Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Oh God. It’s Happening. The Scarlett Johansson Album of Tom Wait Covers is Actually Fucking Happening.

The first single off the album, called “Falling Down,” is streaming on AOL.

Listen to it here
.

Um, I don’t really know who Tom Waits is, but this sounds like something you’d find on the old masters of a Sarah McLachlan recording session back in 1992.

It’s not, like, super bad or anything. I mean, it’s still a hundred times better than anything Heidi Montag’s come up with. But, Jesus, it’s so, so strange.

Did I mention I can’t believe this is actually fucking happening?

So, so weird.

And, yeah, this is a photo of Scarlett from 1996. Because I accidentally had my WireImage account set up to display search results in ascending chronological order, and so when I was looking for a good photo of Scarlett to use for this post, this photo was the first to show up. And I was like, “So, Scarlett, you wanna be really fucking weird for no good reason? Well. Two can play at that game.”

26 CommentsLeave a comment

  • > Um, I don’t really know who Tom Waits is

    Are you joking?! What are you 10 years old?

  • I thought that 70’s and 80’s trend of actors making corny shithouse albums was over …Helloooooo Leif Garrett, Eddie Murphy, Jack Wagner, Patrick Swayze… on and on … help me out with some more!

  • continued…Biran Austin Green , Bruce Willis AKA BRUNO lol , Tony Danza, Jennifer Love Hewitt! Hahaha!! there’s a whole list on Amazon .. it asks me if I want to buy them all NO FUCKING WAY isn’t an option.

  • Can’t imagine anyone covering Waits–he’s unique. Beet, you should rent Coffee and Cigarettes. Tom Waits puts in an appearance with Iggy Pop. He’s been in several other films as well.

  • Sounds like a bad version of Sinead. She needs better voice reworking or voice lessons. Someone needs to call Britney’s mixer.

  • She doesn’t know who Tom Wait is because the Evil Beet chick is around 26. But jeez I am 30, and know who he is.

  • Yeah, I don’t know who Tom Waits is either.
    That photo is pretty funny though… she still looks the same

  • Tom Waits is an absolutely astonishing songwriter (with a beyond intense growling voice which is the polar opposite of that American Idol soft junk), a legendary figure who many of the great rock stars look up to. I would never compare a young actress showing the nerve to cover the great, great, great Tom Waits to corny 80’s albums. Scarlett takes quite a chance and sounds like an Americanized (if nowhere as distinctive) Nico. A solid gamble.

    Swordfishtrombones and Rain Dogs are among the greatest albums ever!

  • I will hold off on S.J till I hear the whole thing. But I am getting a kind of Cat Powers lite from her. Although, I loved the Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward album Beet mentioned a couple of weeks ago.

  • Beet, really? You don’t have to be a music snob or an old person to know who Tom Waits is! I’m 24 and I have a few of his albums and have seen a lot of his movies. Coffee and Cigarettes is a great movie, but everyone’s seen ‘The Outsiders’ and ‘Mystery Men’, and he’s in both of those!

    As far as ScarJo’s version, I thought it was really, really pretty! Especially the background music. Her singing isn’t as great as I thought it would be but it’s definitely better than most actors turned singers. I may be the only one who thinks this, but kudos to her!

    J

  • Oh Beet you are Hil-ar-i-ous! I mean seriously, the things you say. I have a newfound respect and love for the beets in the world. All because a little evil goes a long way. Keep up the good work! ;)

  • ough. scarlett makes me feel sick. she looks so vulgar – not only in this pic from 96. so we know david bowie goes for the huuuge milk tits hanging on out of scarlett’s clothes. ewwwww.
    find her music horrible, she better works as a stripper

  • Try “way down the hole” by tom waits, opening theme for the wire.. by the way also try the wire, best fucking show ever.

  • I hate Tom Waits. But I love his songs. Every single song of his I’ve heard covered (and there are billions of covers) I’ve loved. I just can’t stand to listen to him specifically. He’s on that list of brilliant songwriters I’d rather hear covered along with Bob Dylan and Greg Brown.

  • Love Scarlett………..but she doesn’t have the, ummmm, heft to pull off Tom Waits. I’m glad she likes Tom, but this song? Eh, not so much.

    Tom Waits’ “Bone Machine”: scariest/coolest album evah.

  • Darling, even my little brother (he’s 12) knows who Tom fucking Waits is. Where have you been for the last couple of years?

  • I think it’s not a bad record, but it’s not great either. If she would do an album of original material, I’d buy it.

    In the meantime, like so many others have said, how can you not have heard of Tom Waits?

    I smell a rat or a plant.