Uh, Happy Birthday, Frances Bean Cobain.

The offspring of Courtney Love and the deceased Kurt Cobain turned eighteen Wednesday morning (and Happy Birthday, to you girl) and special mommy Courtney had a lot to say about her only child’s birthday via — what else (OK, aside from her ‘blog’) — Twitter! There’s a whole slew of amazing gems on there, but I’m going to handpick the best of the bunch:

beyond the obviopus heartache why are you trying to desperatly to ruin my life and reputation? what is it did you decide to be linda?

youve done a dammed good job frances of destroying anything i could build that is positive, and i want to know why now that your of age.

i ahve this palaver has cost youy my dear over 4 million in legal bills. and none of it wa snecessary, demand not just wylldes butt eState

just come home,. it took a year but i got the sickest townhouse in the village, theres 4 floors, just come home, i pray to god snap out ofit

so how could she do it to me, ? dont answer fiddle you need to answer use the family wizard, i took the high road, i rasised you well and im so sorry i couldnt protect you from lairds greed and need to f-ck with you daqrlingyou oinbly get 37% Of in utero

NO LAWYERS!I LOVE YOU@!

im sure her dog., everyone else has a f-cking agenda , that chantel if i see her shes a goner thats for dammed sure. grosspig?poisonkids

i shouldve hooked up in some loveless marriage to a powerful hedgefund guy then youd be safe, im sorry i didnt. for your sake.i love you.

So, yeah. If you understood any of this really, you deserve an honorary degree from the University of your choice, complete with fancy tassled mortarboard and robes. Or a lifetime supply of Lithium. I’m going with the latter.

And cripes, Frances is eighteen? Meaning daddy Kurt’s been dead for sixteen years? I am getting old. I mean, I remember this shit. Vividly. I didn’t care too much, but I remember the world — and my classmates — in mourning.

Sheesh on all of it.