Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Hilary Duff and Kate Beckinsale Talk Post-Baby Bodies

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You know what I love? Seriously, all joking aside? When I hear certain celebrities talking like they’re normal people, when everyone thinks that the idea couldn’t be further from the truth for some of them. See, Hilary Duff has been a big proponent of “the weight’ll come off when the weight comes off,” and now Kate Beckinsale‘s jumping on the wagon, too, because she apparently put on a crap-ton of weight during her pregnancy (though you wouldn’t know it to look at her size zero body now).

From a recent interview with Glamour UK, Kate on pregnancy and what it does to womens’ bodies:

“There’s an obsessional hatred of normal human processes. Pregnancy changes a woman’s body and it should. It isn’t normal to not look like you’ve had a baby immediately after you’ve had a baby. I was gigantic after I had Lily – I put on a good 3 ½ stone, and it didn’t go ‘til I stopped breast feeding… I was lucky that Britain wasn’t so paparazzi-orientated [then]. I was allowed to get on with it and enjoy my baby – and figure out what being a mother was all about instead of worrying about [fitting into] my f**king jeans.”

Which I agree with. Women would be better off focused on the important things post-baby, and not—if I can take a page out of Kate’s vocabulary book—fitting into their f-cking jeans.

Hilary, who was also under fire this past week for—oh my God, can you imagine—wearing a bathing suit in public when she’s not yet “done” losing her baby weight (see above photo), responds through In Touch magazine and has some point-blank things to say about those criticizing her body and those dwelling on shit that just. doesn’t. matter:

“Say it to my face. I’m not perfect, but I feel fantastic. This is how it goes for most women – the weight doesn’t fall off overnight. I don’t care what people say. I’m not back to where I want to be, but I’m not stressing it.”

This was in response to certain critics who claim that Hilary is disgusting and slovenly and lazy because she’s not back to her former weight a whole THIRTEEN WEEKS after her son, Luca Cruz, was born. Here’s the best of the comments, also from In Touch:

“A month or so ago I was concerned that she wouldn’t even try to lose weight,” wrote one online critic. “Now I’m convinced she doesn’t even care how she looks, gross!”

Can we get an ‘amen’ here? Seriously, guys.

Caption This: Last Week’s Winner and This Week’s Photo!

photo of beyonce and jay z kanye west kim kardashian at bet awards pics
It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize. Sure hope you registered with a valid email address!

We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!

The winner on last week’s Prince Charles photo: Anonymous
“I must say old chap, I really am having trouble keeping my composure. She told me she actually believes John Travolta is straight.”

First runner-up: puddin
Lady: Would you like to try my muffins?
Chas: *Mmf!* That’s what she said…

Second runner-up: evilbeetdouche
“OMG, she actually pronounced it ‘Bouquet’.”

Congrats to Anonymous! As for the rest of you, get commenting if you want to win some free crap!

theAMlinks

photo of matt leblanc pictures
Boobs in a bikini. [The Superficial]

11 Places to Have Sex on the 4th of July. [The Frisky]

Katie Holmes is getting NOTHING from the prenup. [TMZ]

Ashley Tisdale and Tom Cruise have something in common. [Starpulse]

Katie Holmes loses her ring. [Socialite Life]

Whitney Houston‘s mother does a tribute to Whitney Houston. [Yeeeah]

Simon Cowell thinks Britney Spears is just shy. [Amy Grindhouse]

Random geek products you’ll probably want. [theBERRY]

Kate Beckinsale says that pregnancy changes a woman’s body. But she’s talking about everyone else, not herself, duh. [Cele|bitchy]

Naomi Watts as Princess Diana. Wow. [IDLYITW]

What happened to Matt LeBlanc’s BODY? [I'm Not Obsessed]

PHOTOS: Mila stroking Ashton. [Lainey Gossip]

Awkward photos of Beyonce and Kim Kardashian. Together. [Lainey Gossip]

A review of ‘Prometheus‘. [The Superficial]

BREAKING: Andy Griffith, 86, Dies

photo of black and white andy griffith pictures
From People:

TV icon Andy Griffith passed away at his home in Manteo, N.C., Tuesday morning. He was 86.

Andy’s close friend, former UNC President Bill Friday, broke the news to North Carolina’s WITN News, saying Griffith died at his Dare County home around 7:00 a.m.

Born in Mount Airy, N.C., Griffith starred in TV favorites Matlock and The Andy Griffith Show and even made guest appearances on shows including Dawson’s Creek.

Griffith was also a Grammy award-winning southern gospel singer, and received the Presidential Medal of Freedom from George W. Bush in 2005.

So, so sad. Another American icon is gone. First Dick Clark, now Andy Griffith … who’s next?

I’m Officially in Love With Brad Pitt’s Brother

Well. How is it that Doug has stayed in Brad’s shadow for even this long? He’s positively adorable and endearing and his deadpan delivery of such funny lines is pure talent. He’s like a hot Mister Rogers. Who I would totally do.

Man, if it weren’t for this Katie Holmes-Tom Cruise thing, Doug and his Virgin promo might actually have a shot at being number one in celebrity news today.

Isn’t he just darling, guys? Don’t you just want to kiss him and hug him and make him your very own Pitt?

Sofia Vergara Was Almost Katie Holmes

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Here’s an excerpt from Tom Cruise: An Authorized Biography, written by Andrew Morton, and guys—it’s pretty heavy stuff. Not that I’m going to pretend to be all-knowing about how authorizing a biography works or whatever, but why would Tom Cruise go ahead and OK this project? I have positively no doubts at all that everything Morton says is true, but it certainly doesn’t paint a very humane or compassionate or even likable picture of Tom Cruise, that’s for damn sure. From Tom Cruise: An Authorized Biography:

Top of his wish list of future wives was curvy Colombian-born model, Sofia Vergara, now the star of Modern Family. She was first contacted in Montreal, Canada, where she was shooting the bloody revenge movie, Four Brothers. Cruise’s fellow Scientologist Will Smith sent her an invitation asking her to join him at the pre-Oscar party he and his wife Jada Pinkett Smith were hosting in February 2005 in Los Angeles. She had never met the Smiths but was intrigued and went along.

The next day the remorsely romantic star sent her flowers, notes and chocolates. She even read some of his gushing text messages to her pals. Vergara, at 5ft 7ins and as tall as her beau, played it cool. After all the actress voted one of the world’s sexiest women by FHM magazine had dated any number of eligible bachelors including Mark Wahlberg.

Cruise continued his charm offensive inviting her and her son, Manolo, to play with his two adopted children, Connor and Isabel. It was not long before Cruise casually suggested that Vergara join him on a trip to Scientology Celebrity Centre in Hollywood. There she met Cruise’s good friend, David Miscavige, the head of the controversial organization founded by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard. Vergara, raised a strict Catholic, was given Scientology literature and encouraged to bring her mother Margarita along for her next visit.

Cruise was keen, only leaving her side when she had to return to Montreal to finish filming. Although they had only known each other for a matter of weeks, the relationship had become so intense that marriage looked the next logical step. One friend told me: “She met his children, there was no doubt he was auditioning her for the part of his wife. If she had been interested she would today be the next Mrs. Cruise.Was it going to go further? No doubt about it. He wanted to marry her – that was the idea.” Cruise had found a feisty, athletic adventurous mother who could provide him with what he craved – a child of his own.

As affectionate and attentive as Cruise was, Vergara found the world of Scientology cloying and suffocating. She felt she was being followed or watched and that her phone calls were being monitored. It was as if Cruise and Scientology were trying to take over her life.

At some point, it was made clear that if their relationship was going to end in wedding bells she had to renounce her Catholic faith and join an organization that believes in immortality. “She was fundamentally terrified by Scientology,” recalls a friend. “She sincerely believed that she would be struck down by God and burn in hell if she joined. That is what she said.”

Sassy, street smart and obstinate, Vergara, who had survived thyroid cancer, proved immune to Cruise’s charm. “She had plenty of opportunity to hitch her wagon to Hollywood and to Tom,” recalls a friend. “She was not swayed by that.” On an Easter weekend in 2005, the couple had arranged to go to Clearwater, Fla. Scientology headquarters. Instead she stood him up, packed a bag and “headed for the hills.”

Even as the blooms on the flowers sent to Vergara by Cruise were fading, he was romancing a wholesome wide-eyed girl from America’s heartland, ex-Dawson’s Creek star Holmes. Vergara recognized her own narrow escape when she saw the TomKat show on television. Unlike Vergara, Holmes signed up for Scientology before Cruise even asked the question. “Sofia pitied the poor girl,” recalls a friend. “Katie is a much weaker more innocent person than Sofia.”

So wait. Can we really imagine a dead-eyed Sofia Vergara? Come on. Wouldn’t happen. Tom Cruise should feel lucky that he “escaped” Sofia, because his ass would be dead if he tried to pull half the crap he’s pulled on Katie, on Sofia. Matter of fact, it’s a shame things didn’t work out between the two of them. Then we wouldn’t have someone like Tom Cruise playing someone like Jack Reacher.

Katie Holmes Was Never That Into The Whole Scientology Thing

A photo of Katie Holmes

As of right now, I don’t know all that much about Scientology. Basically, I know about the things that South Park has made fun of and the things that are mentioned in passing in gossips about Tom Cruise. I know the basics of Xenu and auditing and thetans, but that’s about it. However, that’s more than enough to realize that the whole thing is f-cking crazy.

And thankfully, it looks like Katie Holmes realized that exact same thing years ago:

Katie Holmes was always “careful” with what she said and never revealed too much during Scientology auditing sessions that she partook in during her time with Tom Cruise, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

“Katie wasn’t exactly forthcoming with information during her Scientology audit/confessions,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.com. “Katie’s father, Martin, advised her to be careful with what she said during these sessions so that nothing negative could get leaked to the press or be used to make her look bad.

“Look, Katie led a very ordinary and honest life before she met Tom and tried to continue to do so during the time she was with him. Katie is level headed and extremely smart. She was never completely committed to Scientology, but she participated because she truly was in love with Tom and she knew it meant a lot to him. Her heart just wasn’t in it though, she was always guarded and careful during the auditing sessions with what she revealed.”

As we previously reported, Katie Holmes’ family has been getting information for years on “the iron grip” that Scientology has on Cruise’s personal and business life, ex-high ranking Scientologist Marty Rathbun told RadarOnline.com in an exclusive interview. “I did audit sessions with Tom Cruise from 2001-2004 and I can tell you that I have a friend that has been providing Katie Holmes’ family information for years with information about the iron grip the Church of Scientology has on Tom Cruise’s family and professional life. This has been going on for at least four years,” he said.

The audit sessions with Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise were ALWAYS either audiotaped or videotaped, according to Rathbun. “Yes, the sessions were either audiotaped or videotaped, and those remain with the Church of Scientology. The Church definitely would have wanted to know Katie’s every thought,” Rathbun tells RadarOnline.com exclusively.

According to church literature, “Auditing is a central practice in Scientology through which a practitioner is cleared of negative influences known as engrams in order to heighten spiritual awareness and access currently untapped potential. Auditing sessions involve two people: the person being audited and an auditor. The person being audited is generally referred to as a pre-Clear in public Scientology literature, although Clears continue to participate in a similar process. The auditor monitors a device known as an electro-psychometer, or E-meter. The pre-Clear holds a metal cylinder in each hand, both of which are attached by wires to the E-meter.”

It seems like Katie’s reluctance to divulge information to the church will do her some good, as will the fact that Katie’s parents have information about Tom’s involvement with Scientology. In a perfect world, Tom will get scared of having that information leaked and let Katie have sole custody of Suri, but obviously we don’t live in a perfect world. We live in a world where Jerry Maguire is part of a terrifying cult that wants to sign his six-year-old daughter up for a billion (literal) years of servitude to Xenu or the Galactic Confederacy or whatever. Honestly, the whole “history” of Scientology reads like a really bad sci fi novel, and it makes it kind of hard to follow.

Either way, Team Katie. Team Katie for life.