I’ve been living in Scottsdale, Arizona for the past month, and word on the street is that one AWOL Tiger Woods has been hiding out in nearby Wickenburg being treated for sex addiction. I’m not entirely sure how one goes about treating sex addiction, and I have a feeling that Tiger doesn’t want his “sex addiction” “treated” so much as he wants his “endorsement money” “back,” so I’m guessing he has a lot of time on his hands. I hope he is spending that time writing thank-you notes, specifically to the estate of Brittany Murphy, to the dude who punched the Jersey Shore chick, and to Charlie Sheen, who apparently pulled a fucking knife on the mother of his children during the Christmas Eve domestic dispute that landed Charlie temporarily in the slammer.
Prosecutors are still deciding whether or not to press charges, but hopefully the court of public opinion will speak loud and clear here. How many more decades are we going to spend watching this dude play an emotionally unavailable but otherwise harmless and endearing family man on television and in movies while in real life he’s physically abusing his girlfriends and spouses? How is this acceptable? I’ve been dating for ten years, and in all that time I’ve barely had a man raise his voice to me, let alone lay a hand on me or threaten me with a weapon. This is not normal behavior. This is not behavior you have to accept in order to be in a relationship with a man. Why do women put up with this? Why does society let it slide? Stop casting Charlie Sheen, Hollywood, and stop watching him, America.