Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jessica Simpson Wants a Little More Than a Bottle of Beer in That Mouth of Hers

Here’s Jess in her very sexiest pose in this new ad for Stampede Beer.

Jessica owns a 15% share in the company.

But what’s with this “Stampede Light, it’s beer plus” thing? Grammatical incorrectness notwithstanding, what the fuck does that even mean? Beer plus what? Beer plus your cock in my mouth? Because that’s about the only message I’m getting from this photo, Jess.

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  • OMG I HATE THIS PICTURE!! I normally think Jessica is a gorgeous woman… this is just NOT doing it for her. She looks like trailer trash porn queen. Nothing to do with the outfit, because she could probably work it if her face didn’t look the way it does.

  • isn’t that a bit ironic for jessica simpson to be in an ad that reads “Be Smart…”?? i’m just sayin’…

  • According to People, it’s beer plus vitamins. Although, judging by Jessica’s face, it could be beer plus Thorazine because she looks way out of it.

  • she looks like shes about to have a stroke.
    which would be my defense if i were jessica simpsons brain.

  • Charlotte, I was hoping someone else would see that! It was my first reaction. How could they get the poster woman for dense to be pictured over THAT tag line? Amazing.

  • jessica, you are a beautiful woman. but you really need to close your mouth honey. it looks like your about to drool. not sexy.

  • Well the word smart does not seem to go right with the words Jessica Simpson, but the stylist of this shoot and the photographer should be congradualated because those lips are making me forget all the problems I have with this chick, perhaps Beet has something there. I wont be as direct, but one can not help look at those lips and not have sexual fantasies. This is high school boy wank poster material for sure. Thanks Jess.

  • Looks like her picture was airbrush. Doesn’t even look like her. Always will be a bimbo in my book hehehe.

  • admit it. if she offered, you guys (men and women) would all cause a stampede to get between her legs, regardless of what you say about her from the presumed safety of your computer keyboards.