Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Here’s Your First ’50 Shades of Grey’ Poster

50 shades

Hope you’re all getting moist in your nether regions for the upcoming watered-down 50 Shades of Grey movie that will not contain any of the explicit sex scenes that the entire book is based on! It’s gonna be GREAT! Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson have “chemistry” which they’ll totally put on show for you via a lot of lip biting and some sultry looks before the camera cuts when panties start dropping. I’m sure it’ll be everything that people who actually like that shite were hoping for.

In any case, we’ve got our first look at the poster for the film – which isn’t even due out until 2015, I might add. That seems like a bizarrely far away release date for a franchise whose popularity is already past its prime, right? Ah, whatever. I’m sure plenty of people will go to see “real passion” and the “moving storyline”.

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  • Oh shnap, WET PANTIES E’RRYWHERRRRE! Splish splash, y’all! I was about to bag on what opening night will be like & that I wouldn’t touch it with a 10 foot pole (heh!), but fuck it, I might go for the insane people watching. Always regretted not doing so when Magic Mike came out…