Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Get Ready for Levi’s Johnston


I know, I know, everyone’s going to be making that joke today. It’s okay. It’s funny. And I’m just delighted to hear that Levi Johnston is going to pose for Playgirl. I totally thought Playgirl had folded. What a fantastic way to make porn for “women” relevant again. To prepare, Levi is training three hours a day, six nights a week at an Anchorage gym with a local body builder. (That local body builder is not Sarah Palin.) He hasn’t reached a formal agreement with Playgirl, but his attorney says that it’s “a foregone conclusion.” Which may mean he’s bullshitting this whole thing for publicity, or to strong-arm Playgirl into paying him more money. Which, again, is totally okay with me.

I have to admit, I love Levi Johnston. I mean, the poor guy was just trying to fuck the hottest girl at his high school without a rubber — a common teenage pursuit — and then her mother had to go and run for Vice President of the fucking United States and drag him into a national spotlight, force him to propose to the aforementioned hot girl (whom he was just trying to fuck without a rubber, not freakin’ marry), and then the whole family treats him like shit and nobody will even let him see his baby. He got dealt a fairly crappy hand here, and I love that he’s dealing with it by making every possible exploitative penny and attempting to muddy the Palin name in the process. It’s how I like to think I’d behave in similar circumstances.

I have to admit something else. The AP’s headline for this story is “Father of Palin’s grandson to pose for Playgirl.” I read that like ten times wondering to myself who the hell was posing for Playgirl. “Father of Palin’s grandson” is just way too much dot-connecting for me. I didn’t understand it was Levi until I read the article. I’m still laughing to myself about that one.

28 CommentsLeave a comment

  • What I love about EB is that I can read posts and know exactly who posted them. Like you know, when Im done reading it im like ‘that was beet’ and then I scroll up and I AM ALWAYS RIGHT! baha…

    anyways yeah I think this whole thing is funny.

  • “the whole family treats him like shit and nobody will even let him see his baby. He got dealt a fairly crappy hand here, and I love that he’s dealing with it by making every possible exploitative penny and attempting to muddy the Palin name in the process. It’s how I like to think I’d behave in similar circumstances.”

    You couldn’t have said it better. I totally agree with this post. It tickles me that he’s doing everyone a favor in guaranteeing she will not be able to run for public office again without his name and scandalous behaviour attached. I think we should support him in anything he does. Suck it conservative Republicans!!

  • it’s not Levi himself I have the most trouble with, it’s the public’s weird celebration of him. He is so not deserving, and talk about a famewhore.

  • Levi parents were arrest for all sorts of bad criminal behavior and Palin tried to sympathize and help him.., then Levi used faked ID to get a job.. he’s kinda mad and jealous he can’t travel and make tons of money with the ex family; but. fair is fair, let him do his own thing for a while and when we next hear from him .. he’ll have knocked Jason Alexander, K-Fed, Cris Judd, Ojani Noa and Nick Hatchey out from their fame path top number spots to glory, I bet.

  • funny the title had the same effect on me… I think it’s because in the gossip sites we hear about Levi directly so often, that it’s weird to hear him referred to as a sub character to Palin.

  • I could care less about this kid or his dick in Playgirl. What I do love is YOUR writing Beet. Please, Please, Please go back to writing more blogs!!!

    • Ahh.. mixed emotions. I still wanna hate you for selling out, Sasha.. but you’re just so fucking funny. Let’s see how long this lasts before the site gets pawned off on kelly, molls and whatever else Beet.. Wendie still kicks ass though (Love you Wendie)

  • “dealt a crappy hand”? He dealt his own hand. He was fucking the governor’s daughter without a rubber!

  • right on, beet. this whole thing is HILARIOUS and I love, love, LOVE that kathy griffin saw the potential. she just stuns me (and that’s not easy) she is so funny.

    can’t wait to watch this unfold.


  • I loved this post. Beet’s comments and sarcasm were right on track. She wrote everything I would have liked have written myself. Thanks Beet!

  • Not as crappy of a life as the barely 20 woman who’s taking care of his child 24 hours a day.

    Poor Levi, he fucked some girl without being responsible and now is getting a deal to be in Playgirl. How sad.

    • In fairness, he would like to participate. She wouldn’t have to go it alone. But the Palin’s won’t let him. I am not a fan of the guy, but they are setting up every roadblock they can to not let the child also be with his father.

  • i remember commenting on a levi photo here a while ago in which it looked like he had a sock shoved in his jeans.

    i will def. buy that issue to see if he is packing all the heat that it appeared was in that photo.

  • I TOTALLY had to read that headline yesterday a million times too! I couldn’t figure out who the “Father of Palin’s Grandson” was — way too confusing! Glad I wasn’t the only one!

  • What a great classic Beet post. I love me some Levi, too, for all the same reasons. I think he & Tank should have a reality show!

  • I much rather see Levi fame whoring it around LA than the “couple we don’t speak of”.

    But I don’t see what he is doing any different than every idiot that has gotten a little fame from some reality/game show.

    Or Paris Hilton. Geez that girl got famous for making a bad home-made porno.

    At least Levi seems to know how to behave in public. And after his “date” with Kathy, she stated he was really a nice kid. Nothing fake about him.

  • I have to say…Levin is FINE. Bristol is not..
    Not a big playgirl “reader” however, i might have to take a look at this one

  • My impression of this guy is that he’s kinda stupid. Don’t get me wrong,I’d wax his hockey stick in a minute….but then what do you do with him? Hope he has a big one and shows it…..

  • i am in favor of him doing what ever he wants ‘America” remember.
    would it have been more appropriate if his ‘Nom de Porn’ were Levi Johnson!