Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Florida Is the New Ethiopia

Sopranos star Edie Falco adopted a baby girl named Macy from Florida in February.

From Florida? In February?

Um, did I miss the major tectonic plate shift that resulted in Florida being a part of Africa? I mean, it’s not like I ever read non-celeb news, so it’s possible it just never came across my radar, but that seems unlikely, because doesn’t Jennifer Lopez own a home in Miami? I definitely would have heard about Jennifer Lopez’s Miami home and the tectonic plates beneath it moving to Africa. I’m just going to go ahead and assume that Florida is still a part of the United States, like it was the last time I took geography.

So let me get this straight, Edie. You adopted a child from America? And you didn’t immediately issue a press release?

What kind of a fucking celebrity are you? I get it, I get it. You’re embarrassed that your adopted kid isn’t from Africa. It’s kind of like when you get a new pair of jeans at Express and you like them, you really do, but you don’t really want to advertise that you got them from Express because, like, all the cool kids are wearing Paper Denim. I feel for you, Edie.

Enjoy the kiddo.

9 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I’m in florida! I woulda let her adopt me, but I didn’t knwo she was out shopping…. Dammit!

  • I already LOVE this woman, and now I love her more. There are so many kids right here in the US that need love and protection, and their chances of being adopted are depressingly slim. I am adopted.

  • This time evil, your article is …. really disapointing. Read it again and I hope you’ll see you’re being very unappropriate.
    There should be more celebrities like Edie Falco!

  • Completely agree Tamo.

    There are children all over the world in need of a family to love and support them, its not just african children that suffer. How stupid are you.

  • On the contrary, geologically speaking, Florida was once a chunk from the African continent that stuck to North American millions of years ago.

    So, you’re almost right. The weather in Florida sure is African. East African that is.