Charlie Sheen — who’s been in rehab for the past two weeks for alcoholism and cocaine use — will be leaving March 19 to resume taping Two and a Half Men. I know we’re supposed to be all up in arms about this, like, “HE NEEDS TO STAY IN REHAB LONGER!!” but, by March 19, he’ll have done nearly the standard 30 days, which is more than I can say for his wife. Brooke Mueller left two separate rehab facilities to be “treated” for her alcoholism at home. Because clinging to the belief that you’re different and better than everyone else is a surefire sign that you’re ready to recover from your addiction. Seriously. It’s on the wall at AA meetings. “Step 1: You don’t have to do this the same way as everybody else because God loves you extra.” Sheesh.
Plus, there’s a lot riding on Charlie Sheen showing up to tape this show. While he may be set for life financially, you better believe the camera men and the props guys and the set designers and the makeup people are still counting on this show for a paycheck. He’d be fucking a lot of people over by delaying production another month. So I get why he’s doing this.
Charlie also has a March 15 date at Pitkin County Court in Colorado in connection with the domestic violence incident that led to his arrest on Christmas. He’s facing one felony and two misdemeanor charges regarding the incident when he allegedly held a knife to Brooke’s throat and threatened to kill her. The Chief Deputy Attorney has said he will turn down any plea deal that does not involve a felony. Charlie may well be doing some jail time — so he better get as many of those episodes in the can before he’s in one himself.