Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Paris Might Be Going to Jail

Paris Hilton, who has offically earned her nickname “celebutard,” is facing up to 3 months in prison after driving on a suspended license. Paris wasn’t supposed to be driving after being convicted of alcohol-related reckless driving and given 36 months probation. Of course not only did she drive, but she also decided to drive her brand-new Bentley Continental GTC without her headlights on.

The Los Angeles City Attorney’s Office is all over this. I think that they should make an example out of Miss Hilton. Drinking and driving isn’t cool, and when a normal person violates their probation they get thrown in the slammer.

“Once our office is able to verify that Miss Hilton was driving, we will request that the court revoke her probation and set a probation violation hearing,” said Nick Velasquez, spokesman for the city Attorney’s Office.

If Paris Hilton went to jail somehow order would be restored in the universe. Britney’s hair would grow back, Whitney Houston would put out a rocking new album, Lindsay Lohan’s hair would turn red again and “Mean Girls: The Bitches Strike Back” would become a reality.

Come on Paris, Martha Stewart did it. Jail. So hot right now.

This is the outfit that Paris wore to her lawyer’s office. Gag me with a spoon.

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