Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Bang or Bust: Hayden Panettiere

photo of Hayden Panettiere at the beach in a red bikini

Hayden Panettiere was photographed frolicking on the beach yesterday — without her Jack and the Beanstalk giant boyfriend, Wladimir Klitschko. And though he’s not pictured in these latest photographs, I thought I’d do a “Bang or Bust” on those two, ’cause they’re just so damned adorable together. It was like when Gary Coleman married Gummy McBallgag Shannon Price.

Panettiere, who I’m kind of indifferent about in her wee existence, looks banging hot in her two-piece lifeguard-looking bikini and I think it’s honestly a toss-up between her and her super-sized boyfriend.

Who would you rather? Eeny-weenie midget porn or orifice-ripping boxer sex? The choice … is yours.

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