Today's Evil Beet Gossip

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photo of matt leblanc pictures
Boobs in a bikini. [The Superficial]

11 Places to Have Sex on the 4th of July. [The Frisky]

Katie Holmes is getting NOTHING from the prenup. [TMZ]

Ashley Tisdale and Tom Cruise have something in common. [Starpulse]

Katie Holmes loses her ring. [Socialite Life]

Whitney Houston‘s mother does a tribute to Whitney Houston. [Yeeeah]

Simon Cowell thinks Britney Spears is just shy. [Amy Grindhouse]

Random geek products you’ll probably want. [theBERRY]

Kate Beckinsale says that pregnancy changes a woman’s body. But she’s talking about everyone else, not herself, duh. [Cele|bitchy]

Naomi Watts as Princess Diana. Wow. [IDLYITW]

What happened to Matt LeBlanc’s BODY? [I'm Not Obsessed]

PHOTOS: Mila stroking Ashton. [Lainey Gossip]

Awkward photos of Beyonce and Kim Kardashian. Together. [Lainey Gossip]

A review of ‘Prometheus‘. [The Superficial]

BREAKING: Andy Griffith, 86, Dies

photo of black and white andy griffith pictures
From People:

TV icon Andy Griffith passed away at his home in Manteo, N.C., Tuesday morning. He was 86.

Andy’s close friend, former UNC President Bill Friday, broke the news to North Carolina’s WITN News, saying Griffith died at his Dare County home around 7:00 a.m.

Born in Mount Airy, N.C., Griffith starred in TV favorites Matlock and The Andy Griffith Show and even made guest appearances on shows including Dawson’s Creek.

Griffith was also a Grammy award-winning southern gospel singer, and received the Presidential Medal of Freedom from George W. Bush in 2005.

So, so sad. Another American icon is gone. First Dick Clark, now Andy Griffith … who’s next?

I’m Officially in Love With Brad Pitt’s Brother

Well. How is it that Doug has stayed in Brad’s shadow for even this long? He’s positively adorable and endearing and his deadpan delivery of such funny lines is pure talent. He’s like a hot Mister Rogers. Who I would totally do.

Man, if it weren’t for this Katie Holmes-Tom Cruise thing, Doug and his Virgin promo might actually have a shot at being number one in celebrity news today.

Isn’t he just darling, guys? Don’t you just want to kiss him and hug him and make him your very own Pitt?

Sofia Vergara Was Almost Katie Holmes

photo of tom cruise and sofia vergara pictures
Here’s an excerpt from Tom Cruise: An Authorized Biography, written by Andrew Morton, and guys—it’s pretty heavy stuff. Not that I’m going to pretend to be all-knowing about how authorizing a biography works or whatever, but why would Tom Cruise go ahead and OK this project? I have positively no doubts at all that everything Morton says is true, but it certainly doesn’t paint a very humane or compassionate or even likable picture of Tom Cruise, that’s for damn sure. From Tom Cruise: An Authorized Biography:

Top of his wish list of future wives was curvy Colombian-born model, Sofia Vergara, now the star of Modern Family. She was first contacted in Montreal, Canada, where she was shooting the bloody revenge movie, Four Brothers. Cruise’s fellow Scientologist Will Smith sent her an invitation asking her to join him at the pre-Oscar party he and his wife Jada Pinkett Smith were hosting in February 2005 in Los Angeles. She had never met the Smiths but was intrigued and went along.

The next day the remorsely romantic star sent her flowers, notes and chocolates. She even read some of his gushing text messages to her pals. Vergara, at 5ft 7ins and as tall as her beau, played it cool. After all the actress voted one of the world’s sexiest women by FHM magazine had dated any number of eligible bachelors including Mark Wahlberg.

Cruise continued his charm offensive inviting her and her son, Manolo, to play with his two adopted children, Connor and Isabel. It was not long before Cruise casually suggested that Vergara join him on a trip to Scientology Celebrity Centre in Hollywood. There she met Cruise’s good friend, David Miscavige, the head of the controversial organization founded by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard. Vergara, raised a strict Catholic, was given Scientology literature and encouraged to bring her mother Margarita along for her next visit.

Cruise was keen, only leaving her side when she had to return to Montreal to finish filming. Although they had only known each other for a matter of weeks, the relationship had become so intense that marriage looked the next logical step. One friend told me: “She met his children, there was no doubt he was auditioning her for the part of his wife. If she had been interested she would today be the next Mrs. Cruise.Was it going to go further? No doubt about it. He wanted to marry her – that was the idea.” Cruise had found a feisty, athletic adventurous mother who could provide him with what he craved – a child of his own.

As affectionate and attentive as Cruise was, Vergara found the world of Scientology cloying and suffocating. She felt she was being followed or watched and that her phone calls were being monitored. It was as if Cruise and Scientology were trying to take over her life.

At some point, it was made clear that if their relationship was going to end in wedding bells she had to renounce her Catholic faith and join an organization that believes in immortality. “She was fundamentally terrified by Scientology,” recalls a friend. “She sincerely believed that she would be struck down by God and burn in hell if she joined. That is what she said.”

Sassy, street smart and obstinate, Vergara, who had survived thyroid cancer, proved immune to Cruise’s charm. “She had plenty of opportunity to hitch her wagon to Hollywood and to Tom,” recalls a friend. “She was not swayed by that.” On an Easter weekend in 2005, the couple had arranged to go to Clearwater, Fla. Scientology headquarters. Instead she stood him up, packed a bag and “headed for the hills.”

Even as the blooms on the flowers sent to Vergara by Cruise were fading, he was romancing a wholesome wide-eyed girl from America’s heartland, ex-Dawson’s Creek star Holmes. Vergara recognized her own narrow escape when she saw the TomKat show on television. Unlike Vergara, Holmes signed up for Scientology before Cruise even asked the question. “Sofia pitied the poor girl,” recalls a friend. “Katie is a much weaker more innocent person than Sofia.”

So wait. Can we really imagine a dead-eyed Sofia Vergara? Come on. Wouldn’t happen. Tom Cruise should feel lucky that he “escaped” Sofia, because his ass would be dead if he tried to pull half the crap he’s pulled on Katie, on Sofia. Matter of fact, it’s a shame things didn’t work out between the two of them. Then we wouldn’t have someone like Tom Cruise playing someone like Jack Reacher.

Katie Holmes Was Never That Into The Whole Scientology Thing

A photo of Katie Holmes

As of right now, I don’t know all that much about Scientology. Basically, I know about the things that South Park has made fun of and the things that are mentioned in passing in gossips about Tom Cruise. I know the basics of Xenu and auditing and thetans, but that’s about it. However, that’s more than enough to realize that the whole thing is f-cking crazy.

And thankfully, it looks like Katie Holmes realized that exact same thing years ago:

Katie Holmes was always “careful” with what she said and never revealed too much during Scientology auditing sessions that she partook in during her time with Tom Cruise, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

“Katie wasn’t exactly forthcoming with information during her Scientology audit/confessions,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.com. “Katie’s father, Martin, advised her to be careful with what she said during these sessions so that nothing negative could get leaked to the press or be used to make her look bad.

“Look, Katie led a very ordinary and honest life before she met Tom and tried to continue to do so during the time she was with him. Katie is level headed and extremely smart. She was never completely committed to Scientology, but she participated because she truly was in love with Tom and she knew it meant a lot to him. Her heart just wasn’t in it though, she was always guarded and careful during the auditing sessions with what she revealed.”

As we previously reported, Katie Holmes’ family has been getting information for years on “the iron grip” that Scientology has on Cruise’s personal and business life, ex-high ranking Scientologist Marty Rathbun told RadarOnline.com in an exclusive interview. “I did audit sessions with Tom Cruise from 2001-2004 and I can tell you that I have a friend that has been providing Katie Holmes’ family information for years with information about the iron grip the Church of Scientology has on Tom Cruise’s family and professional life. This has been going on for at least four years,” he said.

The audit sessions with Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise were ALWAYS either audiotaped or videotaped, according to Rathbun. “Yes, the sessions were either audiotaped or videotaped, and those remain with the Church of Scientology. The Church definitely would have wanted to know Katie’s every thought,” Rathbun tells RadarOnline.com exclusively.

According to church literature, “Auditing is a central practice in Scientology through which a practitioner is cleared of negative influences known as engrams in order to heighten spiritual awareness and access currently untapped potential. Auditing sessions involve two people: the person being audited and an auditor. The person being audited is generally referred to as a pre-Clear in public Scientology literature, although Clears continue to participate in a similar process. The auditor monitors a device known as an electro-psychometer, or E-meter. The pre-Clear holds a metal cylinder in each hand, both of which are attached by wires to the E-meter.”

It seems like Katie’s reluctance to divulge information to the church will do her some good, as will the fact that Katie’s parents have information about Tom’s involvement with Scientology. In a perfect world, Tom will get scared of having that information leaked and let Katie have sole custody of Suri, but obviously we don’t live in a perfect world. We live in a world where Jerry Maguire is part of a terrifying cult that wants to sign his six-year-old daughter up for a billion (literal) years of servitude to Xenu or the Galactic Confederacy or whatever. Honestly, the whole “history” of Scientology reads like a really bad sci fi novel, and it makes it kind of hard to follow.

Either way, Team Katie. Team Katie for life.

Adele Is Getting Engaged Soon, Too!

A photo of Adele

From Us Weekly:

Baby and a wedding!

Adele announced Friday that she and her boyfriend of nearly a year, Simon Konecki, are expecting their first child. But the “Rolling in the Deep” singer will also be expecting a wedding.

A source reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly, out now, that divorced dad Konecki, a 38-year-old nonprofit CEO, is in the market for a ring: “He was planning to propose anyway!”

The 23-year-old Grammy winner, who is nearly four months along, wrote on her Website Friday, “I’m delighted to announce that Simon and I are expecting our first child together. “I wanted you to hear the news direct from me, obviously we’re over the moon and very excited but please respect our privacy at this precious time. Yours always, Adele xx.”

Raised by a single mom, a pal tells Us that Adele “wants a low-key affair where her mother gives her away.”

More than anything, says the insider, “she wants to be a wife and mom.”

I’m so happy for Adele, I could just vomit, I really could. Can you even imagine how precious it will be to see a glowing, pregnant Adele? How adorable her little bitty ginger baby will be? How stunning she’ll look at her wedding? And I can’t even start thinking about what her next album is going like. A song as beautiful and emotional as “Someone Like You,” but about babies and love? Ugh. It would be game over, friends. Life couldn’t get any sweeter than that.

Katie Holmes Means Business

A photo of Katie Holmes and Suri

I don’t know about you guys, but personally, I can’t wait for the movie version of the Katie Holmes/Tom Cruise divorce. It would be an amazing movie, wouldn’t it? It could be on Lifetime by October, and Lindsay could be the star. Amazing.

While you guys think about the casting (Snooki as Suri?), let me fill you in with some more divorce developments. A lot has happened today, so let’s just do a quick breakdown, all right?

- Katie isn’t wearing her wedding ring anymore. Expect Tom to be photographed in the coming days with no ring and yellow fingernail polish.

- Katie is still working: she filmed a guest appearance on Project Runway: All Stars today, as planned. She was said to be “engaged, articulate, and wonderful.”

- Continuing with the “taking care of business” theme, Katie has fired her bodyguard, her driver, and her publicist because they were all “too close” to Tom and it was unclear whether or not they were Scientologists. She was seen today with five or six brand new bodyguards and a brand new driver, and she rehired her old publicist that she had before she met Tom.

- Apparently Katie knew that she wanted out last year, according to the divorce papers. Tom had no idea, so I guess that means that Katie was quietly plotting her escape all this time.

- Katie wants sole custody of Suri so that Tom can’t get her started on the “Scientology indoctrination process,” which sounds super chill and not at all terrifying. She’s not thrilled with how Tom’s older kids turned out, and she wants Suri to have a normal life. Good luck, girl.