Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Should I Just Enroll Jeremy Piven in the “Sushi of the Month Club” Now?


First and foremost, I missed all you crazy kids while I was away.  I appreciate you for choosing to surf on to Evil Beet Gossip, even if it is just to let me know how much you hate me, my perspective, and my overuse of commas and ellipses.  Today just seemed like a day that I should let you know that.  So, thank you.  Would you like to know who I didn’t miss?  Jeremy Piven.  As a matter of fact, any time he drops off the radar, I do not miss him.  Ever.

Here’s the latest in the “Jeremy Piven Just Sounds Like a Royal Asshole” series:  Chris Kattan was backstage at MTV, waiting to go on Alexa Chung’s talk show to promote his IFC series Bollywood Hero — incidentally, not a good show — when he struck up conversation with Jeremy Piven.  In a move that cements my love for Chris Kattan and my disdain for Mercury Boy, he asked Jeremy if he was there to promote his Broadway play.  The Piv was not amused.


Piven, who famously dropped out of “Speed the Plow” in December, is in a legal battle with producers who believe the actor fabricated his illness in order to get out of completing his contract, and was none too happy to be reminded of the incident.

The actor sniped back irritably, “Well, what are you here to promote? Mango?” – a reference to Kattan’s swishy “Saturday Night Live” stripper character.

The actors continued to bark for a few minutes, but while Kattan thought the argument was in jest, Piven did not.

Says an insider, “After some back and forth, Jeremy said something really personal to Chris that basically attacked his career. He said ‘Whoa, man  –  I thought we were just fooling around here.'”

Not the right thing to say to the man who plays Ari Gold, apparently. “I’m getting sued for that s–t!” the actor shouted. “It’s not funny!”

Our source adds, “Jeremy slammed the green room door right in Chris’ face, and about 20 people in the hallway outside could hear him yelling obscenities. He was furious.

“Chris felt really badly about the whole thing, so about 15 minutes later he tried to approach Jeremy again to apologize, to tell him he was just kidding and that he didn’t mean to offend in any way. But Jeremy wasn’t having it at all. He slammed the door in Chris’ face AGAIN.”

I never needed more confirmation that Jeremy Piven is the biggest dickwad in Hollywood, but if I did, this would be it.  What a little, fucking crybaby.  Of course he’s getting sued for dropping out of Speed the Plow!  He was so deathly ill with “mercury poisoning”, but still managed to be seen at every restaurant, club and party in the city.  Can we just send him a gross of tuna rolls (dusted with cocaine — we have to make it enticing enough to ensure that Piv eats the whole batch) and get it over with?

Of course, it wouldn’t be a Jeremy Piven story without a denial statement.  According to his rep, “Jeremy and Chris did see each other at MTV and they were joking around backstage before a talk show appearance, as many actors do. If it was interpreted as a fight, someone wasn’t paying attention.”  Kattan’s take, per his people, went like this:  “Chris mistakenly asked Jeremy if he was there to promote his play and Piven fired back with ‘What are you here to promote, Mango?’ Chris tried to apologize.”

Also, I don’t want to say that Jeremy Piven has the most brilliant publicist ever, but if you Google “sushi mercury” the seventh result on page one is an article about — who else? — Jeremy.  Brilliant.

27 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Oh, Wendie, nice to have you back from your visit to Neverland. Piven’s inflated ego and uncensored mouth have become legend. What a jerk! But my favorite part of this is something only reported by one site, that Piven supposedly said to Kattan as his phone rang, “Pretend that’s Ryan Phillippe’s c o c k and grab it right away.” WTF?!

  • He has got to be the biggest douche in the world. He’s probably an asshole cause his hair plugs hurt.

  • I love the majority of the celebrities that are hated on this site and Jeremy Piven happens to be one of them. Man, if he and Katherine Heigl had a baby? It would be awesome. Because I love those two. Hell fucking yes.

    • I agree, Emily. I love alot of the hated celebrities on this site too. Not so much Katherine but I do really love Mandi Moore & I think it would be fantastic if her & Jeremy Piven had a baby!
      Also I think his new movie looks hilarious!
      And it’s great to have your hatin’ ass back, Wendie ;-)

  • I can’t stand either actor. However, I love Ari Gold and Mango is the best thing Chris Kattan ever did. The conversation should have ended after the Mango dig. They both got their shots in.

  • I am truly surprised that Piven has manage to hold on this long. His 15 minutes were up 2 years ago… and he is still acting like an ass.

    And to point out the obvious… he has only been in one hit movie…. Old School. And he was in that movie for maybe 3-4 minutes, top. Then Entourage is on its last leg. So where does he come off as being a entitled ass to Kattan?

    So it is just a matter of time before he has his own little Mel Gibson moment. Get drunk in public… arrested… then call a lady cop “sugar tits”. I just hope the National Enquirer or TMZ is there to get the pictures!

    • Welcome back, Wendie! I. Missed. You. :)

      I think we should all start calling Piven “mercury tits”!

      • Please Wendie would you grace us with a different picture. Anything. One of your swollen, red, pimple encrusted ass perhaps. Or maybe one of your wart covered vagina. Anything would be better than your fucking face.

        Hate flows both ways babe…….can you take in return what your so eager to dish out?……we will see.

    • Wait, what? “His fifteen minutes”? He’s been doing consistent work since the 80s. I can’t stand him either, but he’s ridiculously talented and people keep casting him.

  • It’s like Piven has morphed into Ari Gold… Piven is going to be around forever he is a well respected actor who has a 20 plus year career and is still very much in demand, is he likable in person? Highly doubtful but he’s a successful actor.

    So Wendie, did you miss your comment stalker while you were away?

  • i don’t care what mr. piven does – he was in the original “cupid”, and for that fact alone, i will love him forever.

    put away your current opinions on the man and look that show up on youtube… it was easily one of the best shows ever produced.

  • You were “away” Wendie? To be honest I didn’t even fucking notice. You also didn’t need to throw in the “my perspective, and my overuse of commas and ellipses” remark. Your recognition that we “hate you” is sufficient. We hate everything about you. Your having been hired by the Beet is proof positive she is ready to move on to bigger and better things and is ready and willing to let this part of her life finally go down the toilet. Your a piece of shit Wendie. Do you “appreciate” that?