Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Breaking news: Taylor Swift DOES have a belly button (and Diplo is terrified of it)

taylor swift

Taylor Swift made a point a while back in saying that she always wears high-waisted pants because she can’t commit to showing belly button. Once you show belly button, it’s a whole other kettle of fish and she wasn’t quite ready to commit.

Until now, that is. While on vacation with Haim (an excellent band, for the unfamiliar), Taylor finally let herself go and posed in a two piece bikini. SHE HAS A BELLY BUTTON, WORLD! It’s a miracle! Yes, this was apparently big news this weekend – it was a slow one.

Since there’s not much else to the bikini story, there IS more to Taylor’s saga with Diplo. As you know, Katy Perry‘s maybe-sometimes boyfriend was talking shit about Taylor on Twitter a few months ago, but now it’s getting a bit more serious. You see, Diplo says he knows way too many of Taylor’s “secrets” and he’s “scared for his life” because of it, as he told GQ.

“She has like 40 million Twitter fans. Forty million! Yeah. It’s crazy. I’m a fan though. Her powers — she’s big. She’s strong, bro. Taylor Swift is very strategic with her friends and enemies. And I know lots of secrets. I can’t divulge, but I know a lot of stuff about her. And she’s definitely, there’s definitely scary stuff going on. And I’m scared. I’m scared for my life.”

Diplo, shut the hell up for once in your life. He’s been THE WORST since back in the M.I.A. saga days, and he just gets worse with time. A grown ass man is going on like this, guys – and that’s really sad. Even if I didn’t like Taylor Swift, I’d still think that – grow up, dude.

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Lindsay Lohan likes Photoshop, too

lindsay lohan

Lindsay Lohan might be in a bit of a mess lately, what with the whole “messing up her probation yet again” thing and the Chikungunya virus hospitalization thing, but that’s not going to stop her fun. No, she’s still gotta post selfies to get feedback from her legions of remaining Instagram fans, so she did just that on Saturday with the above photo. Her caption was the cherry on top!

lindsay lohan instagram

Yes, Lindsay, “hehe” indeed. Except there’s a bit of a problem with your Calvins, girl. Those bottles in the background are being sucked in towards your stomach… meaning your stomach’s been sucked in with Photoshop. Like many of the greats who have come before you, you have not yet learned the art of making sure your background objects don’t warp when you shave a few inches off your waistline.

I really don’t understand the urge to do this shit – she looks comically bad – huge tits and literally the rest of her body like a stick? The top and bottom half of her don’t even look like they go together. I’m not slating Lindsay Lohan’s boobs, obviously, or slating skinny people. I’m slating the fact that Lindsay – who is naturally thin – felt the need to make herself look ridiculously moreso by doing a shitty Photoshop job. Stop the madness!!

Though I suppose nothing will ever compare with this genius retouching job:

john mayer

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2015 SAG Awards Fashion Post!

Zach-Galifianakis

THIS is Zach Galifianakis. FOR REAL!!!

Welcome to our SAG Awards fashion post, in which I’m in a miserable mood and trash the hell out of what celebrities are wearing. It’s sure to be a fun ride, so join me. Go through the photos and pick out who has the BESTWORST, and most WTF outfit of the evening. Could be fun!!!

 

Claire+Danes

Claire Danes. The hell is this? Why does this need a belt? She looks stupid as hell. (Hey, I didn’t say this was going to be particularly witty.)

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The Affair’s Ruth Wilson on Sex Scenes and Orgasms

Ruth+Wilson

Ruth Wilson just won a Golden Globe for her work on The Affair, a show in which she, well, frankly, shows a lot of boob. But she’s insisting it’s not just for the hell of it, while also making a good point about how we don’t see male nudity the same way we see female nudity. It’s kind of a “duh” point, but still, it made me think, so maybe it will give you something to process, too.

Anyway, here’s what the Brit (it blows my mind that she’s British), told Net-a-Porter’s magazine, via PEOPLE:

These [sex] scenes need to be real and they need to have a narrative as much as any other scene. They can’t be purely titillation. They need to move the story forward and the characters forward.

[...] It’s assumed that women will get their breasts out, and have to get their breasts out, and I balk at that. It’s unnecessary and it’s unfair.

Why have I always got to do the orgasm face? There should be a male orgasm face. Why is it always the woman who’s orgasming? Let’s analyze the male orgasm. Why aren’t we thinking about that a bit more?

Okay so I totally get her point here, and I think it’s unfair that we expect women to show their boobs onscreen, but we never see dong, or men orgasming, the way we see women orgasming, I guess. But then again, for real, part of me is like, if you hate this so much and disagree with it so much, stop doing it. You’re the one who signed on to a Showtime show in which you’re naked in like half the episode, every episode. You just won an award for it, and it’s paying your bills. So if you hate it so much, cut it out. You know? Is that petty of me?

Anyway, have you been watching The Affair? Frankly, I freakin love it. What did you guys think of the finale? SPOILERS — BEWARE — I thought it was excellent. That twist of seeing her and Noah together, with presumably a baby, was just kind of mind-blowing, and then he gets arrested? Rad. Where is this gonna go? I can’t wait!

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Divorce Report: Patrick Dempsey, Mandy Moore To Divorce

patrick-dempsey-mandy-moore

Well what a weekend this is for celebrity divorces! Patrick Dempsey and his wife, Jillian Fink, are divorcing (she’s the one filing) after 15 years together, and Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams are also calling it quits, of about 6 years.

Here’s Dempsey and Fink’s (sounds like a wacky law firm!) statement on the matter, exclusively from PEOPLE:

It is with careful consideration and mutual respect that we have decided to end our marriage. Our primary concern remains the wellbeing of our children, and we ask with profound gratitude that you respect our family’s privacy at this very sensitive time.

The couple have 3 kids: one set of twins (7 years of age), and one 12-year-old.

Now as for Moore and Adams, here’s their statement, given to Us:

Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams have mutually decided to end their marriage of almost 6 years. It is a respectful, amicable parting of ways and both Mandy and Ryan are asking for media to respect their privacy at this time.

I think Dempsey and Fink have the better statement, for sure. It’s more personal and heartfelt. Moore’s and Adam’s feels wooden. C-.

Anyway, I don’t know anything about either marriage, but I’m surprised by the Dempsey one — I thought they were rock solid.

What do you think? Surprised by these?

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Kristin Cavallari Thinks She’s Too Skinny

Kristin+Cavallari

Kristin Cavallari recently had a baby, and while most celebs (and normal women) struggle to keep the weight off, Cavallari claims she’s struggling to keep it on. Yeah, there’s a change. We don’t usually hear that one too often.

Even though she thinks she’s too thin, she still works her butt off at the gym and eats scarily well.

Cavallari talked about her “oh poor me” inability to gain weight plus her workout regimen with E!, saying:

“There’s no real secret, I work my butt off in the gym,” the fashionista revealed to E! News. “I woke up at 5:30 a.m. and went and walked uphill on the treadmill for 30 minutes.”

[...] “I try to work out four to five times a week and I eat incredibly healthy,” she shared. “I’m the kind of person that does not eat any toxic chemicals…I just try to eat real food. I think probably the best tip is that I try to always get a vegetable in somehow, even in the morning if you’re making a smoothie, you can throw some spinach in it and it’s an easy way to get a serving of greens.”

“I don’t why or how, but after I had children, my body literally changed. And now for me, it’s about trying to keep muscle on and gain muscle, so that, yeah, I don’t look too thin,” she explained. “It’s very easy, because I have no curves, that I can look really skinny and I don’t like that look. So, yes, I’m drinking protein shakes, I’m trying to put on muscle and I’m lifting very heavy weight right now.”

Hey, you do you, girl. Every woman should be confident in her body and happy with the way she looks, so I’ll try not to roll my eyes too hard, but I just can’t stand when celebs say stuff like that.

It’s just, if she really wanted to gain weight, she could, you know, stop waking up at 5:30 AM to work out, you know? But I guess she wants to put on muscle, so yeah.

I’m just jealous, I wish my problem was thinking I can “look really skinny” and not liking that.

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Miley Cyrus Freely Admits She Can’t Spell Her Boyfriend’s Last Name

Miley+Cyrus+Patrick+Schwarzenegger

Let’s review things we know about Miley Cyrus: she loves to masturbate, she has her own special way of celebrating Christmas, and she’s dating Patrick Schwarzenegger. Now we can add something else to the list: she doesn’t know how to spell her own boyfriend‘s last name. That’s right, Ms. Cyrus freely admitted on Good Morning America, that when it comes to spelling “Schwarzenegger”, she’s just stumped. Via Daily News:

“Literally, I just had this conversation, I can’t tell you,” the 22-year-old said.

“Apparently there’s not a T in it.”

Good lord. Papa Schwarzenegger doesn’t mind; apparently, they met up and he thinks she’s just great:

She met Patrick’s dad Arnold Schwarzenegger over the holidays, and he said to have been “thrilled” to meet her.

I’ll grant her, Schwarzenegger isn’t the easiest name to spell — I used to struggle with it before writing for Evil Beet — but why on earth would you admit that on TV??? You’re dating the guy and you can’t spell his last name? What a ninny.

Without thinking about it, can YOU spell “Schwarzenegger”?

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