Today's Evil Beet Gossip

RIP My Laptop

Late last night, my beautiful beloved laptop made the inevitable transition from moribund to just plain dead when I accidentally spilled half a glass of water on it. I took it apart, dried it out, and put it back together, but it was still doing things like adjusting screen brightness while I was trying to type an email. In fact, the entire keyboard was basically useless. When I pressed buttons, it didn’t result in letters appearing on the screen. I tried explaining this to the guy at Dell Tech Support, and he was like, “Ma’am, please go online and type in the following web address so that I can take control of your computer and isolate the problem,” and I’m like, “What part of ‘the keyboard doesn’t work’ are you having trouble translating into Hindi?”

Its time had come. I put it to sleep, shed a tear, then headed to Best Buy to get a new one.

These things happen in threes, people. Please take good care of your laptops and make sure they know how much you love them. It could happen to you.

Anyway, I’m super excited now because my new laptop works super fast, the way my computers work before they have the 18,000 viruses on them acquired when your line of work insists that you download sex tapes every other week.

I’m going to take a little bit of time to try to get my software installed and then we’ll be back to the gossip. Thanks for your patience!

13 CommentsLeave a comment

  • You should have gotten a mac… They are pretty much amazing. And, viruses don’t bug the macs as much as those others.

  • My laptop will be one of the 3’s. Its dying. Its shit. Its also a Dell. I hope you didn’t get another Dell.

  • I have a vaio
    I guess laptops hate drowning
    maybe next time you should try a nice glass of wine instead
    or champagne, so it can giggle
    LOL

  • Here goes the third one. Mine won’t boot either. The HD is making that weird clicking sound. The it tech at my office told me to put the hard disk in the freezer in a wild attemp to revive it to get my essential data out of it.
    I doubt it. So much that I already started shopping for a new one.

  • I spilled water on mine accidentally (a lot of water!), and it was doing the same thing: the keyboard wouldn’t work, or the hitting the keys would make weird things happen. I just left it in front of a fan for like two days propped up on it’s side and it works beautifully now…

  • beet; i’m sick of hearing about things happening at threes. stop fucking saying it. stop fucking saying it. stop fucking saying it.

  • My techno-geek friend tells me that your first step is to set up an account as Administrator. Second step: set up a User account. If something goes wrong, you can go back in as Administrator and repair the damage.

    Wish I had heard that a few years ago. (sigh)

  • P.S. I’m sort of waiting for someone to shriek “OMG MERCURY MUST BE IN RETROGRADE LOL” because, come on. You know someone will.