Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Sumner Redstone: FINALLY Single!

Honestly, I couldn’t figure out why I’ve been so turned on all night. Just crazy, wild sex thoughts zooming through my brain. Dirty, dirty things, just out of the blue.

Now I understand why.

Viacom chair/crypt-keeper Sumner Redstone filed for divorce today.

Oooh, baby. Sumner’s back on the market! My sex drive sensed it.

Look out, Matt Felker! You’ve got competition now!

20 CommentsLeave a comment