Today's Evil Beet Gossip

And I’m Back!

OMG, you guys, I did not mean to be gone all afternoon, and I’m sorry about that, but it was totally worth it.

My dad and I headed to Sequim, Washington (pronounced “Squim”) which is apparently the lavender capital of the country, because I absolutely insisted on seeing the lavender farms. So that’s what we did … at first. And they make lavender everything. Lavender jelly, lavender dog shampoo, lavender ice cream — you name it, you can get it lavender-scented in Sequim. The town itself is about the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen in my life. It looks like a little small farm town that never quite got out of 1960. Everything is very pastoral — hilly and verdant and serene. I fell in love with it.

As we were driving to the lavender farm, we passed a sign for a berry farm where you can pick your own berries. I was like, “Ooooh, I wanna go pick berries!”

So we go to the berry farm, and I run up to the lady in charge, and I’m so excited, and I’m like, “Okay, how much does it cost?” And she looks at me like I’m an idiot and is like, “Well, you need to pick the berries first. We charge by the pound.” And I’m like, “Okay, cool. So what do I put them in?” And she’s like, “Uh, you’re supposed to bring your own container,” and I’m like, “Listen, I grew up in Scottsdale. Cut me a little slack here,” and she finally sold me a couple of little buckets and I was off and running.

First I picked raspberries, and honestly I probably ate as many as I put in the bucket. I know that’s evil of me, but these were the best-tasting raspberries I had ever had in my life. I didn’t even know raspberries were supposed to taste like that! I thought raspberries were a kind of sour fruit, but when you pick them ripe off the vine, they’re almost sugary sweet! They were incredibly delicious, unlike anything I’d ever tasted. It amazes me that, in 26 years of existence, I had never tasted a truly fresh raspberry. Then I picked loganberries, and I think that was my first time tasting loganberries. They have a very distinct taste. And last I picked blackberries, which are also remarkably sugary and sweet when you get them ripe off the vine — I had no idea! I’m such a city slicker! It was sooo much fun, and I yelled at my dad for not taking me to do anything like this as a kid. He was like, “Eh, I’m taking you now, aren’t I?” Also, I told him that I was “very excited” to be picking berries and he was like, “Yes, but are you berry excited?” and I put him in time-out for that. I have no idea where I got my impeccable sense of humor. Both my parents are cheeseballs.

And THEN someone told us about an old-fashioned crab shack out at the other side of town, and so of course I had to go there too. It was called The 3 Crabs and they had oyster soup (yummy!) and then I ordered a “Chowder-wich,” which consists of the following: bread, fried cod, clam chowder (poured over the cod) and cheddar cheese on top of it all. It sounded good in theory, but in actually it was disgustingly salty. But that was okay, because they had these old-fashioned “mile-high” cream pies unlike anything I’d ever tasted. Amazing. Totally worth the whole visit.

Sequim is amazing, and if you’re visiting or living in Seattle, I highly recommend you visit. It’s only a two-hour drive or so.

Anyway, then I got stuck in awful traffic on the way back and just now got settled back in my apartment. So thank you for being patient while I popped my berry-picking cherry. Ha ha. I crack myself up.

42 CommentsLeave a comment

  • God, I miss living in Seattle. My family used to go camping every year in Sequim, at a campground right above Dungeness Spit. It’s sooo pretty! Also, there’s a street out there called Kitchen Dick Road, and when you’re 12, that’s the funniest shit ever. I’m 28 now, and it still sort of cracks me up.

  • I’m glad you had fun! We had raspberries and blackberries in the backyard when I was growing up. Best fruit ever! I hate paying $6 a carton for them when I used to get them for free.

    And might I say you look fabulous? Before TSS says something nasty? Except for the Rumer Willis-worthy pose, but we can forgive that since you’re holding berries.

  • Blah! I lived in the Seattle area for something like 15 years and I never made it to the Olympic Peninsula? How is that possible. Okay – you have convinced me. Next trip to visit the ‘rents is going to involve such a trip.

    I do love fruit and berry picking, however. My mom has a friend who owns and orchard out in Yakima and we used to go there when I was a kid. Good fun.

  • We live in Victoria BC where the blackberries grow wild EVERYWHERE! You can pick buckets and buckets and it don’t cost a penny. The best.

  • yea yea, berries, blah blah.. on the other hand, you can totally get it, Beet. You rarely post self pics but.. nice waist line, cute discreet smile, redhair is like candy for me and nice cans.. yes.. you can totally get it

  • I grew up in Sequim, right on Kitchen Dick road outside the Dungeness Spit, to the person who finds that name hilarious. Port Townsend isn’t cuter than Sequim, its actually quite smelly from the paper mill and full of Wiccan lesbian hippies.

  • Oh, and, Sequim actually closely rivals France for lavendar capital of the world. They are the only two places you can grow it, because of the climate. 3 Crabs is where my best friend worked all throughout high school, I’m surprised you went out that far because its quite a drive just to get there and the decor is rather dark.

  • Hunt your ass down? On the internets? That threat was enough to stop you?

    Beet, I’m commenting to whine about the people posting under my name. Make them stoppppppppp.

  • Fucking Sequim??? You outta be ashamed of yourself partly because:

    1) That place, like Tukwilla and Walla Walla doesn’t actually exist. Nope, it’s all in your head. It’s a completely fabricated place set up to convince people to get off the highway.

    2) We have fresh blackberries in downtown Seattle. In Queen Anne even. If you stop by my office with Leo and invite me to lunch every once in awhile I MIGHT tell you the location. But we’ve been having blackberry pie every week.


  • TSS-
    Nawh, i’d just come find you and shove the tampon that’s in both your vagina and ass up a little farther.

  • KELSO-
    You got to say “ass” and “vagina” in the same sentence today…I’m proud of you. Did you think about your mamma while typing it and get you panties a little moist???
    Now that you defended the honor of all the little ladies in here, you can untie the towel from your neck, put your underwear back on the inside of your pants, push your glasses back up and get back to reading your “V for Vagina” comic books.

    I love Nerds.

  • I’ve lived in Seattle for 15 years. And I am so enjoying your travels. I’m keeping track of all your ‘finds’. Thanks for the insider tips!

  • Yes- there are blackberries EVERYWHERE on Queen Anne, especially near the homeless tents so when you go, bring a few bucks to share the wealth. I make blackberry jam from the for my kids and if I run out, they will NOT be happy so don’t tell too many people.

  • I’m with princess pink…enquiring minds want to know…hair cut or ponytail? Lookin’ good there, Beet, nice & thin for a recovering smoker.

  • Do people actually still wear chunky flip flops? You look very soccer mom-ish. And That personal trainer of yours needs to get to work on those arms stat. Sorry Beet, I know if you can dish it you can take it though! :0)

  • Beet!!! That’s like my favorite picture of you ever! You’re looking very trim, too! :-)
    Did you drive around the whole Hood Canal area? You should do that sometime!
    I LOVE WA!!!!! And I would never, never live anywhere else. But, sshhhh, don’t tell too many of your CA friends about how great it is up here. They all come and drive up the price of real estate. (haha – that sounds like my mom!)

  • Spiteful Lars – Tukwilla is right ON the freeway :P

    And did you know Sequim has one of the lowest rainfalls? Yay for rain shadows! And the animal farm out there is great. We went as a kid, and a Yak or something licked our window.

  • Damn, I so want to say something nice, but I can’t. Beet, I can’t stop laughing at your picture. You head looks like a man in drag…your tits look like they are sagging a bit and your outfit looks like shit! You were probably comfy all day long, but you look probably feel at home in Seattle. If it’s not your big forehead, it’s your poochy gut. Put more pics of you up…it makes my day.

  • You know what would make my day? ThickMascara being run down by a train.

    Photo’s cute as hell, and the Beet’s thighs are fucking tiny. You don’t see me willingly putting photos of myself online anymore, much less blogging about my trips to weird farms. Go, Beet.

  • You must forgive the rude comments, they’re bitter because they could never look that good. remember, bad looks can be fixed, but stupidity is forever

  • lmao @ everything ThickMascara said…that shit was funny ass shit….and the chunky flip flops…lol..i cant stop laffin…..

  • dude!!! they way you complain about your body and eating habits leaves me thinking you like OBESE or something! LOL, you’re in great shape!

  • OH MY GOD!
    Is that you?
    You look happy, yes indeed, but what the hell are you wearing? ö
    The shoes???? Disastrous, I’m sorry.
    So, if you’re comfortable with wearing such hideous clothes, why the hell do you think you’re allowed to react on what other people (the stars) wear? You’re clothes are more aweful than what most of them wear, I’m serious!