Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Hey Everybody, My Boyfriend, Zach Galifianakis, Is The Cover Boy for GQ!

A photo of Zach Galifianakis on the cover of GQ

Oh, you’re trying to tell me that Zach Galifianakis isn’t really my boyfriend, that I’m just some weird pathetic girl with shitty taste in dudes?  Well, then I’m trying to tell you that it’s early as fuck, and I don’t need to adhere to your lame ass reality. Are we understood?  Then let’s move on.

Zach is his usual, glorious self for May’s issue of GQ.  He’s promoting The Hangover 2, which we should all be excited about, and he’s also bringing such special light into this dark and dismal world. Celebitchy has an excerpt from his interview, a delightful little fill-in-the-blank affair.  The bits in caps are Zach’s responses:

Personally, I think Sarah Palin is MARKETABLE and I would like to BUY her.

I also got to meet KERMIT THE FROG. He was a much bigger FROG that you’d expect. The biggest downside was he is CONDESCENDING IN REAL LIFE.

We shot [The Hangover II] in Thailand which is fun because there you can GET INTO FIGHTS WITH PACKS OF STRAY DOGS.

People should know that global warming is caused by RUSH LIMBAUGH‘S FARTS. So our response should be to mandate that HE LIVE IN A SUBMARINE OFF THE COAST OF FLORIDA.

I would be a very good dad, the kind where people would say, “That’s Zach Junior; his dad is the one who SPANKS ALL THE CHILDREN BUT HIS OWN.”

GQ is being way stingy and demanding that you buy their magazine to read the entire article (ugh, right?), which I’ll probably have to do.  I mean, what kind of girlfriend would I be otherwise?

Images courtesy of Celebitchy and GQ