Taylor Swift wrote an entire album about Jake Gyllenhaal. [The Superficial]

Kim Kardashian tried to get with Tim Tebow, but she’s Satan incarnate, so he said no. [Cele|bitchy]

Your ultimate American Idol recap. [Starpulse]

Hilarious model inner monologue. [The Frisky]

Demi Moore‘s had a “Red Bull addiction” for years. That’s what this is all about, I guess. [TMZ]

Bradley Cooper and Zoe Saldana spotted together for the first time. [Socialite Life]

Vanessa Paradis has EVEN MORE to say about her non-split. [The Blemish]

Would YOU get sleazy for Ron Weasley? [theBERRY]

Mark Wahlberg was in New Orleans yesterday, fighting international terrorism. [Celebslam]

Heidi and Seal: still wearing their wedding rings. [Popbytes]

The two most famous white people alive, according to Rachel Dratch. [OMGBlog]

‘Welcome Back Kotter‘ dies. [Huff Po]

The Smiths collaborate on a project to save their marriage. [Lainey Gossip]

The 2012 Mommy Campaign. [Lainey Gossip]

Cher is not dead. OR IS SHE. [Hollywood Backwash]

Demi Moore loves Adderall, too. [IDLYITW]

So, I said yesterday that the 911 call featuring Demi‘s rescuers would be sent out to the ‘net for all of the public’s listening pleasure, and it has been. I haven’t listened to it. And if you want to listen to it, it’s out there, but you’re not going to find it here – at least from me – because like I said, I think it’s weird. Morbid might be a better word. Like, that one website, Rotten.com? God do I hate that website. There’s such bizarre stuff on there, and I think certain things are better left unheard or unseen (nudie photos, now that’s something entirely different. We’re all nude under our clothes, let’s just get on with it, OK? I mean really. Show me what you’re working with).

So, right. Back to Demi. People‘s got the scoop, saying that the friend who phoned in the emergency call claimed that Demi smoked something “similar to incense,” but not pot, and that was the catalyst to the earlier-mentioned seizure. So what was it? I don’t know. Your guess is as good as mine. This story’s gotten so messed up and retold and convoluted that I’m going to be completely ridiculous and say ‘bath salts’. One thing that I did read, however, was that the woman on the phone was often heard during the call referring to another woman by the name of ‘Ru’. Um, would that possibly be Rumer Willis we’re talking about? Demi’s twenty-three year-old daughter? I’m thinking so.

And isn’t that just great. Demi’s oldest daughter was probably present for her mom’s idiocy. Because really, what else was it? It might have been a different story if Demi had just collapsed and maybe seized because of exhaustion and not eating and stress and what not, but she collapsed and seized because …

(more…)

Jim Henson died in 1990, yet his work continues to live and breathe.

But before he was known as the creator of the Muppets, Henson did a lot of odd jobs, including some commercial work.

AT&T—which, of course, began as the Southwestern Bell Corporation—recently rediscovered this 1963 movie by Henson. So they dusted it off and slapped it up on YouTube!

The Huffington Post:

The film, made for the company then known as The Bell System, was shown at a seminar for leaders of the then-nascent data-communications field. AT&T, which rustled up the video from Henson’s archive and put it on its YouTube page, writes that the film was inspired by an executive named Ted Mills and his memo to Henson, which described the relationship between man and machine this way: “He [the robot] is sure that All Men Basically Want to Play Golf, and not run businesses—if he can do it better.”

“Robot” features a cold, unfeeling machine consuming “oceans of information” as it derides the laziness and emotional vulnerability of man. It’s a fun, dark little piece with a kicker that will leave you smiling.

It isn’t much of a “kicker” exactly, but the point is, machines will never replace people because all machines eventually break. And as corporations get more and more faceless—more “robotic,” really—I can’t help but wish we had another Jim Henson.

I am really in love with this type of puppeteering, you guys. The machine is supposed to be this cruel, cold thing, but he’s actually really cute! He has googly eyes! He burps! It is even cute when he murders a little bird. Jim Henson was a genius!

Last year, Jim Henson would have celebrated his 75th birthday.

From In Touch Weekly:

As LeAnn Rimes’ one-year wedding anniversary with husband Eddie Cibrian approaches, she is eager to give him the best gift ever – a baby. In fact, LeAnn wants to have a child with Eddie – who has two sons, Mason and Jake, with ex-wife Brandi Glanville – more than anything in the world.

But LeAnn is already struggling to overcome a major roadblack: “She doesn’t want to gain the weight!” a source reveals to In Touch. The reason? A size 0, LeAnn is afraid that when she gets pregnant, Eddie will be turned off be her bloated body. In fact, says the source, LeAnn heard that Eddie stopped having sex with Brandi when she was expecting both Mason and Jake.

“Eddie loves petite girls – the thinner the better,” says the source. But LeAnn knows she won’t be able to maintain her skeletal figure while pregnant. “She fears that Eddie will stray or stop having sex with her if she gains any baby weight.”

Now, she’s having second thoughts, the source says, “LeAnn is truly torn over this.” In fact, she’s so desperate to come up with a solution, she’s even looking using a surrogate mother, the source says.

The dilemma is driving her crazy, and friends think she is making a huge mistake by putting her looks before her desire to start a family.

“Everyone knows how hard LeAnn worked for her body,” says the source. “But it would be really selfish and a shame if she lets that prevent her from becoming a mom.”

OK, so this is probably going to be the first – and last – time that I’ll ever defend LeAnn Rimes for being … well, LeAnn Rimes. I mean, how often can you see things like this, and like this, and like this, and not be completely jaded and annoyed by the antics of a woman who lives to seek attention?

This whole business of being afraid to get pregnant (when it’s so obviously what she wants) because she doesn’t want to turn her douchebag husband off, though? That’s just not healthy, guys. And yeah, I realize that it’s generally LeAnn’s problem that she’s not exactly the picture of positive self-esteem and self-worth, but come on. If this is true, and she genuinely feels that critical of herself, then it’s that f-cktard Eddie‘s place to help his wife grow and learn and appreciate herself for who she is, whether she’s a size f-cking zero or not. Ugh. Brandi Glanville, much as she grosses me out, too, completely lucked out when this loser walked out of her life. I mean, good riddance to bad rubbish.

Eddie Cibrian, you’re a complete and utter SCUZ. I hope your penis gets leprosy and falls off. Into a vat of molten battery acid. After you impregnate LeAnn, that is.

Well that’s kind of a cocktease, now, isn’t it? And speaking of random cockteases, did you know that there’s a female celebrity out there whose real last name is ‘Cockburn’? I mean, LOL! How funny is that! I actually just found that out today when I was looking for a picture to run with the morning link roundup. If you noticed the photo on that particular post, you’ll see that it’s of Olivia Wilde. Whose, yes, actual last name is ‘Cockburn’.

Now, there are so, so many ways I can make fun of that, and I’d like to – I’d really, really like to, in another place, and another time – but this slot today isn’t supposed to be about Olivia Wilde. It’s supposed to be about Matthew Broderick. And how he’s doing something Ferris Bueller-related for a Super Bowl commercial this year. I think it’s a pretty neat concept, considering it’s really the thing that made him famous and kept him famous after all these years (aside from marrying that miserable bitch Sarah Jessica Parker, of course), but I’m hoping it’s that he’s going to come out as a gay Ferris Bueller, because I’ll tell you: the movie was on just this past weekend and after watching it, there was absolutely no doubt in my mind how gay Matthew Broderick was. And oh, right. Is.

Are Child Protective Services going to take away Halle Berry’s daughter? [Bossip]

Who wants to win a Grammy? [LA Times]

Lindsay Lohan‘s being sued for that one time when she hit a baby with her car. [The Superficial]

Pamela Anderson‘s dating an NFL player now. [Lainey Gossip]

Michael Jackson’s daughter is in love with Justin Bieber. Move over, Gomez. [Starpulse]

Jessica Biel refused Justin Timberlake’s first ring because it was too small. [Cele|bitchy]

Aubrey Plaza talks about sex with Bill Murray. [Huff Po]

Two porn stars running for mayor. [The Frisky]

VIDEO: “Real” reason Kim Kardashian divorced Kris Humphries. [Bossip]

Brad Pitt says marrying Angelina Jolie is inevitable. [Yeeeah]

Olivia Wilde shows half the country her tits. [Amy Grindhouse]

Uncanny ‘Friends’ and ‘How I Met Your Mother’ similarities. [theBERRY]

Kate Gosselin doesn’t care about the capsized Italian ship and her casualties. [INFDaily]

Lady Gaga’s boyfriend hates Lady Gaga. [IDLYITW]

Ian Somerhalder: Cat Detective. [The Superficial]