From Radar Online:

Jessica Simpson has done a deal to sell her daughter’s first pictures for an incredible $800,000.

The Fashion Star judge has brokered the impressive amount in return for People magazine running exclusive photos of the tot, according to Women’s Wear Daily. The 31-year-old star, whose celebrity fashion line is reported to have earned her one billion dollars, gave birth to her first child, a daughter named Maxwell Drew, by fiancé Eric Johnson on May 1.

Simpson’s huge payday still ranks her well behind other celebrities who hit premium pay dirt with their progenies. Matthew McConaughey and his girlfriend sold the first photos of their newborn son Levi to OK! magazine for $3 million. Jennifer Lopez is thought to have received $6 million from People for the first look at her twins. And the same publication reportedly gave Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt around $11 million for the exclusive on their twins Vivienne and Knox.

First of all, wait a damn minute. These magazines are paying 3, 5, 7, 11 million dollars to be the magazine to claim FIRSTIES on celebrity baby photos?! Consider me completely floored. It’s not as if no one’s ever going to see those babies anyway. Spending such an exorbitant amount of money on photos of babies who are not going to be babies forever is just completely beyond me. I mean, how many more people are going to buy your magazine because there’s a picture of a celebrity baby in it? My point exactly.

Also, why is Jessica Simpson‘s baby so much less important than the babies of Jennifer Lopez and Matthew McConaughey? Come on! Jessica Simpson’s baby trumps all of those other silly babies. I’m disappointed that People couldn’t do better than a measly $800k, aren’t you?

Lisa Marie Presley performs on ‘American Idol’. [Hollywood Backwash]

Raven-Symone is a lesbian. [Hollywood Dame]

1,000 Reasons you probably shouldn’t see ‘The Dictator‘. [IDLYITW]

Sean Penn is back with his ex-girlfriend. [Hollywood PQ]

Everyone officially hates Kim Kardashian. [Celebslam]

Matt Bomer up front. [Socialite Life]

John Cena’s wife won’t let him divorce her. [TMZ]

What happened to Jada Pinkett-Smith’s face? [INFDaily]

Jenny McCarthy nudes. [Yeeeah]

Looks for Fall 2012. [The Frisky]

Kanye West did a short film for Cannes. [Huff Po]

Blake and Ryan on the rocks? [Cele|bitchy]

Michael Fassbender is not Tom Cruise. [Lainey Gossip]

… And Tom Cruise is not John Travolta. [Lainey Gossip]

… And John Travolta reportedly tried to blow Jeff Conaway while he was sleeping. Before he was dead, of course. [The Superficial]

Justin Bieber likes penises, too. [The Superficial]

“Hearing about all the cases now, I regret not saying something sooner. He was putting his hands where he wanted me to work and kind of grinding on the table. At one point, he actually pulled my hand between his legs, up to his scrotum. I started working on his other leg, and it all started back up again. He started putting his butt up in the air. I was just trying to do whatever I could to distract him, but he started getting aggressive and grabbed my hand again.”

That, up there? That’s the latest allegation to come from a masseuse who claims he was sexually battered by John Travolta. My God. The “putting his butt up in the air” image really, really kills me, guys, in all sorts of ways. It grosses me out entirely, and makes me laugh uncontrollably. I guess it’s kind of like watching that birth video from school for the first time all over again.

In related news, John Travolta was said to have assaulted his former Grease co-star, the deceased Jeff Conaway. Conaway reportedly left the confession in a suicide note (botched suicide, that is) back in 2006. Here’re the highlights of the story, courtesy of the NY Post:

The Hollywood horndog shocked “Grease” co-star Jeff Conaway when he attempted to give him oral sex while he was sleeping, a bombshell report claims. Travolta’s steamy Early Morning Fever session happened in the 1990s at Conaway’s home, Conaway’s former fiancée, Vikki Lizzi, told the National Enquirer. The late Conaway allegedly said he was so dismayed to wake up and find his friend giving him oral sex that it ended his long relationship with Travolta.

So, yeah. Take it with a grain of salt, because not only are we talking National Enquirer, we’re talking Vikki Lizzi, too, and both of those put together aren’t exactly credible sources. Especially together. But hey. One never knows, now, do they?

Lizzi also talks about the fact that John and Kelly Preston’s marriage is all just for show, but people have been speculating on that for years anyway:

“Jeff told me that John and Kelly’s marriage was an arrangement. Jeff said that Kelly knows that John is gay, and that’s why she’s OK with it.”

I just don’t know why John can’t come out and admit it. If he did, he might be a hell of a lot more likable. That and, of course, if he stopped trying for the anal probe every damn time he got a massage, jeez.

From Blind Gossip:

Her career has waned, but this girl isn’t willing to sit back and see other young performers take any headlines away from her. Lots of antics in the past couple of months, each one that should be accompanied by the caption “Hey! Look at ME!”

Significant Other starring in a movie? Upstage him on the red carpet! People talking about how good looking he is? Wear (or don’t wear) something that creates a photo frenzy! He scored another big acting job? Create a rumor that you are in contention for a big TV job! His brother is having a baby? Adopt another pet! Your movie flops? Get another piercing or tattoo! Not cool.

Her hunger for fame and need for constant attention is exhausting everyone, especially her Significant Other. Word is that he is looking for the exit door.

Miley Cyrus. Miley Cyrus for days.

Her boyfriend, Liam Hemsworth, did The Hunger Games, of course, and she wore that ridiculous outfit to the premiere. Everybody realized how beautiful Liam is, and Miley flashed her vag to the paparazzi. Liam’s career has started blowing up, and Miley almost got that X Factor gig. Liam’s brother, Chris, and his wife just had a little baby girl, and Miley just adopted yet another dog. Nobody liked Miley’s new movie, LOL, and she just got her nose pierced. Did we cover every single thing in that blind item? I believe we did.

Even though I feel like I made a pretty solid case, do you think this blind item means anything other than that Liam is getting sick of Miley’s shenanigans?

From the National Enquirer via Celebitchy:

Rihanna is in a desperate life-or-death battle with liver damage caused by years of boozing and out-of-control partying, sources tell The Enquirer exclusively.

The 24-year-old Grammy winner was hospitalized after an early May bender, and her reckless behavior, couple with her grueling work schedule, has friends and experts warning that she’s on a fast track to becoming the next Whtiney Houston.

“Rihanna is spiraling out of control and is headed for an early grave,” said one concerned insider. “It never seems to be one beer or one cocktail. Once she gets started, Rihanna pounds drinks all night long, sometimes until the sun comes up. She definitely goes on binges. She’s been a hard drinker since her teens and her friends and family are desperately urging her to get into rehab.”

Medical experts say the sexy singer’s drinking habits could be deadly. “Rihanna could be dead tomorrow from liver failure,” Orlando-based, board-certified physicial Dr. Gabe Mirkin told The Enquirer. He noted: “Anybody who drinks alcohol for more than two hours a day, even if it is binge drinking once a week, is looking a premature death. Once the liver is permanently damaged, it’s over.”

Dr. Robert Waldman, consultant to the Cliffside Malibu treatment center and a 25-year veteran of addiction medicine, agreed. “The earlier you start to drink, the more the body becomes dependent on alcohol. It can cause deadly cirrhosis of the liver and alcohol poisoning — even at her age.”

Rihanna’s world came crashing down earlier this month. She missed an “SNL” final dress rehearsal and needed a shot of penicillin to make it htrough her May 5 performance. And on May 8, she tweeted a picture of her arm hooked up to an intravenous drop, claiming she was suffering from a nasty bout of the flu, a day after attending the Costume Institute Gala in New York. She was reportedly hospitalized for exhaustion and dehydration.

Ratcheting up her stress, she’s coming off a grueling tour last year, and she’s been flying all over the world to promote her film Battleship. Rihanna recoverd from her frightening hospitalization to make it to the May 10 L.A. premiere, but then she alarmed onlookers by skipping dinner, opting to chew gum and drink a lime cocktail instead. Two days later, she was seen partying until 4 a.m. in a New York nightclub.

Sadly, the entertainer, whose father is a former crack addict, appears to be continuing her nonstop pace — blazing a round-the-world party trail since shse started the year knocking back beers and smoking pot during a Hawaiian vacation.

Yeah, I don’t know about all this. I mean, I’d believe everything besides the part about “the life or death battle with liver damage,” but that’s the main idea behind the story, isn’t it? I believe that Rihanna works way too much, and then when she’s not working, she spends way too much time partying. And sure, she’s 24, she’s going to want party and drink and smoke weed and all that, but girlfriend needs a break. This is one time that a celebrity has been treated for exhaustion and I actually believe she was exhausted. But I’ve seen too many people drink too much during their late teens and early twenties and turn out fine to believe that her liver is that bad. It’s possible, of course, but I don’t buy it.

Also, how creepy are these doctors. “Rihanna could be dead tomorrow from liver failure,” please. Go give a tetanus shot and shut your mouth.

In what is possibly the most terrifying news of the year, LeAnn Rimes has taken an interest in guns, and not a week after we learned that she was considering getting a restraining order against her husband’s ex-wife, Brandi Glanville. Because, of course, Brandi is the one we have to worry about here. Brandi is the one who made very real threats to LeAnn, and Brandi is so obviously the one who is mentally unstable. Right?

Nah, you guys know that LeAnn is out of her mind. She has no business messing with guns, especially not when this is clearly another publicity stunt. I don’t know if she’s trying to intimidate Brandi with some weird kind of “look what I can do” routine at the shooting range or if she genuinely believes that Brandi wants to do her harm, but either way, somebody needs to take the guns away from her.

Just to strike some more fear into your hearts, here’s a picture of LeAnn with an actual gun:

And an even bigger actual gun:

LeAnn posted these pictures on Twitter, natch, with captions like “I used to go shopping on a day off, now I go shooting!” and “bang bang…..” But for sure, she’s the one who needs the restraining order.