Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Top Three Reasons Why Jonathan Rhys Meyers Is Too Hot For Alcoholism

A photo of Jonathan Rhys Meyers at a press conference for The Tudors

It’s back to rehab for Jonathan Rhys Meyers.  This trip, which was brought on by his girlfriend telling him to stop drinking or stop talking to her, will be his fourth time in treatment.  I know alcoholism is a serious problem, but I also know you’re not likely to get better if you’re doing it for someone else, so I’ve compiled a list of reasons why Jonathan Rhys Meyers is too hot for alcoholism, and hopefully he can sense the energy of what I’m trying to do and come to love himself because of it.

  1. He’s Irish.  Everyone knows that Irish guys are just hotter than guys of other nationalities.  And sure, Irish people have a stereotype for loving booze, but that’s just a stereotype, you don’t have to buy into it.  The country you were born and raised in has given you an automatic hotness advantage, Jonathan, so you just focus on that.
  2. Have you even seen The Tudors? Come on.  Historical facts and sex scenes aside, any man who can rock those beautiful costumes as well as he does is far too hot for alcoholism.  And all those layers of heavy fabric will make you heat up real quick, and the kind of warm that liquor makes you feel added on to that?  Not pleasant.  Don’t do that to yourself, Jonathan.
  3. August Rush.  What a beautiful tale of music and song and love.  If you can do things like this and this, why would you even bother drinking?  Just use all your bountiful talent to brighten the lives of the people who have this faith in you. Like me, Jonathan.  Just like me.

18 CommentsLeave a comment

  • None of this helps as he’s depressed and hating his metro-male lifestyle.. Be a man. build a barbeque patio, grill some steak and eat with friends and target some hoops, fish and barbque it.. blow up or tear down a building you hate and remodel it.

  • That’s the problem. People always telling him how good looking, talented he is. Somebody needs to tell him like it really is. Stop acting like a piece of trash and have some pride in yourself no matter who you are.

    Good looks and talent mean nothing if your head is up your ass.

    • WELL SAID…… I’ve heard some very unflattering things about this guy. It’s amazing how alchol tends to bring out someone’s true colors.

  • I think the Irish have it hands down. Meyers, Cillian Murphy, Liam Neeson, Colin Farrell (even if he’s kinda dirty), Pierce Brosnan, Stuart Townsend, and Gabriel Byrne vs Samuli Edelmann, Mikko Leppilampi, Iikka Villi.

    • Probably so. I know something is obviously not working for him.

      He needs some serious re-wiring cause he’s fallen off a cliff.

  • You are so right. God knows what’s going on with Jonathan at the minute. He’s clearly in a real mess. I really hope he sorts himself out, because he is so gorgeous and talented it would be a shame to waste such potential.

    Irish men are the hottest indeed! JRM, Cillian Murphy, Stuart Townsend, Aiden Turner, wow. Oh and Robert Sheehan, he’s the new one to watch.

  • i do agree with you. Jonathan is too great for alcoholism. but i believe that he’ll be better then.

  • Guess what happens when you can’t hold your liquor, you say stupid things and you do stupid things, and you end up in front of a judge who isn’t amused……

  • I hate that he said the n-word to the airline personnel. That says a lot about a person.