This story starts out nicely, with Charlie in New York to visit ex-wife Denise Richards and their two children. They stayed in a hotel in separate rooms, and while Denise tended to the children, Charlie’s night went in a different direction.
Cut to 2 AM this morning, when police arrived at Charlie’s hotel room to find him drunk and naked, and as one police officer said, “intoxicated, irrational, and emotionally disturbed.” He’d thrown some furniture around, and he’d also fucked up the chandelier – classic Charlie. And you know who called the police in the first place? The hooker who was hiding in the bathroom! She says that she and Charlie were just doing some boozing when he started flipping his shit because he couldn’t find his wallet, so she locked herself in the bathroom. Anyway, the police officers were like “listen, buddy, you can go to the hospital or you can go to the police station, your call,” and of course Charlie chose the hospital. He spent the night there, but tonight he’s heading back home to L.A., no harm, no foul.
Oh, but wait, guys, wait. Charlie Sheen’s rep just made a little statement, and it turns out that Charlie wasn’t drinking. It was an allergic reaction to a medication, that’s why he went to the hospital. Of course he didn’t get drunk and traumatize a prostitute. Now don’t we all just look so silly?