Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Kanye West is afraid North West will get electrocuted by a drone while swimming

kim kardashian kanye west house

Kanye West‘s testimony at his Los Angeles assault trial against a paparazzi is just too fucking rich, man. While yesterday we heard that he claimed he’s the smartest celebrity there is, today we hear of his deep-seated fears: that paparazzi will fly drones over his house, lose control of said drones and then crash them into the pool while his 1-year-old daughter is swimming, thereby electrocuting her to death. Uh…

From TMZ:

In the depo … Kanye sarcastically asks the photog’s lawyer, “Is your daughter stalked by like drones? Are there drones flying where she’s trying to learn how to swim at age 1?”

Kanye goes on … “Wouldn’t you like to just teach your daughter how to swim without a drone flying? What happens if a drone falls right next to her?  Would it electrocute her?”

As for how that could happen, Kanye says, “Could it fall and hit her if that paparazzi doesn’t understand how to remote control the drone over their house?”

Oh, dear. I mean… what? I suppose this goes a ways in explaining why he and Kim just abandoned the house they were renovating to buy a new one for $20 million in Hidden Hills, California. It has its own vineyard, two spas, two swimming pools, two barbeque centers (JEALOUS) and is set on 3.5 acres of land. More money than sense, I’ve always said.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Kate Moss told Justin Bieber to stop being an asshole

kate moss justin bieber

It seems like everybody who’s nobody (or should be nobody) was in Ibiza last week for designer Riccardo Tisci’s birthday celebration. Justin Bieber was there, as were the Kardashians and Jenners and supermodels like Kate Moss. It seems young Justin thought he could be well in with Kate and sauntered up to her at the party with all of his undeniable ~*sWaGgEr*~… only to be rebuffed and told off. YAAAAASSSS!

From The Telegraph:

“Kate had a huge go at him and told him he needed to behave,” reports The Sun. “She was giving Bieber some choice words like a teacher after the singer asked to be introduced.” All while wearing a very responsible outfit of latex underwear and a fishnet dress. Just like a teacher.

“He’d gone up to say hi to [Kate] like his usual cocky self, expecting her to gush over him,” the source continues. “It was quite a slap in the face.”

It’s unfortunate that it wasn’t an actual slap in the face, but we’ll take what we can get, I suppose. I love that he really thought Kate Moss was going to buy his bullshit, though. Kate has seen and done it all and does not have time for that nonsense. Move along, little boy.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Christina Aguilera wants to fight world hunger

christina aguilera hunger relief

Christina Aguilera is heavily pregnant with her second child, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have time for charity! On Tuesday, she debuted her campaign for World Hunger Relief’s Pass the Red Cup challenge, which benefits the U.N.’s World Food Programme. I had no idea, but Christina has been the global spokesperson for the WHR since 2009, so she’s just continuing her efforts here.

As she wrote in a blog entry for Huffington Post:

“It’s heartbreaking to me that in our social media driven, increasingly-connected world, nearly 850 million people go to bed hungry each night. And this includes far too many children. It’s a subject so close to my heart and has been for a long time, being a mom.”

Aguilera reflected on her time in Rwanda, where she spent time at a refugee camp. “They told me how they escaped violence in the Democratic Republic of Congo,” she recalled of the people. “Their courage and hope for a better life was incredible. On my trip, I served food to kids who walk miles to and from school each day to receive a hot meal. I also went to Haiti after the earthquake hit a few years ago and saw its devastating effects on many families. Kids there were so happy just to get rice and beans from WFP.”

Well, good for her – it’s a great effort and with the amount of food on this planet – not to mention the amount of food waste – there is no reason anyone should be going hungry.

christina aguilera hunger relief

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin are one step closer to being husband and wife

george clooney amal alamuddin

George Clooney shocked the world and broke the hearts of many women the world over when he announced his engagement to girlfriend Amal Alamuddin back in April, and it seems his path to becoming hitched is getting that much closer, since the couple got their marriage license in London this week!

From DListed (I bow down at the altar of Michael K on the daily):

Dlisted reader Susan sent in this picture she took today outside of Chelsea Town Hall in London of the announcement that Amal Ramzi Alamuddin and George Timothy Clooney got their asses a marriage license and plan to get married in Italy. I didn’t know that in London marriage licenses are announced on a piece of paper behind glass outside of town hall. I thought that a messenger wearing a fancy coat and a fancy hat with a fancy feather sticking out of it stood at the top of the stairs, pulled out a scroll and read, “Here ye, here ye, here ye! Oxford-educated international human rights lawyer Amal Alamuddin has obtained a license to marry Booker from Roseanne. May the failed tears of gold digging, fame whore cocktail waitresses commence!” That announcement is kind of like a magic eye poster. If you stare at it long enough, you’ll see four horsemen galloping toward you while farting out four swarms of locusts.

The picture in question can be seen over at DListed – it’s blurry and not anything special, but it does go to show that the nuptials you’ll cry over for the next 6 months are forthcoming VERY shortly.

Do we think these two will last? I kinda have a feeling this one is legit and will be for keeps!

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Kanye West calls himself “the smartest fucking celebrity you’ve ever dealt with”

kanye west photographer

Nothing like some serious delusions of grandeur to brighten up your Wednesday. This time around, it’s from Kanye West (but when isn’t it?) and comes in the form of some of his testimony from that assault case with the photographer at LAX.

TMZ got a hold of the tape of Kanye’s testimony and oh man, it’s a doozy:

Kanye explains to Nate Goldberg, the photog’s lawyer, “I’m in the business of trying to make dope s**t for the world.  You’re in the business of representing scums and trying to make as much money as long as there’s this lapse in the law.”
Goldberg grills Kanye about his song, “Flashing Lights,” — a rant against the paparazzi.  Goldberg quotes from the song, “Till I get flashed by the paparazzi, damn, these ni**as got me.”

At that point Kanye interrupts, “You have to ask for a hall pass.  You can’t just say the ‘n’ word around me.” adding, “It offends me because you’re a white person saying ‘ni**a.’”

Kanye says there’s a parallel between blacks fighting for civil rights in the ’60s and celebs fighting for theirs today:  “I mean in the ’60s people used to hold up ‘Die N****r’ signs when my parents were in the sit-ins also.”   Goldberg asks if he equates the struggle of blacks in the past with celebrities today and Kanye says, “Yes, 100 … I equate it to discrimination.  I equate it to inequalities.”

Kanye goes on, “We, as group of minorities here in L.A., as celebrities have to ban together to influence guys like this — guys trying to take the picture, guys trying to get the big win, guys trying to get the check.”

The depo is riddled with Kanye’s sarcasm.  When Goldberg asks where he lives, Kanye replies, “Earth.”

LOL, I love that Kanye is getting mad that a white lawyer is questioning him about a lyric from his own song. The lawyer isn’t calling you that word, nor is he using it in general conversation. He is literally quoting from something you wrote – calm down. Oh, and the other quote not listed above? “I’m the smartest fucking celebrity you’ve ever dealt with. I’m not Britney Spears.”

Uh… I don’t think anyone could ever be confused about that. I seriously have never seen narcissism and delusion in such a high concentration as it appears in Kanye West. This guy thinks he’s God’s gift to planet earth, and I’m not quite sure who gave him that idea.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Gwyneth Paltrow likes being slapped in the face

gwyneth paltrow 2014

Okay, so that headline was slightly misleading. What Gwyneth Paltrow actually enjoys are “aggressive facials” (i.e. cosmetic procedures without actual scalpels) that feel like you’re having rubber bands snapped against your face repeatedly. Mmm, sounds relaxing!

From Hello! (via E!):

The actress told Hello! magazine that she loves the effective but not-so-pleasant Thermage laser treatment. “It’s non-invasive but it’s quite painful, like having your face smacked with a rubber band that has an electric shock in it. But it works.”

The Thermage treatment is also commonly known as the “face-ironing treatment.” Yikes. Sound painful enough for you? But there’s a reason why stars like Gwyneth keep coming back for more. The treatment boosts collagen levels in the skin’s lower layers, creating a tightening effect to the top layer.

But even if you’re up for the pain, Thermage laser treatments will cost you. A half-face treatment costs around $3,900, while a full-face treatment comes with the hefty price tag of $5,240.

Girl, just go get the full facelift like you’ll end up doing anyway – you could probably get one for the price of two of those “facials” you’re after.

I’m cool with whatever, but I wish Goop would get off her lifestyle high horse and stop acting like she’s above all the other women getting older in Hollywood because she’s so holistic. Bullshit. Those “facials” are cosmetic procedures tantamount to plastic surgery, just done with lasers (which is kinda the wave of the future, anyway). Same effect, same purpose – and totally rich from someone who proclaimed that Botox is “vain”. Sorry to break it to you, Gwyneth, but you and Kris Jenner are more alike than you think.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook