Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Still Smokin’

Despite promising to quit once again, Katherine Heigl was spotted puffing on a ciggie in Long Beach yesterday.

I feel your pain, Katie!!!

I’m still on the non-smoking wagon, but omifuckinggod you guys last night I had to call Dell tech support — in India — because they were supposed to send me a box to ship my laptop in so they could fix it (yes, we are STILL trying to fix that damn laptop) and the box never came.

So I called them to relay the following information: I did not get the box. Please resend it.

This took HALF AN HOUR.

Seriously the little Indian man was like super duper interested in SOLVING THE MYSTERY of where the box went. I was like “I don’t know where the box is. If I knew where the box was I would not be calling you. I would have put my laptop IN the box and shipped it off to be fixed. See?” And he was like “Our records indicate that the box was left at the door of your apartment” and I was like “That’s basically impossible, since you need a security key to get up to my floor. Packages are always left at the office.” And then we need to discuss for like 10 minutes exactly what kind of security is required to get up to my floor and I’m just like “Jesus fucking Christ, send it again and leave it with the leasing office!” and he’s like, “Yes, we did, we left it at your apartment door” and I’m like, “What part of ‘leasing office’ sounds like ‘apartment door’ to you?” and then he’s back on the details of my complex’s security system and I’m like “OMFG can I please talk to someone who understands the subtleties of the English language???” and he was like “Uh, so you do not know where the box is?” and I’m like “Motherfucker it is a CARDBOARD BOX not a NUCLEAR MISSILE just SEND IT AGAIN.” Seriously I checked my cell phone data afterward and it took us THIRTY-TWO MINUTES to agree that he did, in fact, need to resend a fucking cardboard box. Dell probably spent more money on long-distance fees routing that fucking call to India than it is going to cost them to ship another goddamn cardboard box to my fucking LEASING OFFICE. ZOMG.

Anyway.

That was last night, and I’ve wanted a cigarette SO BAD ever since.

Grrrr.

35 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Dell…???? What…???? I thought you made the switch to MAC!?!?

    She’ll never quit smoking, but Congrat’s to you Beet, you have no idea the real problems (hidden) in those things!

  • @long dong silver….love the up the kilt shot…wish I could see it more clearly, but hey….

  • Funny thing is…

    He probably got off the phone and told his friends, “Man, I just spent 32 minutes of my life on the phone with this bitch that’s too cheap to go to the post office and buy a fucking card board box…Damn Jews!”

  • LMAO omg I so know what your saying, I work as a customer service agent, but most of the reservations are booked in a center in 1. Tijuana, or 2. Manila
    When I have to call these places and speak with these agents…I some times feel like reaching through the phone and strangling them with the cord on their headsets.
    And they are my co-workers…

  • All this talk makes my recently kicked-the-habit self want one…ugh..

    And I so know what that is like. I have talked to HP, Linksys, and xboxlive- Linksys is by far the worst of the three.

  • OH MY GOSH!
    that happened to me two nights ago!
    my laptop crashed around 11, i spend an hour trying to fix it, then called tech support at midnight. YES, it was in india

  • OMFG…I went through the same damn thing when I tried to purchase a cell phone online. I had to call them everyday for THREE DAYS before I finally got the details fixed. Why the hell can they not get someone who can understand the English language? When they can’t even differentiate between a mail box address and a route address and they sit there and tell you that you don’t have an actual mailing address because I didn’t live on a freaking street…..And when you ask for someone who can understand you, it never happens. I would rather call and talk to a damn automated voice before I have to deal with people who don’t understand a damn word I say. It’s like the get a kick out of making us stress out over an insignificant thing.

  • OH MY GOSH!
    that happened to me two nights ago!
    my laptop crashed around 11, i spend an hour trying to fix it, then called tech support at midnight. YES, it was in india

    I got transfered to a different department 12 TIMES
    they kept trying to transfer me to laptop, but it always lead me to the desktop department

    finally, at 3am they figured out i had to just press a button to find out what was wrong
    crashed hard drive
    8 years of photos (i’m a photo j student)
    and 4000 songs GONE FOREVER

    now i have to redownload my entire backstreet boys collection
    it’s gonna be a long night

  • To understand the conflict a little better, perhaps it might be worth taking a moment to ponder the dilemma from his perspective.

  • I spent 3 hours on the phone with dell once. My laptop was “Slow” even though it was brand new. It should not take 20 minutes to boot up. The man did not understand this. So it took an hour to explain. an hour for him to treat me like a moron who doesn’t know how to “restart” her computer and an hour waiting for it to reset itself.

    And then I spent a half an hour bitching to his manager.
    I’m sorry, but if you’re going to work for an American company perhaps it’d be best if you could understand the majority of them, since you are supposed to be helping them.
    I don’t care if it’s cheaper, get some people who understand and speak english. God fucking damn it.

  • holy crap. that was the funniest post ever, beet. that happened to me today with my credit card. they canceled it because there were some “unusual charges” and they thought it got stolen. whatever. spent about an hour and a half yelling at some indian guy on the phone, dissing out the company to him. but, yea, i feel your pain. that’s never an excuse to pollute your lungs and harm your health, though. spoking’s bad no matter how soothing it may be as it robs your body of oxygen.

  • I find it hilarious – for entirely different reasons. “OMG! Where is my cardboard box!? I AM going to die if I don’t get a box for my laptop! My entire existence depends on it, I WANT my box!!!”

    LOL! This just reminds me how good a job America’s done of churning out spoiled, foul-mouthed citizens. But here’s something that will make you feel better: your economy’s going to the dogs, so hopefully, you’ll have bigger and better things to worry about pretty soon.

    I love you beet, but your ludicrous, even (?) demeaning third-world jabbings drive me up the wall! What the average American don’t know is just way too much for any of you to make any judgement on us “little Indians” that is even remotely fair – or any part of the world outside of Uncle Sam’s great empire.

    And the rest of you who cannot even speak or write your own language right, you have no idea how colossal a fool you’re making of yourselves complaining about the utterances of someone for whom English is merely an auxiliary or foreign language! Your sentences are bad eyesores, even the simplest of them! Laced with incorrect punctuations, bad grammar, misspellings, and hey, ever heard of capitalizations?

    And I’ll bet my very lovely Indian ass that English is the only language you have ever spoken or been able to understand in your entire lifetimes, while that funny man on the phone, chances are he learned how to speak and write at least 2 other languages fluently before he even got to English. And he probably did all that barefoot, under oil lamps, half starving. Something to think about. If you’re capable of processing non-gossip thought at all that is.

    Just sayin’.

  • Beet, I feel your frustrasion, but you kind of sound like you are PMSing, which I understand. I am a guy I do it, too. Just sit down with the cats and Leo for a little while and you will feel better.

  • AHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHA. Man you sound like me after a long day….it’s like stewie says, Sometimes we need to talk to someone who didn’t come to this country on a floating door…..

  • fucking hell, beet…go to the UPS store and buy a box already! what is wrong with you? seriously…are you that stupid or that lazy?

  • @ Little Indian Beet-reader,

    You are WAYYYYYYYYY too intelligent and well spoken to come to this site. You should have come to this realization around the 6th or 7th time you read, “and he was LIKE….and then I was LIKE…”.

    Please refrain from further upsetting the balance of stupidity, ignorance and hypocrisy that the Beet has worked so hard to create.

    Namaste

  • It has been one year, three months and three days since I quit. Believe me, it wasn’t easy. But also believe me, it is worth the work you’re putting into it and I promise, it does get easier. I go days now without even remembering that I smoked, and while sometimes I wish I could be one of those one cig a day smoker, I KNOW beyond all DOUBT that it’s all or nothing. It’s worth it!

  • I’m as “English” as it gets,( I’m still fluent in French, it’s just not what I speak most of the time) and my customer’s who are mostly American, cannot understand me…speaking English, with a Canadian accent.
    So maybe the problem here isn’t a language barrier.
    A lot of people just don’t listen, plain and simple. You are trying to explain something to them, why they were charged more or whatever, and they…just…don’t…listen…
    But that is something that is Worldwide, not just in America.

    So, What I’m really saying is people who call us for whatever reason, you need a box, you want to know where this charge on your cell bill came from, or why your credit card was cut off….Shut your big mouths and listen to what being told to you….Plain and simple.
    Now I will have a smoke, and a coffee please.

  • @ Little asshole beat reader.

    Do you feel better now after your little condescending speech? How nice of you to stop by and tell us all that we are spoiled foul-mouthed citizens. How did any of us ever make it this far without you?

    Did it ever occur to you that blogs, threads and the like, are where we spoiled citizens go to “talk amongst ourselves” if you will. Where you can type as you would talk to a friend on the phone and say what you really think without, for the most part, hurting anyone’s feelings.

    I personally think you need to take your very lovely Indian ass from whence it came.

  • Relax, Indigo.

    Beet Reader is right. We are extremely provincial in this country and I don’t blame her getting pissed off hearing disparaging remark after remark about her brethren.

    And, truthfully, I have a better time understanding someone from India than I have understanding someone from Alabama (and vice versa, probably).

  • I think the main thing that Beet and everyone that has EVER had a problem with a customer service rep, is that when we need help we need it now. It isn’t like we just call up these people and enjoy getting the run around. Half of the time the problem can never be fixed because the customer service person has no clue what to tell us. I would never say that these people are horrible and stupid just because they couldn’t understand me. But it’s ridiculous when you spend two hours trying to get a cardboard box or a cell phone plan. Think about it before you judge people for being frustrated about it.

  • @ indigo

    Do you honestly believe that “for the most part,” things that are being said on here, HERE, the almighty universally-accessible net-herworld, whoever it may be about – celebs or Indians, do not have the potential to hurt feelings?!! That’d sure be funny if you do considering the fact that this site is a place where people bitch – for the most part.

    @ emma

    How about thinking about it before ruining the entire day of someone who was only trying to do his job? And remember that that man on the phone may not be the brightest star in the galaxy, but he IS trying to be of help! How difficult is it to treat someone who is trying to help you with a little respect?

  • Yes, that’s right we talk about Indians allllll the time on here. Do you honestly think that celebrities and the like are coming here to see what we have to say??? I think not. And you missed my point entirely. You were ripping on the commenters here that we have a lack of understanding of the English language and grammar. My point was that the typing you see here is done in a fashion that is similar to “bullshitting” (oops, there I go with that foul-mouth of mine) with a friend. You also missed Beet’s point entirely. She was ranting about the fact that a simple request took hours to resolve. It could have been someone from Russia, or Japan or Alabama for that matter.

    Well, I’ve go to run now, my lamp is running out of oil and I am hungry. Has anyone seen my shoes????

  • @ emma: the difference between me and beet is that i would never spend 2 hours on the phone trying to get a cardboard box. i would go buy one, mail my laptop and get on with my life. spending more than 10 minutes on that phone call was totally asinine. some people just enjoy complaining about nothing.