Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jeff Goldblum Gets Handsy on Conan

Conan O’Brien makes the mistake of asking guest Jeff Goldblum what he thinks of the newish studio. “It feels fantastic,” Goldblum replies, clutching at air.

“I’m trying to drink it all in!” Goldblum says. Then he feels the desk, touches the leather, admires the flowers (“Real flowers? Orange! The guru’s color”).

“You’re such a strange man,” Conan finally blurts. “You’re very tactile.”

No, I don’t know why I’ve been so into Conan lately. But it probably has to do with all that envelope-pushing.

I do sure love me some Jeff Goldblum, though. I very briefly dated a fellow who was a lot like Jeff Goldblum, what with the childlike wonderment and all the grappling, and at the time it drove me insane. Insane. And now I think, what was wrong with me? Jeff Goldblum is the best!

Oh, just watch Jeff Goldblum awhile. You will be delighted. Jeff Goldblum will make your day. (And then watch this, which is my favorite Jeff Goldblum video. And then maybe print one of these out.)