Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Late-Night Links

Howie Day’s publicist turns a tragically under-publicized stint in rehab into a smooth ride on the Britney Spears Vagina Train. Next stop: your pop culture radar. [Celebslam]

Joe Francis is going to jail, where he can be sodomized (again). [The Blemish]

And here’s your weekly installment of “Nicole Richie and Joel Madden Leaving Mr. Chow’s.” Dude, if I were Jet Li, I’d be all about the “Hey I can make sure you have Chinese in you every night” lines with that girl. [Celebrity Smack]

I always hate to admit this, but Barron Trump is truly the cutest celebrity baby of all time. [popbytes]

Diddy’s all like “You people honestly think I was banging Aubrey O’Day? That chick was a has-been before her first album even came out. Oh, wait …” [Bossip]

Britney Spears may be staying clean, but her shirt sure isn’t. [I’m Not Obsessed]

The jokes about Heidi Montag’s new “hills” are never going to stop being funny. No really. Everyone. Make that joke. Do it again. Still funny! Get it? Because the show’s called The Hills? And she got breast implants? Get it?? [IBBB]

Admit it. You’d have sex with Rose McGowan. I don’t care who you are. You’d have sex with her. [Yeeeah!]

Um, woah. These pictures of Scary Spice fully making out with a chick kind of shed some light on why she and Eddie Murphy didn’t work out. [DListed]

Note to Jennifer Garner: when there is a photographer five feet in front of you, that is the wrong time to smell your finger and make a face. Because, whatever the context was, we don’t care. [ICYDK]

Mischa Barton’s SUV has acquired her penchant for flats. [Teddy & Moo]

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are still going strong. [Glitterati]