Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Scarlett Johansson’s Nude Pic Scandal?!

A photograph of Avenger Scarlett Johansson on August 20

I’m shocked! Seriously, celebrities, what kind of cell phones are you using? These photos are awful!

I think I know how this nude pic leak happened: Scarlett Johansson abandoned her Blackberry in a dumpster because its camera was terrible. Then a dumpster-diver happened to notice the abandoned phone, and he was like, “Boy, these photos are really grainy and washed-out. Hey! Is this Scarlett Johansson’s phone? Because that looks like her butt, in flagrante delicto.” (If you don’t speak Latin, that’s “her butt, ‘on delicious fire’.”)

We live in a techno-skeptical era, so you’re probably wondering whether these naked pics are legit. I’ll tell you, I have no idea. It sure looks like the girl, more than those leaked Blake Lively photos looked like Blake Lively. And in the second photo—if you aren’t too distracted by her derrière—you can just make out the tattoo on her forearm. The whole thing is admittedly suspicious, though. I thought Miss Johansson’s bosom might be a little more… heaving.

UPDATE: Well, they’re probably real, given that the FBI is now involved. Wow!

This here is a classy operation, so—as always—the NSFW candids are hidden after the break.

5 CommentsLeave a comment