Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Breaking My Heidi Montag Ban for a Minute to Talk Shit About Her

Granted, other writers on this blog have broken the Speidi ban in recent months. I have held fast to it. However, I am breaking it temporarily, because this shit is insane.

And I’m not even talking about the plastic surgery. Oddly enough, I’m like the one person on the planet who actually backs Heidi on this. It’s her body, and she’s an adult woman, and she has every right to do whatever the hell she wants to it. I don’t even think she looks all that bad. Let’s be honest here: it’s a giant improvement over how she looked a few years back, when she first hit the Hollywood scene as an average-looking LC sidekick. I’d want plastic surgery, too, if I had to be videotaped sitting next to Lauren Conrad’s naturally flawless face every single day. She looks a lot better now than she did back then. Granted, she looks like a completely different person, but it’s a prettier person now, at least on the outside.

What upsets me is Heidi’s complete and total delusion about who she is and the message she’s sending. She looks this television reporter straight in the face and says that the message she’s sending to young girls is that beauty is on the inside. The reporter, bless her heart, is all like, “Ummm, that’s completely and totally not the message you’re sending” and Heidi is all like, “Well, yes it is. That’s definitely the message that’s coming out of my mouth. It’s just not the message I’m conveying with my actions — no, not at all. But that’s okay because I’m famous and the young girls who look up to me aren’t. They should understand the difference. Teenage girls traditionally respond well to mixed messages.”

And then — AND THEN — the reporter asks her to sing. And Heidi gets frantic and is all like “Noooo I’m saving my music for my album.” And then the reporter — whom I now LOVE — is all like, “You don’t have to sing something from your album. Just sing anything.” And then Heidi is all like, “Uhhhh, my jaw hasn’t really healed yet.” And then I laugh until I die.

Oh and bee-tee-dubs, you guys, Heidi’s album sold less than 1000 copies in its first week. That’s, like, unfathomably bad. I think Ayla Brown’s album did better, even before her Playgirl father stole Kennedy’s Senate seat (but not before sending me a stern email for talking shit about his daughter).

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  • I don’t hate Heidi all that much. I despise Spencer and I think that she is an idiot but I can’t bring myself to hate her, I kind of think that she really believes what she is saying and what she is doing and that is kind of sad.

    She looked so much better before these new surgeries. She now looks like a 50 year old who is desperately trying to cling to her youth rather than a 20 something year old. That surgeon needs a good punch in the face for agreeing to do this to her.

    The other thing that crosses my mind? LC has left The Hills, Speidi must have known the shows ratings would suffer for that. Is this all just a ploy to get more attention and stay in the fame game for a little bit longer? Keep themselves relevant? Is this written in their book about how to get famous?

  • Um, how was Kennedy’s seat stolen? Just because he sat and festered in the senate for 47 years does not make that seat his, or someone that his family endorses. Oh, that broad looks like a plastic doll.

  • the only thing that really freaks me out, is the botox in her forehead.
    you can’t see any feelings in her face, which is the saddest thing about it.

  • Where to start with this post? I’ll go straight to your Scott Brown insults. First, he wasn’t in Playgirl. He was in Cosmo. IN 1982. Twenty-eight years ago!!! I believe it was 41 years ago that Ted Kennedy left the scene of an accident and dead Mary Jo Kopechne only to call the police the next morning to report the accident. Hm. If you can bring up incredibly old news, so can I.

    Second, the seat was not “stolen.” If my memory serves me correctly, the people of Massachusetts ELECTED Scott Brown. And I’m not going to go into the whole “it’s not Ted Kennedy’s seat,” because we’ve heard all about that already.

    Third, Brown’s email to you was in no way rude or condescending. It was a Dad standing up for his daughter. A little over the top? Probably, but not hurtful.

    I really enjoy this blog, but it’s getting to a point where I roll my eyes because of all the political bias and snark more than I laugh. Your other writer, Sarah, on Zelda, at least has the integrity to write without lashing out at those who disagree with her politically.

    Ok, that’s all. Have a great day!

  • OMG! she looks so freaky now!! I used to not like her but could still admit she was at least pretty but now?? no way she looks disgusting!! and she looks like she’s 35. she is going to be a scary person when she is 30. its so sad, but she did this to herself.

  • How could you think she possibly looks better now? She looks like a fem-bot.

    I’m liberal like you, Beet, but at least I know that a political seat doesn’t belong to anyone, but the people.

  • I was looking at these pics the other day with my fabulously gay hairdresser. We both agreed that she looks like a tranny. So sad- she was pretty back in the day. Now, she’s just desperate.

  • Looking at the clips of her before, she had so much life and expression in her face. Now she just looks robotic and plastic … It’s really sad, actually.

  • I think it’s an odd thing with people… Suddenly she was beautiful and full of life and should never have had surgery because she was gorgeous before etc. etc. Before her surgery, people often called her “horse-face” or said she was too plain looking or uglier than LC. It’s a similar phenomenon to when someone dies. All of a sudden they are sainted even though the week before people had money on them in the celebrity death pool. Weird. That said, I can see how she might be happy with the changes but I think she doesn’t look like her anymore and it looks too generic. Meh.

    • Personally I don’t think that Lauren Conrad is all that pretty.And maybe Heidi did have a bit of a horse face,but at least she could emote with that horse face,and it was natural-looking.She now looks like a character out of a horror movie or a literal remake of ‘Valley of the dolls’.

      Let’s just say,I wouldn’t want to see her face in a dark alley,EVER.

  • How doped up was she in all those interviews? Could it not be that all that plastic surgery is just another desperate attempt for publicity? Very sad.

  • I think it looks awful. But maybe it will go down a bit; that swelling takes a while to go away. It will still look creepy, but maybe not AS bad. Botox also goes away after a number of months, although I fear she will continue to get it and look surprised for the rest of her life. This is definitely the beginning of a cycle.

    …and the part where she’s basically defining ‘addiction’ to the interviewer… classic.

  • I am 41 years-old and she looks older than I do and I haven’t had any plastic surgery. Can we say future Joan Rivers?!?

  • um, i really don’t think she looked all that bad when she was the sidekick to LC…her face had character and now it looks all plastic and hollywood. like, go ahead and get a nose job, but to transform your face to the extent that you don’t even look like your old self at all? that is crazy and so unfortunate. and she’s 23.

  • She looks good… fake as hell, I can’t listen to her talk, I don’t know how I’d be able to listen to her sing; damn and hopefully Spencer is taking a behind the scenes approach to her new famewhoredom.

    And God Bless Senator Brown; shows America is waking up, slick, empty words are not gonna fix this country.His daughter is better looking than Heidi and can put sentences together and doesn’t give me the gag reflex that Heidi does.

  • i’m kind of with beet on this, in terms of the physicality of it: a competent adult should be able to do what they like with their body. that said, the part where she said she’s disappointed in her DDD boobs because she “wanted to go to H, for heidi” makes me question her ability to competently approach the situation.

  • I don’t even feel the need to make of or insult her. She spent $2 mill on surgery and $30k on an album that won’t even put the Christian Louboutins on her feet.

    Talk about a horrible ROI!

    And how about those Hills ratings?

  • The reason the Douche dumped Perez was all the politics. If you want to put it on monster or zelda fine. This is a gossip site that should be fun not political. Keep politics off the Beet.

  • OMG Beet – I couldn’t agree more! This chick can do what she likes w/ her body but someone PLEASE shut her up!

    Oh – LOVED how you threw in the Alya/Scott Brown dig!

  • typical self-delusional crap coming out of her mouth.

    And yes, it’s a person’s choice to do what they want with his/her body, but Heidi’s reasoning and logic not only do not convince me, but they are heart-breakingly warped. Clearly she’s dealing with emotional/psychological issues and she chose to change her looks instead of changing her outlook.

    Being famous, she has an influence on society, whether people like it or not, which makes it a lot more problematic than if she wasn’t in the self-imposed spotlight.

  • I just feel so bad for her… so, so bad! she’s gone so far off the deep end!
    i agree with you that she’s a grown woman and can do what she wants with her body… but how sad is it that she wants to do this? to put herself through all that… for what? it’s like a perfect portrait of what’s wrong with society.

  • I feel very sad for her. The interview made me feel really uncomfortable. Her face barely moves anymore and she looks like she’s much older than she actually is. So sad.

  • I really think it’s disturbing that she looks like wax and has clearly had Botox as well. It’s totally her decision but my opinion is that it’s creepy.

  • Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a chronic mental illness where someone is fixated on a presumed flaw in their physical appearance. It is also known as dysmorphophobia. To the person with BDD, their appearance seems so bad that they become extremely distressed over their imagined ugliness and don’t want to be seen by anyone.

    When a person has body dysmorphic disorder they obsessively worry over their appearance and body image, sometimes staring at themselves in the mirror hours at a time. They also seek out using cosmetic surgery, sometimes excessively, to try to fix any perceived flaws but are rarely ever satisfied with their new appearance.

    There are many symptoms to BDD which include the following:

    * Fixated on your physical appearance
    * A belief that you have an abnormality or defect in your physical appearance.
    * You believe yourself to be ugly.
    * Constant self-examining in the mirror or avoiding looking in the mirror altogether
    * Feeling that others negatively take specific notice to your appearance
    * Constant cosmetic procedures without any satisfaction
    * Constant grooming
    * Insecurity and self-conscious of themselves
    * Not wanting their picture taken
    * Continual picking of the skin
    * Continual comparing of appearance with others
    * Avoiding social engagements
    * Wearing too much makeup or using clothes to cover up perceived flaws

    Some of the body parts that BDD sufferers obsess about include:

    * Skin
    * Nose
    * Hair
    * Skin Blemishes
    * Baldness
    * Breasts
    * Genitalia

    When a person feels embarrassed or shame about their appearance it may be a good time to seek treatment for BDD. Mental health providers and health professionals are available to help with this condition. BDD rarely gets better by itself, and as people age their perceived ugliness only gets worse. If left untreated it could lead to suicidal thoughts and behavior.

    • I do feel that any 23 year old woman — who has not been horribly disfigured — getting this much plastic surgery at once is probably indicative of some psychological issues. The writers on this blog are quick to point out possible cases of anorexia (Rachel Zoe) or self-harming (Lindsay Lohan) and urge those people to get help. For you not to even mention body dysmorphic disorder shows a kind of disturbing world view. Why is this okay, when the other two are not? Because it cost a lot of money? Because it happened in a clinic? Because she’s giving interviews about it? Even the interview, which you criticize, shows she’s confused about her actions and motivations. If you’re getting that much plastic surgery, you’d better be damn sure about why you want it.

  • well I think I`m the second person in the world who likes her new look.I see her beautiful now…IDK why but I think she looked like a FKNG horse before the surgeries,and now u I liker her.Come on guys be serious..if you didn`t knew about the surgeries ,would you still think that she`s ugly???? (srry 4 my english I`m Romanian )

  • She looks like she was going for a cross between Holly Madison and one of those realistic looking sex dolls. She still looks good though.

  • Heidi may be a “grown woman who can do what she wants” but she’s also a married woman who openly admitted that her husband begged her not to get any more surgery. While I’m all for being individualistic, it seems wrong to blatantly ignore what he thinks since he’s the one stuck looking at her for the next 60 years (assuming they stay together).

    Oh by the way, is it really okay to condone something that could definitely be spiraling into body dysmorphic disorder? Would we ever agree that an eating disorder is okay simply because it’s “their body, their choice”? People shouldn’t be pretending that this warped sense of reality is anything less than a very dangerous psychological health issue.

  • kudos to ol spence for actually being a good husband and person by suggesting heidi go to a therapist before she underwent her ten procedures.

  • Wait…how on earth could you possibly think she looks better now then she did in the beginning of her reality TV “career”? I don’t like her or her husband what so ever, and the fact that she says these absurdly ridiculous, and obviously thought out, remarks (like how her album will be as big of a hit as Thriller) in order to get attention is pretty pathetic to me, I have to kind of feel sorry for the girl. Yeah she is a grown woman who can make her own decisions about her body and looks, but wasn’t it the gossip blogs (ahem) that were bashing her looks to begin with? I’m pretty sure that might have had a little to do with her self image problem. Not all celebrities ignore tabloids and blogs and some do get affected by it (especially psudo celebs like her). In my opinion I think she was a very pretty girl before all the surgeries. Her nose and chin may have been big by “Hollywood” standards, but she was still much prettier then most of the bloggers bashing her.
    Right now she does look like a Trans gendered man who just spent a lot of money on plastic surgery to appear more feminine. She looks like fucking Frankenstein for god’s sake, and about 20 years older! It baffles me that you would think she looks good at all. Then again if you think Lauren Conrad is flawless I question your taste. Her mustache puts my Papaw’s to shame.

  • Yes, she’s a grown woman who is entitled to make her own decisions. But at the same time, she’s 23 yrs old and had all these surgeries, to me (i’m 22 yrs old), thats not natural.
    and how can u sit there and say the reason u had all these surgeries is because people called u names, and in the same breath u say u had the surgeries for urself, to make urself happy.
    who has botox at 23 yrs old? I thought botox was for people with wrinkles, lines in their faces. and to make ur self look younger?
    I think when people who uses botox who are already young in the face, or has no wrinkles, it makes ur face look worse.

  • I have nothing against people who gets breasts implants. well I understand, when u are flat chested, there is so much a push up bras can
    I mean, I’m 22 yrs old and my bras size is i understand flat chested people need to get bigger breasts when they see people like me walking
    now the problem I have is, if u gonna get breasts implants, at leasts get the ones that looks natural. u cant weight 100 pounds and u get size 38DDD.
    I think heidi is a very insecure girl, she needs help. cause she’s to young to be messing up her body like that.