Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Paris Won’t Do All 45 Days

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She’ll probably do anywhere from four to twenty-four days. Look here:

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) — Paris Hilton may spend far fewer than 45 days in county jail for violating probation because of state policies and jail overcrowding, authorities said Thursday.

Ah yes, overcrowding. Stop going to jail Cali people! And shouldn’t they at least consider reserving a V.I.P. room like they do at fancy restaurants?

“It’s possible that it could be 21 days, 23 days. It’s a complicated formula that the state sets down. It’s possible that she could do less time,” (spokesman Steve) Whitmore told The Associated Press.

Um, how complicated are we talking here? I’m assuming we start with the 45 days. And then we divide it or something. Maybe we throw in how many other inmates are around contributing to the overcrowding.

Look, If I’m going to hunger strike while Paris is in the clink I need the exact number. Good God man.

Last year, “Lost” actress Michelle Rodriguez was sentenced to 60 days in jail for violating probation after her drunken driving arrest in Hawaii. She was released in hours because of overcrowding.

Holy Crap! Hours?? Exactly how good was her behavior? Did she knit something? Perhaps a gentle lullaby for a guard? Yipes.

I, for one, did not go to evil blog school to see Paris in jail for only a few hours.

She will not receive any favors because she is a celebrity, he added.

Of course she won’t. The fact that her daddy can donate millions of dollars to any political cause on a whim won’t help her at all. In fact, powerful people have always been treated the exact same way us us, so long as “exact same” means “completely opposite.” Can we run a pool on her exact jail time? Maybe dedicate a slam poetry post to the winner?

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