Today's Evil Beet Gossip

My Lord, Is There Some Way I Can Petition the Courts to Give Courtney Love Custody of Me?


I must have this woman playing a maternal role in my life. I see her and I immediately want to get some life guidance from her. If she gives me a curfew I will abide by it; if she tells me to finish my homework, I will listen. I’m just like, “Courtney Love, please, tell me how to get some peace and joy in my life. You clearly have so much already. It radiates out from your angry, glazed-over eyes.”

Courtney appeared on the cover of Dazed & Confused magazine, because that’s the next obvious step when you’re losing custody of your only daughter as a result of your insane and endless and life-threatening drug abuse. Yup. That’s exactly how you do it, Courtney. You just keep on keepin’ on, you earth mother, you.

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