Today's Evil Beet Gossip


Damn. Justin Bieber is stealing hearts all over the world. You know, in addition to my vagina. Because we have sex all the time. Me and Justin Bieber. We do it. Constantly. He’s like, addicted to me. At first I was like, “Damn, I can’t believe that you like me, Bieber”, but then I realized that I have so many things to offer him that your average 15 year old ho can’t.  ANYWAY! My fuck buddy’s performing on Saturday Night Live tonight.

Honestly, I have no idea what this kid does except he’s 1) a YouTube star of some sort, 2) the tweens are all about him, 3) he’s got mad shaggy hair. Check out his promo for SNL with tonight’s host Tina Fey. I’ll be tuning in just to find out exactly what this boy is all about. You know, outside of the bedroom.

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  • I guarantee at least a couple of people will be outraged/feign outrage, but this is actually kinda hilarious, Molls. And this is sort of off-topic, but a couple of weeks ago when people were posting comments on Beet’s new editor post about how you were awful, I was surprised. You’re by far my favorite of all the current and previous writers on this site! Molls, you are crazy funny.

  • The Biebster bugs me. I hate his helmet head hair flick in interviews, and what is his accent-Canadian ghetto?

    He always tosses out sexual innuendos to the female stars and media personalities he is working with. Chelsea Handler totally owned him when she had him on Chelsea Lately. She told him that he was getting old enough where he was gonna have to back up his words with actions. Left him speechless. Gosh I love her.

  • Omg you actualy fucked bieber god he has a dick holy shit god I feel bad for you and please were a fucking Trojan you know a condom so I don’t have to worry about any more little biebers running around

      • Agreed. It is just creepy when adults sexualize children. I realize Molls is being sarcastic, so not really directing this at her, but at all the media surrounding this kid at the moment. Ew.

  • By far the best thing I’ve ever read when little helmet-hair was the topic. Kudos Molls!
    Also – he is CLEARLY a member of the Osmond family! Think about it, look at a picture of him, and it is SO CLEAR.

  • Am I the only one who wants to slap the cheesy smile off the Bieber’s face? Not that I would because child abuse is bad. Also, I love how he totally buys into his hype. Chelsea sure shut him up lol!

    • u ant slappen nobudy bic!!!! chelsea ant shutin nobudy up hore lololohaha!!!!!!!!!