Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Pippa Middleton’s Book is All Done

photo of pippa middleton pictures photos
Here’s some brand-new Pippa news: girlfriend’s gone and released that book she was writing. What book? Well, this book—a “comprehensive seasonal guide to simple and creative entertaining.” The book is called Celebrate: A Year of Festivities for Families and Friends, and that business sounds to be right up my alley. Good things, guys!

So, OK. Those affiliated (and in) the Royal Family are doing all sorts of things. You know, Writing Best-Selling Books, traveling the world as The Cutest Royal Couple Ever, and even Grabbing Balls in Las Vegas. We’ve got a crew of regular fabulousness right here, guys, and frankly, *I know who I’d be partying with.

*Duh! All of them! Pippa could plan, Will and Kate could attend and be cute, and Harry could strip for all of us! And a good time would be had by all!

Adele Probably Got Married, So We Missed That, I Guess

photo of adele in style magazine pictures wedding baby pic
According to sources at Life & Style magazine, Adele‘s gone and pulled a fast one on all of us (aside from that abrupt baby-having bomb she dropped a few months ago)—she’s probably married! Sources at Life & Style claim that Adele is over the moon about her pregnancy, and is definitely sporting that glow we all love so much:

“Adele was relaxed and calm, and she and Simon looked really great together. She seemed very, very happy. She absolutely does have a pregnancy glow.”

L&S also claims that Adele’s been recently spotted (see above cover) wearing a gold wedding-looking band on her all-important finger, and states that she and fiance, Simon Konecki, have already gotten married ahead of schedule:

“Adele and Simon managed to keep the baby news a secret for so long that there are rumors they’ve already gotten married, too. She’s an old-fashioned girl and can’t wait to be part of a family unit. She just wants to focus on the baby and the man she loves.”

Oh man. Guys, this chokes me right up. Seriously, the idea of the woman who penned (and belted) “Someone Like You” as an “old-fashioned girl” who glows at the thought of being “part of a family unit”? Girlfriend’s probably reached her life’s apex right here—and it definitely, definitely doesn’t get any better than this. Promise.

Love It or Leave It: LeAnn Rimes Wore This for Her 30th Birthday

[images removed on request] So, do we dislike this girl enough that I can come right out and say that she looks like a bag of smashed shit without getting any flak for it? Because even though yesterday was girlfriend’s 30th birthday, I’m going to go ahead and say that she looks like a bag of smashed shit. This, folks, is what happens when you let your smarmy husband dictate your facial and body choices and have a debilitating lack of self-esteem. And when you can’t stop changing your teeth around; that, too.

I want LeAnn to have a happy 30th birthday, really I do, but all I can see is her lion-head in these pictures and I cannot get past it. Seriously, whether it’s the weight loss or some kind of surgery or injectible, she’s starting to resemble the Cowardly Lion (albeit a really skinny Cowardly Lion).

Happy Belated Birthday, LeAnn, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Something else I mean from the bottom of my heart? This:

photo of the cowardly lion pictures

 

Demi Moore’s Going to Write an Ashton Kutcher Tell-All and I Will Probably Buy It

photo of demi moore and ashton kutcher pictures
So, Demi Moore might be writing a book, have you heard?

From Books & Review:

[Demi] has reportedly reached a deal worth $2 million with publisher HarperCollins to write a book. The book will be edited by Jennifer Barth, and backstopped by publisher Jonathan Burnham. According to sources they are still negotiating a delivery date and making a deal with a co-writer.

And what will the book be about? Come on. What else would it be about? Demi Moore, though she’s definitely more of a sympathetic soul these days than really anything else, used to be a bombshell in her day. She was an original member of the Brat Pack, and headlined a lot of really, really great movies that I love to this day. I mean, have you guys ever seen One Crazy Summer with Demi and John Cusack? Because it’s completely one of my most favorite movies of all time. Sources are saying that the book, however, will not only talk about Ashton and her six-year marriage to him, but will also cover what it was like to be in the legendary “Brat Pack”:

… Some say that it is not a trip down memory lane for the actress who got her start as a member of the Brat Pack. According some unnamed sources she met with publishers to personally pitch the book, which isn’t a memoir, but rather a specific story about her complex relationship with her mother, and how it impacted her life and career.

Another source told The Daily Star that Moore, left depressed and angry after Kutcher cheated on her, she decided to reap her revenge on him by signing a book contract. An insider claims, “We already had a great book outline from her in which she said she would write about overcoming her alcohol and cocaine addictions. Now she’s going to blow the lid on her six-year marriage to Ashton, so what would have been a best-selling book is going to become a blockbuster!”

But of course, now that Demi’s finally got something that she can get behind and be excited about and probably receive some decent press for (and, naturally, a chance to tell her side of things, which almost always works out in the way of good publicity), her nay-saying daughters are on the offense, wishing that their mom would drop the idea of a book and leave well enough alone:

“Demi’s daughters hate the idea – they don’t want their lives laid bare to whole world,” said a source close the family.

And of course they do. They’re nothing but self-centered little witches who think they’re better than everyone else because they’re the offspring of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis. Which couldn’t be further from the truth. The thing is, it’s pretty sad because they aren’t anyone of importance even though they are the offspring of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis.

All I know is that I’m a hundred percent behind Demi and this book. I think it’ll give her a chance to unload and allow people the perspective that they’ve been denied for so long, and hell. It’ll be pretty interesting, to boot.

And Now Lindsay Lohan’s Been Banned from the Chateau Marmont

photo of lindsay lohan making an angry face pictures photos
From TMZ:

Lindsay Lohan stiffed the famous Chateau Marmont hotel to the tune of $46,350.04, and she is now persona non grata.

TMZ has obtained a letter from the General Manager of the hotel where John Belushi infamously OD’d and died … The GM notes the hotel repeatedly requested payment for the 47 days Lindsay stayed there during the months of June and July … but LiLo never anted up.

Lindsay — who had been living at the hotel — was ordered to get her stuff out by 12 PM August 1. She was then banned from the entire property.

Now get this … We also got the itemized bill for June and July, and it’s clear — Lindsay spends like a drunken sailor.

– Minibar charges for the 47 days: $3,145.07. The highest daily tab … July 1st — $502.43!!!

– Cigarettes: $686. She blew through 49 packs in 47 days at $14 a pop

– Chateau Candle: $100

– Chateau restaurant: On July 4 Lindsay racked up a $1,992.07 bill. On top of that, she spent $685.96 that day on room service

Do you think we could yet say it’s official that Lindsay Lohan‘s back on her familiar downward spiral to three or four days in jail? Because I do. This is how it seems to start every time—Lindsay f-cks up, wants to be taken seriously, straightens up for a few weeks or months, and gets some “respectable” film or television show parts. After the smoke clears, and she’s got a few days of time on her hands, she’s back to the same old crack shenanigans of theft, drugs, and general work-related unreliability. I mean, honestly. What’s next, a coke-binge with Paris Hilton? Domestic disputes with Samantha Ronson? Dare I say it, those two ladies are just too good for our Lindsay these days, so no. I doubt it, actually.

Shia LaBeouf’s Girlfriend Is Pissed

A photo of Shia LaBeouf

Wouldn’t you be pissed if you were Shia LaBeouf‘s girlfriend? Pissed at Shia for being such a douchebag, pissed at yourself for making such questionable choices, pissed at the world for putting you in this position. It would be an unpleasant situation in many ways, for sure. But no, this time, Shia’s girlfriend has a pretty specific reason for being angry. It’s because Shia wants to have sex with other people. You know, for Art.

From Radar:

Despite putting on a brave face at the Lawless premiere last week, Shia LaBeouf’s “method” acting is destroying his relationship with girlfriend Karolyn Pho, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

The 26-year-old actor’s volatile romance with the up-and-coming designer hit the skids after the complex actor agreed to star in Nymphomaniac, the controversial movie by daring Danish filmmaker Lars von Trier. Shia has confirmed that he is expected to perform a real sex scene in the flick with one of his co-stars and Karolyn isn’t happy with it.

“They’ve been on the rocks ever since Shia agreed to star in Nymphomaniac,” a source close to the couple revealed. “Karolyn gets that Shia likes to go method and appreciates his artistic integrity. However, she thinks performing a real sex scene in a movie is going too far. It’s difficult for her to understand why it can’t be simulated – just like in other films. She wants him to do the film, because Shia was desperate to work with Lars – he’s such a hero of his. And she doesn’t mind if he strips off completely – she had no qualms about the Sigur Ros music video. But Karolyn doesn’t want him having sex with somebody else – simple. She’s begged Shia to ask Lars if it’s possible to make the scenes appear real, rather than shoot them real,” the source revealed.

Oh, please. Shia LaBeouf is not a “complex” actor. He’s the kid from Even Stevens and Holes who went on to be the guy from Transformers. If he’s made enough money to focus on the projects that he wants to do, or if he’s going through some phase where he wants to seem really edgy or whatever, then good for him. But let’s not pretend that Shia is a Very Serious Actor with Artistic Integrity who needs to be left alone about his Craft.

But I think it goes without saying that I’m on the girlfriend’s side here. Unless you have some sort of prior agreement, or sometimes even if you do, it’s not ridiculous to be upset when your significant other announces that he’s going to have sex with someone who isn’t you. I don’t care if it’s Art (it’s not), girlfriend has a right to be upset, both with Shia and with herself for falling for Louis Stevens. I mean, honestly.

Quotables: Kim Kardashian Is Such An Innovator

A photo of Kim Kardashian

It’s always funny to me when people say that I’m famous for being famous. I think it’s fascinating, because it’s still entertainment, you know? It’s fun to see the progression of that idea. I don’t take offense to it at all. I’m not naïve to the fact that I’m not a singer or an actress or anything like that. I’ve never claimed to be anything that I’m not. I think [reality] is still a new form of entertainment that was kind of an unexpected thing. It reminds me of rap music.

When rap music first came out, people were like, We don’t understand this, what is this, it’s just a fad. But rap music is definitely here to stay, and I think reality shows have proven they are as well. But when something is newer, people don’t really understand it. I think there was a quote where somebody said that reality stars will never get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. So, of course I’m so competitive that I think that it would be a huge achievement and a goal that anyone would want. I would love to break that mold.

- Kim Kardashian defends her family of artists and visionaries.

You know how you can have tons of fun talking smack about a celebrity or playfully teasing a friend or shining a light just out of your cat’s reach for a long, long time, but then all of a sudden something changes? Nothing about the person changes, and your friend’s feelings aren’t hurt, and goodness knows your cat will keep on jumping for that light until the end of time. But at some point, for whatever reason, it stops being fun and starts being really, really sad.

Yeah, that just happened after I read how Kim Kardashian thinks she can actually get a star on the Walk of Fame. Or after I saw that picture, the one at the top of this post, which Kim tweeted yesterday along with the caption “nighty night,” I can’t be sure which.