Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Boldly Coming Where No Man Has Gone Before

William Shatner giving the finger with Long Beach mayor Bob Foster

I’m so happy I wrote this post if for no other reason than it led me to this picture of William Shatner and the Mayor of Long Beach at the grand opening of Star Trek: The Tour— a nasty little nugget of Treksploitation that floats 40 years worth of memorabilia around in a cruise ship, looking to fleece Trekkies and Trekkers in a city near you. Even though I say that, if it comes anywhere near Nashville (doubtfull since Tennessee is a land-locked state) I’ll still fork over the cash to go see it. Feel my pain, fellow Trekkers. Feel my pain.

But I digress. That’s not what this post is about.

This post is about the fact that Hustler plans to release a hardcore porno flick based on Star Trek: The Original Series, which will make it the first piece of Star Trek related merchandise where getting fucked up the ass is the main feature, and not just the lamentable side effect of shelling out your hard-earned cash for an expensive piece of poorly-designed crap.  *Shakes angry fist at Paramount’s licensing division*

The film, starring Evan Stone and Tony DeSergio – as Captain Kirk and Mr Spock respectively – is set to go before the cameras next month.The project is the latest in Hustler’s ongoing bid to turn classic US TV shows into porn films. This Ain’t Star Trek XXX! will follow Not Three’s Company XXX and This Ain’t Happy Days XXX onto DVD.

Now that’s one box set I’d like to have for the video library!

While it makes me giggle to think of Spock and his giant Vulcan schlong, a hardcore version of Star Trek actually isn’t much of a stretch– considering that 15 minutes of every episode were dedicated to Shatner-on-alien softcore anyway. And much of the humor in Three’s Company revolved around the sexual tension between the three roommates, so a hardcore version isn’t all that difficult to imagine.

But trying to picture what would happen in a raunchy, X-rated version of Happy Days just makes me laugh out loud. And then my brains shut off.

And yes, I will watch it if I can get my hands on it. I’ll even let you know how it is.

9 CommentsLeave a comment

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  • Why do you think this is a new idea? Ever read fanfics? =)
    Star Trek is the second most popular fanfic subject, and there is soooo much of it is erotica. =DD

  • omg, Kelly, you are amazing! I do not have enough room to tell you how many lines there made me laugh out loud.

  • hahah me and my friends get drunk and watch funny porn all the time. Alice in Wonderland a XXX musical comedy is like a gateway into the world of spoof porn.

  • lols thanks for the heads-up.
    TOS Trek is such a rich vein to mine for this kinda stuff.. if they did a decent job of it, it could become a cult thing, projected at parties..