Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Perhaps It’s Time to Go Back into Retirement?


Poor Lance Armstrong has broken his collarbone in Spain on Monday, after crashing during the first stage of a five-day race. This was supposed to be Lance’s big return to cycling after coming out of retirement.

Armstrong, who was caught in a pile-up about 12.5 miles form the stage’s finish in La Vuelta de Castilla y Leon, appeared to be in considerable pain as he was helped into an ambulance headed to the Rio Carrion hospital in Palencia, the Associated Press reports.

Doctors are determining whether Armstrong will need surgery, according to race spokesman Jacinto Vidarte. The injury could prevent the champ from racing competitively for four weeks.

Personally, I blame Kate Hudson. Everything her vagina touches turns to injured. We could use her in the war, actually. We could just take dust from her vagina and sprinkle it over Al Qaeda training camps and the whole place will break their leg or slit their wrist within weeks. We’ll call it Agent Bloated-Face. No one will ever guess.

Anyway, yeah, wishing a speedy recovery for Lance, of course, but maybe it’s time to rethink the comeback plan, dude.

3 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I have never understood the professional athlete’s version of “retirement” anyway…hopping in and out of it like a hot tub. I think the powers that be are sick of it too, as evidenced above.