Today's Evil Beet Gossip

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58195911olsentwins8312009113356pm Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen -- can you tell which one is which? -- spent some time this weekend in Japan attending the opening of Opening Ceremonies flagship store.   As Beet mentioned the other day, the Olsen twins are looking totally different.  I am now more convinced than ever that this change in appearance stems from more than "Mary-Kate finally ate a sandwich."  In case you didn't know, the large-headed, large-eared one on the right is MK....

Hugh Jackman Throws Career In Wood Chipper

57396421mileycyrus629200983752pm Alrighty, so Hugh Jackman and Miley Cyrus are going to be in some craptastic movie together.  It's a really original plot.  She plays a spoiled heiress and he's the bodyguard hired to protect her at all cost.  Yeah, that's it. Hasn't this already been done?  It's like The Bodyguard without the sex.  Dear God, I hope without the sex.  Didn't the Olsen twins do this storyline in one of their many straight-to-DVD efforts?  And the most pressing question of all:  How did Hugh Jackman fa...

Penance

Now see?  This is what I like to see.  Rob Van Winkle, or Vanilla Ice, apologizing for the fuckery he spewed all over the pop culture of 1990.  I graduated high school the same year, let me do the math for you-I'm 37 this year, and this horrible Queen/David Bowie rip-off will forever be intrinsically tied to my every memory of acid wash and prom.  Sadly, he did not apologize for having striped eyebrows or for beating the shit out of his wife.  Oh well.  Baby steps; I'm working on forgiven...

PETA Hates Hairy-Kate and Trashley

Per usual, the PETA kids were on hand to protest the Olsen twins' signing of their new book, Influence, in LA last night. "The Olsen twins support an industry that forces animals to live in tiny wire cages their entire lives and electrocutes and kills them for vanity," PETA rep Ashley Byrne said. In addition to wearing fur and animal skins, says PETA, the twins also use both materials in their fashion line, The Row. What do you guys think? Do MK and Ash have a responsibility to go all vegan in their fashion line and in their personal style choices?...

But Did She Go Down on You In a Theater???

Interviewers never ask the right questions. Some jackass from the Calgary Herald actually got Dave Coulier talking about his relationship with Alanis Morissette -- and didn't even ask him how the oral sex in the movie theater was! That's the only thing people want to know! Here's what she did get out of him: Yes, Coulier dated Alanis Morissette and it looks like she talked about their breakup in her bitter song You Oughta Know. Coulier was driving when he first heard it. "I said, 'Wow, this girl is angry.' And then I said, 'O...

Fattening Up the Olsens

OK! magazine brings us this very important story, which shakes to the core our implicit trust in Starbucks baristas everywhere. Apparently an NYC barista felt the Olsen twins were way to thin, so, when they ordered their usual Grande nonfat lattes, he would secretly replace the skim milk with full-fat. The nerve! Says a close friend of the Olsens: “It’s also my worst nightmare — that and getting a huge diet fountain soda that is mistakenly regular Coke — but I can def(initely) tas...

Nine Minutes of Mary-Kate

TMZ.com is reporting that the masseuse who found Heath made four calls to Mary-Kate Olsen before calling 911. The total time elapsed between the first call and her actually calling someone who could help? Nine minutes. What. The. Fuck. WTF?? What is that? Nine minutes? Who the hell figures they'd better call someone else before emergency services? I mean that's just kooky talk. This just hammers home the point that I set out to prove when I filled in for the Beet this week: The Olsen twins are the devil. />TMZ.com is reporting that the masseuse who found Heath made four calls to Mary-Kate Olsen before calling 911. The total time elapsed between the first call and her actually calling someone who could help? Nine minutes. What. The. Fuck. WTF?? What is that? Nine minutes? Who the hell figures they'd better call someone else before emergency services? I mean that's just kooky talk. This just hammers home the point that I set out to prove when I filled in for the Beet this week: The Olsen ...

MK & Ash Party with Bob Saget and John Stamos!

mk_social1.jpg Via Page Six: IT was a "Full House" reunion at the Bowery Hotel's Lobby Bar Wednesday night, when the Olsen twins, Ashley and Mary-Kate, rolled in with their TV dad, Bob Saget, and their "Uncle Jesse," John Stamos, to drink and party till the wee hours. Ashley drank red wine and whined, "I'm hungry, I want bolognese" - until hotel staff brought her spaghetti bolognese, even though they said they had a strict policy against serving food to nonguests. Mary-Kate chatted up Stamos and watche...

Zac Efron Isn’t a Teenager Anymore :(

zac_halo1.jpg Last week was very exciting for the scrumptious High School Musical star Zac Efron, as he turned 20 years old. More importantly however, it was a tough week for me and many other people. Since our starry eyed hunk is no longer a teenager he falls on the hotness scale from about a 8.75 to a measly 6. This SUCKS. Consider the Olsen twins, no one talks about how hot these identical twins are anymore. Why, you ask? It's simple, once we all threw our countdown-to-legal calendars in the gutter, they...

Holy Crap It’s the Mowry Sisters

mowrys.jpg They got invited to an Emmy lounge. What are they even doing these days? I feel like each of them should have like 4 kids by now. Have they done anything since Sister Sister? And wasn't that like 25 years ago? Weird. See, this is how the Olsen twins would have turned out if they weren't anorexic and drug-addicted: irrelevant. So the next time you try to tell Mary-Kate to eat something, you remember this. You remember what became of those healthy, well-adjusted Mowry girls....
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