Today's Evil Beet Gossip

It’s Time for Your Monthly Update on Britney Spears’ Private Parts


Wow, can this girl never go a full month without the news covering a story about something coming out of her vagina? From Page Six:

Britney Spears has cleaned up her act — but she’s still kind of a mess. The pop tart took time off from her “Circus” tour to do an Elle magazine shoot, our spy says, and it was a disaster. “They dressed her in all these beautiful couture clothes — and, well, let’s just say she forgot what time of the month it was. It wasn’t pretty.”

OMG so if you read through those adorably euphemistic lines, Britney Spears’ vagina bled all over those designer clothes. Unless by “time of month” this source meant “the time of month that Britney spontaneously pees all over designer clothes.” I have a lot of questions here. Did she know she was on her period and just not use a tampon? Did she have a tampon in and forget to change it? Or did it sneak up on her? Because sometimes that just happens.

I just kind of feel bad for Brit about all this. Like, homegirl’s done a pretty fantastic job of keeping her act together these past few months, and the media’s still so damn set on finding completely humiliating stories about her. I think you and your menstruating vagina are awesome, Britney!

17 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Haha, pretty awesome post, Beet. I guess nearly half the population of this planet has had some “embarassing” period incident at one time or another… thing is, if we could all just relax about it, at least a bit more, it wouldn’t have to be that horrible.

  • I think ‘it’ must have sneaked up on her.And the sources are probably blowing this way out of proportion,because she would have to bleed like a mofo to bleed all over a designer dress.Poor Britney.Must be tough to have your vajayjay under constant surveillance.

  • I’m hoping this story is just blown out of proportion, and it was just a few spots… if not, that’s fucking disgusting. At least there’s a positive note to it all: SHE’S NOT PREGNANT. Yay for that.

  • I wouldn’t be surprised at all if it snuck up on her. I mean, she’s on tour for god’s sake! It’s not like she has a regular schedule.

      • Not everyone gets menstual cramps. Sometimes I get no warning at all. Just that its time. Other times, I get cramps and a backache..blah.
        But you don’t always know when its coming.

      • Clearly the response of a “well informed” man.

        Most women don’t get pre-menstrual cramps. it’s just a myth perpetuated in male written TV shows. Another myth is that it comes at the exact same time every month. That is the case for some women, but many women I know have periods which come any time within a span of about a week each month (myself included).

        Guys are always so ridiculously squirmish about periods.

        Britney’s only human.

    • LOL…youre right!
      Unless brit’s period moves around (usually at the begining of the month then moves to the middle) then it shouldnt sneak up on her.

  • This ranks at the very top of the list of “Stories I Never Wanted to Hear About in 2009.”

  • Oh come on, I’ve had some close calls and such but she’s just a pig. It’s not the first story of her being covered in menstrual blood. She’s being paid a fuckload of money to do what she does, she can hire someone to keep track. Stop excusing her of everything just to suck up to Beet.