A few times a year we pick apart the dresses celebs have chosen to wear on the red carpet at either the Emmy’s, Golden Globes and of course, The Oscars. Everything is said in fun. No one here harbors ill will towards the wealthy wealthy pretty people. (that was convincing) We’re simply talking about the outfit they wore. And maybe some hair.
So read with caution.
Yvette Nicole Brown: Boom. It’s not the most interesting look, but she looks flawless in it. As a bigger girl, I really appreciate a woman with meat on her that can look this amazing under insane lights and on film. Perfect hair choice, also.
Sarah Paulson chose some sort of ill fitting fish scale covered sack. And that’s not the worst of this look. That hair is haunting. She’s a candelabra short of scaring the pee out of me. Perhaps it’s all in prep for American Horror Story. Who knows.
Priyanka Chopra …. I .. there is just soooo much happening here. Giant crystal collars, silver tassel-like detailing repeated over and over and over a feathered base, which, just happens to end in a mermaid tail. I had to look it up. It’s a Balmain dress. Which means it’s probably $10,000 or more.
Anna Chlumsky. The child actress is now on one of the best shows on tv. (Veep) And I’ll bet a lot of people will hate this dress, but I want to say a couple things. 1. For dear Anna, this fantastic. 2. The boobs look amazing and 3. I like the slinky silver bottom! Cons: Not a stitch of jewelry, (I know it’s plenty blingy, but stud earrings at least) And that hair is for picnics, not red carpet.
Julianna Ransic, another one whose look I tend to dislike, so I’m willing to ignore the tinker bell sleeves. The rest of it I’m perfectly happy with. Who doesn’t like tulle?
Stranger Things! Co-stars Finn Wolfhard, Noah Schnapp, Gaten Matarazzo and Caleb McLaughlin look like a happening night in Paris. The style! And all different! Look at my man on the far right, Caleb. I’m tempted to hand him a brandy.
Amanda Crew is on Silicone Valley. I didn’t even recognize her. Her dress is couture, by Michael Cinco and it will no doubt fall on many worst lists. I mostly love it. She fits it, the ombre is always in fashion and the sparkle isn’t overwhelming, despite the abundance of it. Still, it might be a little tooooo see through.
Oscar de la Renta can do no wrong, so Michelle Pfeiffer was right to choose this delicate laced frock to make her rare red carpet appearance.
Ariel Winter is a champion of feminism and fights against body shaming online after being the victim of it herself. That being said, this is not about the person, it’s about that Bob Mackie inspired gladiator dress and whoever let her out of the house with it.
Debra Messing is a hot mess. Like actually looks sweaty, even rashy in places and appears to be wearing a cinched rain parka… is that a watch? Who wears a watch on the red carpet? I’m starting to feel sticky just looking at her.
Jane Krakowski looks AMAZING INCREDIBLE! That dress is clean, sleek and sexy. I am like guhh… drool.
I know Issa Rae is the it girl and her show, Insecure, is the hot ticket and all, but this dress… It looks cheap, it’s too big, the sleeves don’t balance or compliment one another and that sweet smile aside, the braided buns a bore.
Heidi Klum … I need you to know I chose the better of the angles from the photo options. But thank you, Heidi, for clearly coming on short notice. Appears to have gotten the call while on the beach and made it to the show in 15 mins.
Jessica Biel’s Ralph & Russo dress is gorgeous coming and going so I had to pick a view. I stand by it. This is the kind of thing you see in mythological films.
Tessa Thompson’s dress actually ended up on a few “worst dressed” lists, which is insane to me. Are you afraid of fun?? This Rosie Assoulin dress is a color packed, shimmering piece of art.
Laverne Cox… I don’t like the dress, but it’s Laverne. Bitch is fierce wrapped in a towel.
13 Reasons Why star Ajiona Alexus … where do you get that palpable sense of confidence?!?! Maybe it’s the face like Gabrielle Union and arms like Kelly Ripa? And just in case you land on a worst dress list, b/c there are some who just don’t get it, know that here you’re a fashion star. Even with that crazy looking button crotch thing.
Padma Lakshmi, much like Heidi Klum, looked like she ran to the event. And in Lakshmi’s case, she then borrowed this number from a nearby parade.
Millie Bobby Brown is a show stopper everywhere she goes because she’s adorable and all pint sizey. But here, in this perfection of a Calvin Klein gown, she looks like a beautiful ballerina.
Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy… Felic looks wonderful. She’s one of those timeless beauties. And the dress is lovely, although it doesn’t move me especially.
Kiernan Shipka, who I formally adopted in the 2nd season of Mad Men, is wearing a delicate Miu Miu dress that makes her look like the angel she is.
Sophia Vergara wears this dress every year. It’s brilliant, really. She just send it out to the cleaners to be dyed another color and wham! New dress. She always looks great, but I’m over it. And that hairs not suitable for the wait staff, let alone the talent.
Ru Paul: GET IT!
Pant suits always get noticed on the carpet as they’re the minority attire. But I think Evan Rachel Woods Moshino suit is worth the second look. The layers give it so much depth and gives plain white tons of texture.
Jane Fonda is running away with everything. There’s no catching up to her, not even for time. 79 years old. And unlike most of us, fuschia looks good in her.
Thank god Leslie Jones tweeted a couple years back that she can’t find any designers to dress her and Christian Siriano, a fan of Jones, immediately grabbed the chance and dresses her for everything now. Look at that beaming smile.
Reece Witherspoon… I’m just not feeling it. You look great in it, but its more a business meeting attire than a red carpet. And you were nominated!! For shame.
Ugh. This princess is Yara Shahidi, the eldest daughter on Blackish. She’s a designers dream because that soft youthful brown skin is flawless and she looks amazing. The dress is custom Prada.
Nicole Kidman is generally a shoe in for one of my top places on red carpet looks. Her porcelin skin and Disney queen cheek bones. And while I don’t hate this Calvin Klein number she wore, it’s rather meh. Super meh.
Your first reaction may be to dislike Pamela Adlon’s tux jacket and skinny jeans look, but it really does suit her. I hate to make anyone dress out of their comfort zone for silly awards. But it goes on the bottom of my list.
Jessica Lange is eeeassssily on the top of my list in this amazing velvet and applique Gucci dress. It really needs a mature person to wear it and it hugs well and looks amazing.
Those who know me know that Tracee Ellis is a core member of my fame squad. (famous people I just know I’d be good friends with) That said… oh mother of dragons, what is going on here!!!!!?!??? The belt, the feathers, the bigness of the glittering top… it’s a sight to behold, for sure.
Zoe Kravitz is wearing one of the few dresses to come out of Dior in the last couple years that I actually liked. Colorful and fun like a young girl should wear.
Winner? Hands down Tessa Thompson in Rosie Assoulin. I absolutely love it. I want it.