a huge air craft,called The Hawaiian Airlines,you(Mrs Patridge),was having lots of fun,taking a few shots of Baileys on your lunch breaks,and just chilling with the other air hostesses,then one afternoon,there was a strange gentleman,on board heading for Hawaii,and he was going there on business,then he offered you(sexy Mrs Patridge),a work opportunity,to work for his company,as his accountant,and he said that it was a good change of profession for you(Mrs Patridge),so you told him that you(Mrs Patridge)needed some time to think about it,then you accepted to work for the dude’s company,and his name was Harold Smith,and the reason that you(Mrs Patridge)choose,to work with Mr Smith,was because,he was a very professional and successful business person,and Mr Smith’s company was always expanding and becoming more famous,plus you(Mrs Patridge)got to travel a lot,because Mr.Smith was always,going on business trips,and he liked to have your(Mrs Patridge’s)company,then one day,you(Mrs Patridge) was seen by a different dude,his name was Mark Donaway,and he fell in love with you(Mrs Princess Patridge),because he thought that you(sexy Mrs Audrina)was very lovely,and he offered to buy you some flowers,and also take you(Mrs Patridge),to see a movie,at a local theatre,but Mr Smith was also fond of you(Mrs Patridge)as well,and he became a bit upset and heart broken,because he heard of you(Mrs Patridge)talking to Mark Donaway,and Mr Donaway asked you(Mrs Patridge),if you can marry him,but you told him(Donaway)no,because,you(Mrs Patridge)sensed that he(Sir Donaway),was a bit shady,and you began to feel that he(Donaway),wasn’t the right person for you(sexy Mrs Patridge),so you decided not to see him again,but he(Mr Mark Donaway),still had a crush on you Mrs Sexy Patridge,but he wasn’t a very cool person,so with the help of your new Manager Mr Harold Smith,you(Mrs Patridge)plus Mr Smith,got rid of Mark Donaway,and you(Mrs Patridge) and Mr Harold Smith both lived happily ever,becoming more famous and successful.

    The End

  • Ma name is Ike Nash,and I came from the caribbean,from an island named St.Vincent & The Grenadines,but now I live in Ontario,Toronto,in the Country,of Canada,and ya can reach I,at 4167522165 for more movie scripts,thanks and this song,is dedicated to Mrs Princess Patridge,it is called Hope And Pray,and it was originally sang by a reggae singer named Mavado,but dear Mrs Princess Patridge,I wrote ma own song to the instrumental of Hope And Pray,using ma own words,plus I renamed the original name of this song and changed it to Bless Ya Lay-Day,but I still wrote it to the instrumental of Hope And Pray using ma own words,so this song is dedicated to sexy Mrs Princess Patridge,and the word Lay-Day means lady,Mrs Patridge

    Tha renamed song title:Bless Ya Lay-Day

    Ma chorus:Model babe,model babe,rip the runway,rip it babe,rip it big,rip it good,hollywood,is yours,pretty babe,represent,represent,tear your hood,up,in a good way,rip it good,model babe,model cool,you’re cute,and so smooth,do your thangs,model babe

    Verse 1 for sexy Mrs Princess Patty:Do you,know,how cool,that you are,in your cars,super star,do you chill,at the bars,pretty babe,with your friends,in your Benz,super star,do like going swimming,pretty babe,then hang,at a,cool place,sipping drinks,sipping drinks,feeling good all the time,much love,to ya, babe,do your thing

    Ma chorus:

    Ma song title:You’re Such A Cutie

    Ma chorus:Model babe,bless ya,pretty honay,bless ya good,feel great,do your thang,model babe,tear it up,rip it babe,model babe,tear it up,on the hollywood strip,rip it up,rip it big,blaze honay,burn it up,for hollywood folks,burn it up,burn thangs,model babe

  • This is a movie script,for Mrs Audrina Patridge,and I think,that her next new movie should be a thriller,and she should,call her next new movie,Pasco The Baller,and the Story/Theme of Pasco The Baller,should be based on this story:

    Audrina’s new movie name:Pasco The Baller

    The story/theme of this new movie is:

    One day,you(Mrs Patridge),had front row seats,at a baseball game,and you had a perfect view of the whole match,then a player,whose name was Donrick Pasco,saw you(Mrs Patridge),looking at the game, and he(Pasco),was a famous batsman,for his baseball,team.And he fell in love with you(Mrs Audrina Patridge),at first sight,then he desired to steal a minute or two,while the game was still,going on,to run up and say hello,to you(Mrs Patridge),so he(Pasco)did,he stole two quick minutes,ran up to the fence,and gave,you(Mrs Patridge),a short love note,that he wrote down,from a pen and a piece,of paper,that was in his pocket,and the message said: (Hello Angel,my name is Donrick Pasco,and I think that you(Mrs Patridge),is the most beautiful,lady that I ever saw,and can you meet me after the game for some snacks and tea),then you(Mrs Patridge)waved to Don Pasco,from your seat and shouted yes,to him,then he smiled and waved back,so the game was over,then you(Mrs Patridge)met up with Pasco,for some tea and some snacks,then you both exchanged names,and his(Pasco’s)next game was in San Francisco,today,it was in Chicago,and there was thousands of people there,so you(Mrs Audrtina Patridge),accepted his invitation,to Donrick Pasco’s next game,and he give you(Mrs Patridge)three free tickets,so that you can bring three of your friends with you,plus he arranged a limousine,to have you(Mrs Patridge)and your friends driven to San Francisco,then the day came,for the game in San Francisco,and you(Mrs Patridge),and your three friends,whose names were Rochelle Petersons,Jessica Williams and Sabrina Rodriguez,all arrived safely and on time to see the game in San Francisco,and you were all given front row seats,to see the great match,then one of your friends,who was Jessica Williams,fell in love with Donrick Pasco,and she(Jessica Williams)did not care what,anyone thought,then you(Mrs Patridge),told her(Mrs Jessica Williams)that you(Mrs Patridge),was seeing Pasco,but Jessica,still didn’t want to let Pasco,slip away,from her charms,and this little incident,kind of separated you(Mrs Patridge)and Jessica Williams from being friends,for a little while,and Mrs Jessica Williams,plotted to get Pasco,all to her self,and she(Mrs Williams),kidnapped Rochelle Petersons,your(you Mrs Patridge’s plus Jessica’s),other friend,who also was at the game,Jessica kidnapped her,and demanded ransom for her release,since,she(Jessica Williams)could not be with Pasco,and so it is now,up to you(Mrs Patridge),with the help of Donrick Pasco,the free Rochelle Williams,safely and turn Jessica in to the Law for trial,and in the end of this movie,you(Mrs Patridge)and Pasco,did free Rochelle,and the three of you lived happily ever after.

    The End

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.