Scarlett Johansson is looking good again. [The Superficial]

5 Dangers of Flirty Texting. [The Frisky]

Kim Kardashian’s “divorce” “turns ugly.” [TMZ]

Madonna made the Super Bowl what it was. [Starpulse]

The best Kate Hudson‘s ever looked? [Lainey Gossip]

Gisele Bundchen is a big, giant bitch, in case you didn’t know. [Lainey Gossip]

Lindsay Lohan slaughters poodles. [Socialite Life]

Nick Carter blew off his sister’s funeral because he had a prior engagement. [Amy Grindhouse]

New Star Trek series? [Pajiba]

Karl Lagerfeld calls Adele “too fat.” [Cele|bitchy]

Rihanna partied with Chris Brown AGAIN. [The Superficial]

Katharine McPhee’s nipples are bright pink I guess. [IDLYITW]

Who’s your favorite ginger? [theBERRY]

I’ve spent a lot of time on this site praising the can’t-do-wrong antics and styles of Rachel McAdams, and outside of this site, I’ve almost made a career out of it. Rachel will appear on a commercial, a film preview, or a movie, and I point out to my husband each and every single time, “She might be the prettiest lady I’ve ever seen.” It’s actually gotten to the point where, if my husband sees her before I do, he’ll do the favor and point it out for me: “She might be the prettiest lady you’ve ever seen, right?” I nod smugly and continue about my business, happy that I’m listened to so heartily.

However, these photos for the red carpet premiere of Rachel’s new movie, The Vow, are absolutely awful. The hair, the pancake makeup, the lipstick applied so thick that you just know there was a big goop of it on her teeth at some point – the matte ceramic doll look completely washes out Rachel’s normally, naturally rosy complexion, and makes her look rather ill. The sparse brown eyeshadow only reinforces the “I’m fighting a terminal illness” vibe, and it’s all no good.

Rachel, girl, I’m always behind you 100% (OK, I’ll be real: 99%), but this whole look is just not nice. It doesn’t mean I’ve lost any love for you, and I definitely still think you’re the prettiest lady I’ve ever seen, but if I was with my husband when I saw these photos, I’d be almost embarrassed for him to know me well enough to say, “I know; she’s might be the prettiest lady you’ve ever seen, right?” Because not only would he think I was blind, he might also be insulted by my taste in attractive people, too. People everywhere’d be offended.

Whoever your makeup stylist was for this premiere, Rach, you need to fire immediately and maybe even get some kind of restraining order.

Honestly, would you expect anything else? And truly, if this set of photos does not completely convince you that the womb of Beyonce has never been tainted by a common baby, then I don’t know what to tell you.

On the flip side, if you’re one of the few who actually do believe that Beyonce both carried – and birthed! – her own child, then you shouldn’t be surprised by this news, either. Beyonce and Jay-Z have six nannies on hand. Six nannies. For one child. I’d say that probably gives a more than sufficient amount of time to work out in your own personal gym pretty much, you know, 23 and-a-half hours out of the day over these last four weeks.

Yes, this is what Beyonce looks a short four weeks after giving birth, and it lends a whole lot of credence to the rumors that she took Prednisone, a steroid that has side-effects like facial swelling and weight gain, both of which were witnessed at only the very end of B’s pregnancy. The funny thing about Prednisone (my brother used to take it when he was a little kid; he had some health issues of his own) is that once you stop taking it, the facial swelling and weight gain goes away almost immediately – especially if you haven’t been taking it long-term.

The Beyonce photos were captured while she attended her husband’s show at Carnegie Hall in New York City, where he performed ‘Glory’, the song he wrote for his daughter, for the first time. Here’s a clip:

Sources close to Jay-Z say that after the reportedly-exhausting show, Beyonce and the hubs snacked out on celery and champagne, so maybe it isn’t all a loss, Beyonce stopping that Prednisone or hot wings or whatever it actually was. The health benefits of this child being in their lives are, by far, heavily outweighing the idea that Beyonce probably didn’t give birth to that child, and that’s good. Because when two people who can afford to bedazzle their baby’s bottles and provide them with round-the-clock nanny care in sets of three, it’s refreshing to see that their tastes wander to the conventional, and the healthy, too. You know?

It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize. Sure hope you registered with a valid email address!

We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!

The winner on last week’s Kristen Stewart photo: Anonymous
“OW! There goes my bottom lip…”

First runner-up: Stacey
“Proof that the world will end in 2012 – Kristin Stewart shows an emotion other than boredom.”

Second runner-up: Anonymous
“She boogied in the kitchen. She boogied in the hall. She boogied on her finger and wiped it on the wall.”

Congrats to Anonymous! As for the rest of you, get commenting if you want to win some free crap!

I’ve got to hand it to Andrew Garfield. I wasn’t sure about him at first, you know? Sure, he’s a great actor. But he’s so skinny! So young-looking! He is hardly ideal for action-heroics.

And yet! It turns out he makes a heck of a Peter Parker in this, The Amazing Spider-Man trailer, and my word, he cuts a striking figure in that skin-tight red suit. (What’s that? Baby-faced Andrew Garfield is actually 28 years old, you say? Oh, thank God.)

Embedded above is the movie’s first 3D trailer. Of course it isn’t actually in 3D, not for plebes like us, but Screen Rant promises that the movie, shot in “true 3D,” will deliver.

How darling is Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy, you guys? And I hardly recognized Rhys Ifans as Dr. Curt Connors. It stings that the role is no longer filled by Dylan Baker, but Ifans strikes the right chord between “empathetic” and “potentially insidious,” right? Phew.

Are you guys getting excited or what?

The movie hits U.S. theaters July 3.

(Images via The Hollywood Reporter.)

Before you start asking, yes, this is real life. This picture was not Photoshopped, and Kim Kardashian and LeAnn Rimes really hung out together. At church. Because they go to the same church. Because this is a crazy, f*cked up world.

From E!:

On Sunday, the duo attended Life Change Community Church service in Agoura Hills, Calif.

Kardashian, 31, and Rimes, 29, are also both fans of Brad Johnson, the church’s esteemed pastor…

But the E! reality icon and the hit-making country star weren’t the only ones singing from the hymn book. Kourtney Kardashian, Mason Disick and Kris Jenner joined Kim at the service, and Rimes’ hubby Eddie Cibrianjoined her for worship.

“Great seeing you and the fam,” LeAnn tweeted to Kim. “See you soon! Xoxo”

Kim, who described her churchgoing Sunday as the “perfect day,” echoed Rimes’ enthusiasm. “You too babe!” she replied. “See you soon! Xoxo”

In addition to going to church together, these two lovable girls also had lunch together on Friday.

Where do I even go with this one? Am I supposed to be able to imagine a world where the likes of Kim Kardashian and LeAnn Rimes, two of the biggest famewhores out there, team up to take over the world? Where Kim and LeAnn tweet each other constantly, and make horrible fashion choices together and get accused of homewrecking together and practice deep-throating together? Because I can’t do that. My mind simply cannot take it.

How do you guys feel on this one? Is this a match made in heaven, or is it just too much for this world to handle?

Image courtesy of E!