Today's Evil Beet Gossip

The Jersey Shore Crew Really Knows How to Dream Big

A photo of Snooki and JWoww

For instance, did you hear that the fourth season of the show is going to be filmed in Italy?  Can you even begin to imagine the sort of hijinks these kids will get into over there?  I can, and it involves many trips to the U.S. Embassy, several offended Italians, an average of 27 hilarious issues from language barriers per episode, and the destruction of at least one priceless artifact.

As if this wasn’t enough evidence of Jersey Shore thinking outside the box, there’s also the glorious news about a JWoww/Snooki spin-off.  Here’s the rundown:

The storyline — Snooks is finally moving out of her parents’ house and into a place with Jwoww — but, (surprise!!!) she’s totally unprepared to deal with actual real-life problems.

For example … the two have their sights set on a $1.5 million pad, but they don’t know what a mortgage is … or how to write a check … and they keep getting distracted by the “hot” mortgage broker.

But conflict erupts — so say the docs — because during their cohabitation, Snooki … gasp … “made a mess of the bathroom and didn’t change the toilet paper.” She also “ate a ton of Jwoww’s food” … and anyone who’s ever had a roommate knows that crap don’t fly.

And then they start their own book club and have classy parties and it’s just like a modern Laverne and Shirley, only smarter and edgier and more tan.  Right?

6 CommentsLeave a comment

  • “Didn’t change the toilet paper”? I thought you were supposed to line the Midgie-gunt’s cage with NEWSpaper! Judging by the pickles-dick-whipped cream stains in that sorry-ass Technicolor Dreamcoat weave, they’re going to need every section of the Sunday Times.

    MAMA MIA!! Vaffanculo, putanna! Fupa di Beppo!!!

  • Wow, what a hard looking pair of bitches. I absolutely loathe and am revolted by these idiots. All of them and I wish people would stop fucking paying attention to them so they’ll go away!

    You know how Taco Bell is being sued because their beef doesn’t meet the minimum required amount to be called meat? That’s what these morons are. No. Value. Added.