Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Adrien Brody for Lacoste, Just Because I WANT HIM

So, I was online shopping for husband-clothes this morning, and I went to Lacoste’s website to see what their latest line looked like. And, like it was meant to be or something, I saw this as soon as I hit the homepage:

photo of adrien brody for lacoste pictures
Man, isn’t this just so hot? And if you think the video’s hot, and the screenshot is hot, then don’t watch the corresponding interview videos that I’m about to post, because if you happen to watch those before seeing the above behind-the-scenes footage of the interview, you’re going to be completely turned off.

Now, don’t get me wrong—I love me some Adrien Brody, harder than I’ve ever loved another celebrity in my time on this earth (maybe with the exception of Isaac Hanson when I was fifteen years younger, but that’s entirely aside from the fact besides the point that it’s apparent I’m attracted to odd-looking men), and he’s always super-well-spoken and cultured, but this interview? Oh man. It was bad, guys. Just utterly f-cking awful. The questions were dumb, and Adrien’s obviously-hand-crafted answers were even worse. Do you know what Adrien has to “say” about sports? This:

Sports are very dramatic, you know, there are winners and there are losers. In order for one person to win, the other person has to fail, as far as team sports go. Those are lessons and every failure makes you stronger.

Wait, has he been talking to my 6th grade gym teacher? And where’s the “There’s no ‘i’ in team!”? I’m disappointed!

Damn.

And there are a variety of other videos on Lacoste’s YouTube page that you can check out and mock to the best of your ability, too, because there’s a lot to work with. Bottom line? Does this (undeniably beautiful) man just like to talk nonsense because he likes the sound of his voice? Because if that’s so, then this depresses me as much as this miserably rainy day, guys. I mean, do you know what all this rain is going to do to my grass? I’m going to be riding my lawn tractor all damned weekend.

Also. Adrien. I hate the fluffy hair. Since you’re so chic and in-the-know, you should probably do something about that, bro.

Anna Paquin is Having a Baby

photo of Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer pics true blood photos
From Entertainment Weekly:

True Blood costars Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer are expecting, their reps confirmed to EW today. The pregnancy is Paquin’s first; Moyer, 42, has two children from previous relationships. Paquin, 29, is due this fall. The couple were married in Malibu, Calif., in 2010 after meeting on the set of True Blood ‘s pilot season in 2007.

Isn’t that so, so great? I’m always like, “Wow,” too, when I remember that Anna Paquin is only twenty-nine years old, because I’ll be twenty-nine in June, and it always floors me that, though Anna seems to have been around as an adult my entire waking life, she’s just a few months older than I am. And she’s so hot, but she’s married to that Stephen Moyer dude. Much like I am over how some people are all obsessed with Alexander Skarsgard (or maybe it’s just True Blood and vampires in general), I don’t get this guy’s appeal all that much, either. He’s OK, I guess, but all I’m saying is that this baby will be genetically blessed if it ends up looking more like its mother than its father, you know?

As for True Blood, this year’s series premiere airs on June 10th, a mere three days before I turn twenty-nine. The premiere is highly anticipated by its following, and I won’t be watching. Oh! And also, how are they going to tie this into True Blood‘s story line for next year, if it’s renewed*? Are the show’s developers going to pull a Twilight and Sookie’ll give birth to a vampire baby? Is that going to explain why she’s growing a bulbous belly and is suffering debilitating morning sickness? Will there be bloodletting and vampire venom to help with the child’s delivery? Best of all, will there be werewolves present to assist in the process? Sure hope so!

*I’m totally kidding. I actually know nothing about this show. I mean, could this even potentially happen without some kind of infringement lawsuit, do you think?

Kim Kardashian Is Running for Mayor

A photo of Kim Kardashian

It’s true: if you live in Los Angeles, specifically Glendale, then it might be time to pack up and find a new neighborhood, because in about five years’ time, Kim Kardashian is going to attempt to run your town.

From E! Online:

Seeing how Kim Kardashian has pretty much done it all, what’s left?

Well, if the E! reality star has her way, she may someday be entering the political arena!

Yep. You read that right.

In the above bonus clip from Khloé & Lamar (airing Sundays at 10 p.m. on E!), Kim tells sister Khloé Kardashian Odom, “I’ve decided I’m going to run for the mayor of Glendale.”

However, Kim goes on to explain that “you have to have residency” in the Los Angeles suburb, so she plans on buying a home in the area.

“It’s going to be in, like, five years,” she says of actually pursuing her political ambitions in a city where many of the residents share Kim’s Armenian roots.

Fortunately for Kim, it looks like she already has a couple of influential folks on her side.

“I would support her,” Glendale City Councilman Rafi Manoukian told E! News. “I think she would make an excellent mayor.”

Meanwhile, City Councilman and former Glendale mayor Ara Najarian said he thinks “it’s a great idea,” adding, “I have offered her the position of honorary chief of staff to my office to help her get acquainted to Glendale.”

Najarian went on to explain that to be mayor of Glendale, Kim would have to run for city council, from which they elect the mayor. The term would last one year.

According to the Glendale City Clerk’s Office, there have been no inquiries yet from any potential candidates regarding the 2017 Glendale municipal elections.

I can’t tell what’s crazier: the fact that Kim actually thinks she has a chance of pursuing a political career, or the fact that other politicians are supporting her. Did everyone forget that Kim is famous for making a sex tape, being an entitled brat, and having a gigantic ass? Those are her credentials. That’s what Kim Kardashian does. But no, for sure, let her be in charge of a town. Sounds like a great idea.

Oh wait, I think I figured out what’s craziest about this whole thing. It’s Kim’s insistence on wearing the most awful pants she can find. That’s the truly insane part of all of this. Look at those things. That’s headed your way, Glendale.