Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lily Allen Takes Charge

Oh, Lily.

You just can’t stay out of trouble these days, can you?

Lily was stumbling between London clubs at 1:30 in the morning when a random fan started talking shit to her. The obvious response? Lily punched her three times. The paps say she landed all three punches solidly. And she would have kept going, except her friends pulled her away and put her in the car.

Rock on, Lily.

This is kind of what I’d like to do to Microsoft right now. I just had my FOURTH core dump of the night as I was downloading these photos of Lily. Folks, please let me serve as a warning to you: DON’T BUY ANYTHING WITH VISTA INSTALLED ON IT. And this is AFTER THE SERVICE PACK they released in the spring. I remember we had to write our own operating systems in my OS class in college, when I studied computer science. I drank a lot back in those college days, and I’m pretty sure I was loaded while I was coding most of that project. Just sitting at my Unix terminal for hours and hours with nothing but rum and Coke and CS books. Nonetheless, when I was done, I had created an operating system that NEVER, EVER HAD A CORE DUMP. I did it all by myself. DRUNK. Before I was even old enough to legally drink. It is not that hard.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, MICROSOFT???

I’m buying a Mac first thing tomorrow. You finally lost me, Mr. Gates.

50 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Ya gotta love a woman that can pack a punch… but Lily’s form on that right cross looks a little (very) weak. The “victim” seems to even be laughing about it! She’s just throwing one of those girly-lean-in-weak-punches there in the pic.

    As for Mac, I’m on a MacBook Pro and love it! You can split your hard drive and load PC crap on it if you have applications you need to run them.

    • It’s obvious that Lily Allen was a bit drunk, the flash bulbs do nothing for her attempt at a swing. But once again she was provoked by someone’ s mean comments

      • When you go to the part of the tape where Lily Allen is said to have commented Violence is bad… Listen to it carefully, it sounds like it was dubbed, into the tape. Later on the tape, she say’s Marvin don’t swear that is bad, and it sounds like her the second time but not the first.

  • I have a Mac and I absolutely love it! My boyfriend works at Microsoft and he even wants a Mac. Buy one!

  • Why not just erase the HD and install XP? I’ve done that on both my laptop and PC because Vista blows.

  • Vista is horrible. But I will never buy a Mac, because if something does go wrong with one, you’re the proud owner of a $2,500 paperweight. I’ve never heard of one being successfully repaired, and that’s disturbing. I know tons of people who are die-hard Mac enthusiasts, but I know almost as many who swore off of Macs after one died on them, and Mac techs were unable to ID the problem or recover stored files. Problems are less common with Macs, but when they do occur, you’re fucked. My sister’s Mac has been freezing and losing data repeatedly for almost a year now, she’s had it in to Apple people approximately 825,384,206 times, and every time, they tell her that nothing is wrong. She bought a new PC two days ago.

    Sadly, a lot of new PCs can’t run XP, from what I’ve heard (although when Vista fucks up, it’s at least fixable). I’m sticking with my old-as-hell computers that can still run XP, and praying that something better comes along.

  • I have to agree with klipper and Jay. dump the Vista and install XP. Everyone I know hates Vista, but all the macs in went into the trash

  • Beet, GET THE MAC!!!!!!!!!!! You will not be sorry! It’s flawless!!!!! It is a fabulous machine and I am a huge fan. Last Nov. I got one – simply because I was bored and wanted to see what all the hype was. EASY to learn and EASY to use. It NEVER boogers up on me!!!! When I have to use my Windows PC, I am immediately reminded of how much it SUCKS!!!!!! It’s slow, full of CRAP, and boogers up regularly necessitating a restart. NEVER HAPPENS WITH MY MAC!!!!
    My only suggestion is to get a MacBook Pro because the white MacBook gets palm stains after time and is unsightly! The silver PRO doesn’t get that.

    Come over to the DARK SIDE!!! You’ll love it over here!!!!! :D

  • I bought the 2nd Mac when when it came and I’m on my 13th one and I’ve never had one single problem with any of them. Very solid machines!!!!!!

    Though they will let you Drunk-Email- so WATCH OUT!!!! hahaha!!!!

  • Oh one other thing- Apple’s Mail App. is the best, it used to be a little hard to setup, but it’s great and use Firefox or Safari on it for the internet, so you keep both App.’s open (I never quit my Mail) and it grabs mail constantly.
    If I can help you with anything I’d be glad to, you have my email : )

  • Thanks for the testimonial. I was beginning to weaken seeing Vista absolutely everywhere. But everyone knows is sucks and it is a damn shame the people at Microsoft did not develop it further before they sent it out to the public. I would not get a Mac because if it goes wrong you just don’t know how to fix it. With the PC and your training you have lots of tricks and can fix a PC easily. Go to you local Computer story have them build you a XP system while Xp is still being sold. If anyone knows a good Linux based system, they should let us know, Vista is pushing us there.

    Oh…. Lily who? What does she do beside punch people. Classless.

  • Try installing Ubuntu (linux)–completely free, easy to use, stable, etc. I swapped out my Vista installation for Ubuntu first thing, and never looked back.

  • P.S To the person who said “I would not get a Mac because if it goes wrong you just don’t know how to fix it.” Apparently Macs have one of the best aftercare packages, so that shouldn’t be much of an issue.

  • Vista is crap.

    I just bought a Macbook, and I cant believe Ive lived without it for so long with the ever-so-gruesome Windows.

    Mac = amazement

    p.s Kudos to you Beet, the drunken coder lol

  • Vista is crap.

    I just bought a Macbook, and I cant believe Ive lived without it for so long with the ever-so-gruesome Windows.

    Mac = amazement

    p.s Kudos to you Beet, the drunken coder lol

  • yea, yea.. mac vs. vista.. who cares. Anyway. Beet, you know I love you, but.. for the fans, can you clear up exactly what you went to school for? I’ve read a ton of stories where you say “when I was in school for ______” and you throw in something to fit the story. Is that just part of your charming writting style?

  • a mac is not 2500. you can get the basic for 1000, although i bumped up my memory for $200 more. the pros are $1800ish. but 2500? nah.

  • Definitely go with a Mac. They can be pricey but they are worth it. I haven’t used a PC since 2004, and I have no regrets. Stay away from the Air though, that is for fools.

  • omg beet youve gone down in my estimations… i didnt know you were a windows user.
    why the HELL have u not bought a mac before now? you probably deserve all your computer troubles

  • For the site, I use a Mac, and their AWESOME! You’ll be glad you got one. For portability, I use a small sublaptop with linux. It rocks too.

    Basically, I avoid microsoft like the plague. It was crashing every 30 seconds, giving me errors when I went online, and I got to the point where I was either going to puck out my own eyes or get another computer.

    thankfully, I opted for the computer.

  • Man, Lily Allen rubs me the wrong way. When sober, she seems sweet and down-to-earth, but when she drinks she’s a total idiot. A spoiled brat who needs to grow the fuck up already.
    Me thinks she can’t handle the booze, an addict or not.

  • About Vista: I bought a new PC back when Vista was just released here in Sweden, and I wisely opted to install XP on it instead of having to endure a new crash-tastic system. “I’m am so smart, I am so smart, S-M-R-T…” ;p

  • yeah axe Vi$TA.. POS!!!… MAC is your best bet… I use OSX/XP/LINUX… NEVER Vi$TA!!!!

    yeah r0c on you evil c0der!!!! :)

  • So like.. isn’t her punching hand the same one she was holding the fag with? … in tha case…. looks like Lily smacked the chick AND put a fag out in her hair.

    …or mebbe I’m just wanting for too much drama…

  • Dear Beet,
    I deffinantly love you way more than perezhilton.com
    the reason being becasue i can tell you this in a fucking comment
    WITHOUT having to register and all that ridiculous BULLSHIT.like at the gay dude with pink hair’s site.
    LAME he is indeed
    WONDERFUL YOU ARE INDEED>
    doesnt hearing compliments etcetc get old?
    no?
    i didnt think so .
    i love you beetie!!!

  • I’d like to protest. I have a new laptop with Vista and it looks beautiful sitting over there across the room while I type on my old wal-mart clunker with XP. Heh..who doesn’t love a good looking paper weight?

  • I love my MacBook and iPhone! I couldn’t imagine having to work with a clunky system that was slow and cumbersome. I, too, took a lot of CS in school and had difficulty with a Mac, at first. They are so easy, I had trouble because I think too hard. You’ll be so happy!

  • 3 Macs in our house, running on an Apple-based wireless network. It’s just flawless. Never a hiccup……….

    well, except once. Our son, a college student, decided to test Mac’s toughness by carrying his MacBook in the basket of his bicycle……. every day….. for a semester. Lost the hard drive, and it’s bruised and battered, but it keeps on going never the less.

  • Shes got stocky old lady legs. Thats right I said it. I hope she tries to swing at me in her drunken british slobbering style… i could take her ass down in a second.

  • BEET!!!!! I am a MAC convert and have nevernevernever looked back. Once you get your head around how a MAC works, it is sooooooooo easy and completely intuitive – it thinks just like humans do. And my iPhone has already paid for itself in envious looks…..

    Go get the MacBook Pro, but don’t get the white one, they get kinda dingy looking even if you wash your hands every single time…..get the silver one.

    Some PC folk are very upset when someone converts to a MAC, which I find puzzling. And I have seen hard-core PC defenders become obsessive MAC converts.

    Whatever…..go get a Mac, you wont need to buy another computer for years, it will be fast, get you online anywhere, no hackers to really worry about and it looks great. And buy the Apple Care Protection, if you need it it is well worth it – I have it on my MAC- mini (desk top) and my MacBook Pro. And I have never needed it……

    Have a BLAST!!!!!!!!!

  • Vista is a piece of shit. I can definiteyl testify to that. BUT I would have to agree with everyone else here that a Mac, whilst great for the short term, would be horrible if you have a problem with it.

    Is this number 2? Or 3?

    Please let it be 3. Good things are supposed to happen in 3’s too. :)

  • Beet — I ADORE my mac. I finally got sick of my windows, after it crashed and ate all my files, like four years ago. And the only problems I’ve ever had with my mac come from MSN and the other Microsoft programs I’ve had to install (for school and whatnot). I have friends with macs which are ten years old (they were way ahead of the curve, and always had macs as their home computers) and they still work, it’s insane.

    Oh, and service on the Macs is GREAT. I call up the hotline if I have a problem (and I’ve only really ever had a problem with my wireless internet, because my router doesn’t like the mac all that much), and they’ve always ALWAYS talked me through it. (That, and they’re actually in the continental US and speak ENGLISH. Amazing.)

    The first couple of days with a Mac, you’ll probably freak out. I was already a wreck because all my files and projects had been eaten when my Windows imploded, so trying to get my head around the simplified controls on a Mac nearly broke me. But once you get used to it, it’s fine. :D

    Just take some precautions — a firewall and whatnot — and you shouldn’t really have a problem.

  • Gotta love that above that rant was a banner advertising PC’s…
    I made the same promise, but finally had to make the switch to mac after vista shit…and i have to say i love it. Everytime you find yourself missing a PC program, you find a better one on mac’s

  • I’ve had zero problems with Vista. I have it on my shitty $500 laptop that I used for school and now use for being lazy and surfing the internet in bed.

    I’m getting a new desktop this fall, and I plan on buying a PC because I would like to play vidja games. Still not sure if I’m going to run Linux on it, but it’s likely. If I got a new laptop I’d probably get a Mac, but I’d never have it for my desktop.

  • Hahahaha, I love reading about this…
    People complaining how windows crashed and ate all their files…
    Wrong, you downloaded porn and got virused and it ate your file system…
    Someone else, Jay?, says that newer PC’s can’t run XP??? What?!? Yeah right, that is such crap…
    WRONG! ALL PC’s THAT CAN RUN VISTA CAN RUN XP!!!

    Is Vista great? No, is it better then XP??? Some people think so. If you have it on newer hardware, it is just as fast in most cases. I find it to be as stable as XP, my main system, XP, has run continuously without fail for more than a year, it would have been 4 years if the power supply didn’t fail.
    My newer system with Vista has run constantly for over a year as well.

    Software that is loaded on the system by 3rd parties are what normally crash Vista, if you install a virgin copy of Vista on a clean system, your crashes go away in almost all cases.

    Guaranteed…

  • BTW, I do not hate Macs, I would have brought one many years ago if the prices and the monopoly were not so bad…
    True story, while PCers can buy a replacement floppy for 15 dollars, the secretarys’ Mac floppies cost 210 dollars. And the “superdrive” broke 5 times more frequent at 5 times less use.

    But I do love some of the Mac software… I just hate having to wait until MS steals it and adds the red headed stepchild version onto windows…

  • Thank you Grandizer. I find that 80% of the people who bash Vista have no idea why they hate it so much.

  • i bought a used toshiba laptop last year that cam with vista. i parted with vista after exactly one day of having it… had opensuse/gnome for a year now and soooooo happy with it. windows is a piece of elephant doodoo.

  • Funny, for a woman that claims to be a computer genius by your description you were stupid enough to buy Vista and not smart enough to install Ubuntu or even XP.