The episode opens in reverse: The girls return from their Santa Barbara trip and call attention to their plethora of bruises…we the viewers are lost. What caused these bruises? Where is everyone? Who am I? Before we can answer…it starts back at the beginning. Thanks Oxygen for going all Tarantino on us.
Flo’s gone and Kate returns from the hospital, apparently de-swined. They rip Flo’s picture off the wall and rejoice by throwing it in the pool, as Amber says “to metaphorically drown her”…I think she was trying to make a clever allusion to her and Flo’s epic pool fight…I think.
Natalie wants to have fun with her little “monster” and takes Kendra to get a new weave…a $500 weave. When Natalie plays with her toys, I guess she goes big or goes home. Wait. This doll paid for it herself. Best toy EVER! Kendra claims she’s fully aware of Natalie’s presumed intentions and “won’t be played!” Yet, she does absolutely nothing about it.
With new hair in TOE…hahaha, Natalie and Kendra invite some new man-meat over to devour. But for once the girls’ conversations with the aforementioned man-meat is not gold-digging, or booty-gettin’, but almost more in the tone of yearning for a soul-mate. What an appropriate follow-up to Valentine’s day.
The next day the girls decide to get away and get a fresh Flo-less start! They book a Santa Barbara get-away. Meanwhile, Annie’s patience with Kate is growing thin and we wonder what will be the straw that broke the camel’s back. Amber drops Rich off at the airport and although saddened, the girls get ready for their trip…did I mention that Annie and Kate are sick and will be home, together?!
Within a few minutes of arriving in Santa Barbara, the girls are already making a scene. They pass out sex toys to elderly couples and start downing the tequila, the right proper way in giant sombreros…our girls are oh so fashionable! Back at the house…Annie lists all the things she hates about Kate: everything. When Annie asks Kate to clean her own dishes, and Kate responds just as I’d assume a hot girl who’s never had to clean up after herself would: she says that Annie obviously needs to grow up and that she’s a giant nerd. Very mature and reasonable Kate. I hope you find a husband fast because I don’t see how you’ll make it much longer on your own…wow, this first week of being single is ROUGH!
Back in SB, many shots and innocent bags of confetti later, Kendra and Natalie start fighting over the existential questions that plague all our lives, no? Oh wait, the fight is over a makeup brush….that’s right. My bad. They decide to solve their problems by migrating to another bar. Natalie’s getting ridiculous and after being denied admittance, is soon written up for open alcohol container by to PO-lice! And true to herself, she mouths off just the same to “the man” serving up ample scoops of rude and condescending. Kendra, I mean, Druuuunk-ass Kendra, tries to intervene but actually makes things worse and almost gets arrested! Somehow they’re not taken to the slammer and the two get away with just a ticket. Kendra believing she’s saved Natalie’s ass becomes enraged when Natalie doesn’t immediately kiss her ass. So what does Kendra do to stand her ground?! Refuse to hold Natalie’s purse, ooooooh burn! The ultimate girl betrayal.
They move on to yet another club…of course, where after a few more drinks the animosity escalates from verbal to physical in true BG fashion! Amber and Lexie somehow miraculously separate the two and Amber and Lexie chase after Kendra to console her. They find her hunched behind a Dumpster and quickly realize she’s too far gone. Natalie appears in a puff of smoke and…we’ve come full circle. But this time, the fight is vicious! Apparently an open air, outdoor fight allows for a great deal more movement, and thus more bitch-slap span. Which in BG math = maximum damage, far greater than anything ever possible within the confines of a limo. Consider this fight the heavy-weight Fake girl fight of the season! Some rando’s (read: random dudes) intervene and attempt to tear the girls’ off each other…are these guys the crew? It remains unclear. Amber, Lexie and Kendra get in the car and drive all the way home to LA…without Natalie.
Back at the house, the girls fear what will happen if Natalie finds her way back to the house. Kendra decides to think it over by curling up into a ball in the shower. And we the viewers are left in awe, fear, and trepidation. Will Natalie return? Whose car did she just get into? Can Annie and Kate finally duke it out? Aww my sweet BG lovers, you will just have to wait until next week!
this show sucks…wish it would go away and never come back
Stop writing about this stupid show. WE DON”T CARE
FUCK the BGC haters below… Keep the recaps coming! I missed the show last night, & you just caught me up on ALLL the drama. Thanks!
I’ve never watched this show and still laugh at the narrative here. Keep up the good work!
Beet gotta eat. Let it slide.
THIS SHOW IS SO BORING
I believe Natalie is gone (thank god) because two new girls show up to the house. That whole “I Run L.A.” bullshit got old really fast.
Love this show, and love the updates! I don’t think they are getting new roommates – it was the two Ambers from last season. They are probably just visiting. I do hope that Natalie is gone, though I don’t see how it can be so drama-filled without her!
I can’t stop watching this train wreck of a show. God help me.
I sincerely hope Natalie is going far, far away. Like Siberia far away. I don’t get this chick at all. She thinks she is the greatest thing since sliced bread and I look at her and see horrible skin(if she runs L.A. and apparently has all this disposable income,perhaps she could visit a dermatologist?maybe she can get Gabe Pruitt or Marcus Paulk to pay for it)a huge chin and an ugly face. I guess being friends with D List celebrities gives you some kind of leverage in the Bad Girl House.
I still don’t get that silly fight between her and Kendra. A makeup brush?really?if you are going to bitch slap someone,at least do it for a worthy reason.
I laughed when Kate’s boyfriend dumped her. I also laughed when Kate announced that her friend was in Playboy. Hef must be getting senile.Kate is a moron. Paul seemed like a good guy.
HATED the baby talk Amber spewed at her boyfriend. SHUT UP.
I can’t believe I am actually looking forward to more episodes. Does anyone know how many are left?
who the heck is skipabeet?
did eb change her name?
i think kendra needs some one like my girl natalie cause that hoe cant get a rich man shes a easy hoe oh by the way did kate go to jail? i fucked most of the girls their
who marcus calling a hoe after all the gyrls there he then fucked he bein’ a player but he makin’ kendra, amber, lexi feel like sluts and dats aint right but he nasty enough 2 do it wit annie, flo ?! marcus iz so dam cute hes a cutie but i know he mama taught him better than dat but i like the show but flo thinks she a gansta bitch but dat trap aint with her foolish lookin’ azz and kate wit her traphline azz always sleepin’ shes so lazy wit her rascim self dont like black people who ever heard of dat diz aint the late 1920’s so she fuckin out of luck and kendra,lexi,amber cool folks they dont trip but kate and flo are somes gelous azz bitchez dat want 2 be like some of the gyrls in the damn house kendra honey need 2 learn how 2 deffine her damn self in fightin’ dats a damn shame now dats all i have 2 fuckin’ say!