Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Kim Kardashian did a Super Bowl commercial for T-Mobile and it’s kinda funny

kim kardashian super bowl t-mobile

Well, I suppose you can’t say Kim Kardashian doesn’t have a sense of humour. Since the Super Bowl is this weekend, we should all be prepared to be bombarded by lots of new commercials made especially for the occasion. Some will be funny, some will be awful, most will be forgotten about quickly. T-Mobile wanted to throw their hat into the advertising ring but also wanted to get one up on the occasion and as such, they’ve released their new ad, which stars Kim, online ahead of the big weekend.

That’s right, kiddies. Use your data to look at pictures of Kim Kardashian. It’s the right thing to do.

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Kim Kardashian’s “furkini” wins at Photoshop

kim kardashian furkini

It looks like Kim Kardashian finally got the hint that she needed to hire someone a bit more adept at Photoshop, because her latest pictures – apparently shot by Kanye and retouched by someone with a professional degree in digital image editing – while on vacation are a true spectacle to behold.

You can’t even shade these pics – the Photoshopping is on point – they’ve made her look like she’s got insane curves, the flattest stomach ever and basically picture perfect. Just like God intended it. Beyonce, take note! This is how you make yourself skinnier/not look like a normal person with imperfections in pictures!

kim kardashian furkini 2

kim kardashian

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Best and Worst Celebrity Looks of the Week!

This is what Kim Kardashian wears to catch a flight at LAX. I am so, so, so sick of seeing this woman's boobs.

This is what Kim Kardashian wears to catch a flight at LAX. I am so, so, so sick of seeing this woman’s boobs.

Welcome back to another exciting round of Best and Worst Celebrity Looks of the Week! In case you missed it, we did a Golden Globes fashion post, so this won’t focus on that. I’m gonna warn y’all, I am in a particularly bitchy mood, so when critiquing this week of celebrity looks/outfits, I won’t be holding anything back. I’d advise you to do the same, because f-ck it.

So go through the photos and make your picks for who had the BEST, WORST, and most WTF look of the week!

 

Busy+Philipps

What in the everloving hell is this two piece monstrosity on Busy Philipps? She looks like she got attacked by retro curtains.

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Kylie Jenner hates her new puppy

kylie jenner

Kylie Jenner was all hype and feeling “#blessed” when she got a new pet greyhound for Christmas. However, the charm has already worn off and apparently Kylie hates her pup, whose name is Norman, because having to take care of it is cutting into her clubbing time. Instead, she’s been pawning the dog off on her sisters so she can hit the town… how, I’m not sure, since she’s not even 18 yet.

Anyhoo, here’s the scoop from Radar Online:

“Kylie just got this dog for Christmas and she is already pawning him off on her sisters so that she can go out,” the insider says.

According to the source, the 17-year-old star of Keeping up with the Kardashians even “got upset that she couldn’t go out one night because she had to stay home with him.”

“Her family thinks that it was a really bad call to get her this dog because she can barely take care of herself,” the source tells Radar. “But she insisted that she have it.”

“Sometimes having a dog can actually make someone more responsible and they are hoping that this is the case,” the source says.

“Hopefully she does not treat him like Kim treats her animals,” the insider adds. As Radar reported, the Kardashians have had several animals over the years whose time with the family has been short-lived.

Yo, when will people realize that pets are a COMMITMENT, not a one-time Christmas gift that’s fun for the day and that you can just ignore afterwards. Getting a dog is a serious responsibility and it’s so sad that this dog is going to end up neglected and then sent to the shelter because these idiots can’t be bothered to look after it.

Also, I really want to know what the hell Kim has done to animals! That shit sounds ominous.

Anyhoo, while a lot of this might be made up by Radar interns, I think we can all agree that it’s likely true – especially considering Khloe already posted a photo of her time “puppy sitting”… less than a week after Kylie got the poor dog. In fact, it was the VERY NEXT DAY.


Puppy sitting ????????????

A photo posted by Khloé (@khloekardashian) on

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Kim Kardashian doesn’t smile because it causes wrinkles

kim kardashian

Kim Kardashian loves taking selfies and basically catching her mug on camera in whatever way possible. In most of those photos, she’s scowling, or at the very least trying to look super serious and high fashion. It doesn’t work, but whatever.

Now, Kim swears she’s not unhappy – she has the best life ever, actually. She’s filthy rich for absolutely nothing, she’s married to Kanye, who is apparently her dream man, she’s got a gorgeous little girl. What’s not to like? Turns out, there’s a reason she never (*rarely) smiles in pics, and that’s just because doing so causes wrinkles.

She posted the above photo with her friend Shamari Maurice with the following caption:

“See I do smile… even laugh on occasion. Not too often though because it causes wrinkles.”

Now, was Kim Kardashian being sarcastic here? Sure, probably. Does part of her probably seriously believe this? Yup, 100%. I think the saving grace here is that she knows she has the family’s personal plastic surgeon on call, so if those smile lines pop up, she can just shoot a little Botox in there and that’ll fix her right up.

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Kim Kardashian can’t get pregnant again

kim kardashian kanye west

Kim Kardashian has been open about wanting to have another child with Kanye West. They’re already parents to North, of course, but given how big her own family is, it’s no surprise that they want to have a brood of ‘em. However, things aren’t exactly going to plan – apparently they’ve been trying for the past 9 months, to no avail, and chances are they won’t have any success in the future, either.

From TMZ:

Kim Kardashian is upset for a very good reason … as hard as she’s been trying, she can’t get pregnant.

Kim has been very open with friends and family … she and Kanye have been trying to have another baby for the last 9 months but nothing has worked. Kim has been to fertility doctors, but they’ve made it clear … having another baby is a long shot.

Turns out North West was a miracle baby … she had 3 specialists tell her she couldn’t get pregnant before North was conceived.

Kim and Kanye assumed the second baby would be easier since it worked once, but the doctors are telling her that’s not the case.

We’re told Kim is trying to reduce her stress and cut down on traveling … per doctor’s advice.

I mean, I guess that’s a shame and all, but if she’s so desperate to have more kids, there are PLENTY of kids who need adopting. Not that I would recommend that these two imbeciles raise ANY children, but it’d still be better than living in the foster system. Also, they do already have North, so if what she was wanting was the experience of being pregnant (which, let’s be honest, she’s bitched and moaned about nonstop ever since), then she’s had that. Upsetting? Sure. But certainly not the end of the world.

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Kim Kardashian sent Kris Jenner a very special email

kim kardashian kris jenner

I’m pretty sure Kris Jenner is some sort of evil mastermind, hell bent on controlling the lives of her daughters – each of whom she’s whored out to the highest bidder since they were able to make duck lips on Instagram – and everything about them: their money, their image, their business endorsements, etc. She also knows just how to put them in their places when they get a bit too cheeky for their own good. That has to be true, since I can’t think of another reason Kris felt the need to share an email sent to her by her most lucrative daughter (for the moment), Kim Kardashian:


I’m not quite sure what to make of the fact that Kim thinks Amish is spelled “omish”, though perhaps we can’t blame her for spelling phonetically. I suppose we should be lucky she can compose an email at all. Besides, maybe she’s right – maybe we do need more “chic, tights dresses” in our lives. What do I know?

Either way, I think Kris is an evil genius who thought, “Huh, you think you’re telling me something about fashion? I’ll humiliate you!”… though considering no one ever believed Kim was a Mensa scholar, I don’t know how effective that plan was.