Today's Evil Beet Gossip

OMG, Who the Fuck Let Paula Abdul Do a Reality TV Show?

Whoever is managing this woman needs to be fired again and again and again.

I finally had the opportunity to watch an episode of Hey, Paula, and it is, to summarize, thirty minutes of Paula Abdul wasted. And I do mean for the entire thirty minutes. Seriously, guys, even the Real World kids tend to be sober for some measurable portion of the daytime. Not so with Ms. Abdul. The last time I saw a reality show about someone who was this ridiculously wasted all fucking day, it was called The Anna Nicole Show. And we all know how well that turned out.

Ratings for the show have been dismal, and rightly so. It’s mundane. It’s pathetic. It’s embarrassing. It’s not like watching a train wreck. It’s like watching the five-year-old you’re babysitting crash his Tonka trucks into each other. Over and over again.

But the blame for this extends beyond Paula. Someone pitched this show. Someone agreed to produce it. Bravo agreed to air it. And Paula Abdul herself must have been in at least one or two meetings with these people before any of this happened. So these people knew what they were getting into. It’s not like this woman is witty. It’s not like she’s insightful. It’s not like her day-to-day life is particularly interesting. Her staff obviously hates her, and everyone who has to interact with her does so in approximately the same tone of voice you’d employ with your young Tonka aficionado. So I have to figure that all these people were just betting on her being so fucking retarded all the time that it would make good TV. Paula, my dear, you may want to look for new management, preferably one who can focus on helping you conquer your drug problem rather than exploiting it.

I’ve included a clip of my favorite scene of this episode, in which Paula is touring the lab of a fragrance company producing the perfume to which she’s going to lend her name. She stumbles down the stairs to the lab, then drops a sampler on the floor, bends down to pick it up, and doesn’t see any pressing reason to stand back up again. She then says the word “sexpot” in much the same way I might, had I taken six Vicodin and polished off two tumblers of Scotch before 1 pm.

21 CommentsLeave a comment

  • paula will be fine. she has american idol, the nr 1 show. anna nicole never had anything like that going for her

  • The Evil Beet is right. This is 30 minutes of my life that I’ll never get back. I love Paula Abdul. This is a poor excuse for a reality show. Pack your knives and go home.

  • Wow….I thought you guys were overexaggerating. But you weren’t. She kinda scares me.

  • I saw the show and it sure wasn’t flattering to her. What a whining, spoiled ninny who thinks the entire world revolves around her.

  • ok for u info its not 30 min wastied readeind that stuff up there was 5 min of my life ill never git back

  • Paula is a fame-hungry shrew whose 15 minutes were up in the ’80s. Now she’s just a sad (and incoherent) washed-up celebrity who is trying desperately to cling on the last fraying threads of what she once called a career.

    I did watch an episode of “Hey, why isn’t the spotlight on me?”, er, I mean,”Hey, Paula,” and I can sum it up in one word: lackluster. I swear, the entire episode she was “crying for the camera”. Constantly babbling on how all these “rumors are damaging my monetary opportunities.” Super. Not only is she a has been, but a has-been whore. I would pay $ to see Simon just say “f*ck it” and start whaling on her.

  • The Beet is right on the money. This show is so sad, so pathetic, I can’t even imagine why it was aired – if I were Paula Abdul, I would be firing EVERYONE and getting sober.

    I was not a great huge fan of Paula’s before. Now I just feel sorry for her, and have so little respect for her it’s going to be hard to give any credence or weight to her already airy opinions on American Idol, which I do enjoy.

    Example of a great career move: Thinking maybe by calling attention to how low-rent your celebrity status is might be fun to watch. You know, I wasn’t a huge fan of Kathy Griffin’s either – UNTIL I watched HER reality show (“My Life On the D-List”). One episode had me hooked – she is smart, interesting, and hilarious, and I found her utterly charming. Her reality show has top spot on my Tivo list, and without it, I would probably never have cared about her one way or the other. Paula, on the other hand… example of a great career-ENDING move: Thinking maybe you really are a star and that by calling attention to yourself, people might like what they see. Yikes, Paula – spare us.

  • leave paula abdul alone rate know!!!!!!!!!!! she is minding her own bisnuss and this stupid website and other media will not leave her alone!!!!! and you people who say shes on drugs FOR YOUR INFORMATION she got into a plane crash when she was yunger and hit her head of the roof and know she has bad nervs!!!!!!!!!! SO ANYONE WHO HAS SOMTHING BAD TO SAY ABOUT PAULA ABDUL F OFF!! IM 11 YEARS OLD AND PAULA IS MY ROMODLE!!!!!!! SHE IS OWSOME AND ANY ONE WHO THINKS DIFFERANT STICK A SOCK IN IT!!! AND EVIL BEET GET A LIFE AND STOP MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE CAUSE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOUR SELF!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Let’s resolve this with the truth:
    Haters: Paula is crazy
    Paula and her fans: Why she would be “CRAZY”, she is not crazy she is funny, but not crazy. “CRAZY” is the bad term for her funny life. Resolution: If she is crazy all of us too. There’s not “CRAZY” people on the world, they just have problems.

    Haters:Paula is on drugs
    Paula and her fans: Why she would consume drugs? To be like Courtney Love in the floor showing her boobs? At her age she obviously would’nt do that she is intelligent. They parents teach her how to be normal person.Resolution: Let’s be good at her she is not on drugs.If she were on the drugs all her career go down. She doesnt consume drugs by the support of her fans and people who love her. She is human. Respect her.

    Haters:Paula is an alcoholic person. (When she confuses Jason song’s on A.I.)
    Paula and her fans: She confuses. Why she couldnt make a mistake. You make a mistake everyday, just like her. And A.I. is not scripted. Resolution: Mistakes………..classic everybody can do a mistake……….EVERYDAY without think in do it.

    3 of who knows how much reasons to no hate Paula. She is human just like you and me. Just, admit it. You are jealous!

  • My mother and I want to create a blog much like this for our internet site, I stumbled across your internet site trying to get ideas on the theme and layout. I am taking some coding class while attending college but not certain that I would have the ability to develop a blog like this one at this time. Did you code this website all by yourself or use a qualified?