Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Zooey Deschanel

Love It or Leave It: Zooey Deschanel’s Plaid Mess

photo of zooey deschanel pictures writers guild awards pics photos
Don’t get me wrong – I love Zooey, and it’s not because some of you think I have to love her, being that I write for her website, Hello Giggles, as well, you’re wrong. I adore Zooey because I think she’s cute and quirky and relatable, and I think there are two groups of people when it comes to loving Zooey – those who do, and those who, well … don’t. I’m among the ones who do, but this dress? Oh dear Lord. Don’t even get me started.

See, I’m a big fan of plaid, despite the fact that everyone in my inner circle of family and friends absolutely abhor it. I like plaid shirts, plaid shorts, plaid skirts … plaid pajama pants, plaid socks, plaid panties … whatever. I love plaid and I’m unashamed to admit it. But this particular plaid? In this particular form? Is bad. Bad, bad, bad. It reminds me of a lightweight spring nightie, and while that’d normally be OK, it’s definitely not something you wear to an awards ceremony. Or at least, I wouldn’t, despite my love of plaid. Girlfriend’s hair and makeup are, as always, on par, but this dress is better left to those who’d wear it to bed instead. You know. Someone like me.

Hook a sister up, Zooey, and send me your cast-offs. I promise not to get egg yolk on it whilst eating breakfast in bed.

Zooey Deschanel Is on The Cover of Allure!

A photo of Zooey Deschanel

I absolutely love Zooey Deschanel. It’s not a secret. I think she’s one of the cutest girls out there, I simply adore her music, and everything I’ve ever seen her in, I’ve pretty much loved.

And yes, that definitely includes this issue of Allure.

On her hair: Deschanel is aware of how closely she’s associated with her hairstyle. “I’m bangs and eyes,” she says. “It’s who I am. There have been periods when I’ve grown my bangs out, but I always cut them back, so it’s like, why go through the trouble?”

On her sense of humor: “Because I have brown hair and a low voice, I would get cast as dry, sarcastic, ironic people, which I can do, but it’s not my sense of humor. I’m a very positive person. I get excited easily, and I like to jump around.”

On her avoidance of gossip blogs (!!!): Since becoming famous, Deschanel has learned to be vigilant about protecting herself from online gossip and mean comments. “I can’t go on Gawker. I actually think the writing is really funny, but there is a chance that somebody is undercutting me,” she says.

On her haters: Deschanel has both worshipful fans and snarky critics who find her overly girlish. Her defense? “If you feel like dressing like a girl, there’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t know why femininity should be associated with weakness. Women should be free to express who they are without thinking, I need to act like a man,or I need to tone it down to be successful. That’s a very good way to keep women down,” she says.

On her weight: While Deschanel watches her weight by sticking to a diet of vegetables, grains, and proteins, she isn’t obsessed. “Some people around me, they’re like 89 pounds,” she says. “I’m not going to say I’m a big girl. I’m a very small person, but I’m a healthy weight. That might be a little weird for Hollywood.”

On dealing with a broken heart: Deschanel recently separated from her husband of two years, Ben Gibbard, lead singer of the indie band Death Cab for Cutie. Before that announcement, she spoke about her character’s postbreakup comforts onNew Girl—Jess sobs while watching Dirty Dancing on loop—and revealed what might help her through a time of heartache: “I’d probably just go get out of my house. If I’m sad, I listen to happy music.”

On being an “it” girl: Deschanel finds irony in the label “It” girl. “‘It’ girl is supposed to be something that only lasts a certain amount of time,” she says. “They keep calling me an ‘It’ girl, and at this point it makes me laugh, because they’ve done that so many times: ‘You’re it’; ‘you’re not it.’ What is ‘it’?”

I just think this girl is so genuine. From reading tons and tons of blogs, day in and day out, I’ve found that a good amount of people disagree. A lot of people, it turns out, and as Zooey references above, think that dressing like a girly girl and tweeting pointlessly is somehow setting women back several years. And that’s just not true. Sure, Zooey’s style is super cutesy, and yes, she’s silly in sort of a childish way sometimes, but she’s not a child, and she’s not doing anything negative to women. She works hard, she’s smart, and she takes care of herself, and just because she asks for you to send her pictures of dogs in outfits doesn’t mean she’s somehow hurting an entire gender. That’s ridiculous.

What do you guys think? Are you loving or hating Zooey nowadays?

In SNL News: Daniel Radcliffe’s SNL Promos Unveiled; Zooey Deschanel Slated to Host Next Month

photo of daniel radcliffe for parade magazine pictures photos pics

All you Harry Potter fanatics are probably thrilled that Daniel Radcliffe is due to host Saturday Night Live any minute now.

The wait is almost over! To whet your whistles, here’s Danny with SNL castmember Jason Sudeikis.

Digital Spy: Sudeikis “later encourages Radcliffe to attempt an American accent, although brands Radcliffe’s choice of phrase—”What up, dude, give me some hamburgers and pizza!”—as stereotypical.”

Hee hee. I feel like a lot of folks from the UK have an American go-to voice that is very Texas/Arkansas/Mississippi?!, and it always makes me a little paranoid, because I feel that we mostly do not sound like that. Do people think we sound like this? (Emma Thompson once described the East Coast accent as “chewy,” and I about fainted.)

In other news, Zooey Deschanel is scheduled to host the show’s February 11 episode, the Huffington Post reports.

This means that Abby Elliott will inevitably appear onscreen in a brown wig, strumming a ukulele plaintively, and then Zooey will arrive in a leather jacket, smoking a cigarette and being all disaffected, and she will snarl and tell Abby to take a hike, and that will be when the audience is supposed to laugh.

Watch This: What Are Zooey and Joe Doing New Year’s, New Yeeeeaaar’s Eve?

I shouldn’t say this—I shouldn’t!—but in my everyday life, I make constant, consistent jokes at Zooey Deschanel‘s expense.

I don’t know! Recently I tripped over a toy piano and crashed into a tower of yet-unfiled CDs, and I joked I was the “Zooey of Dick Van Dykes.”

Maybe I joke about her because I was a huge Matt Ward fan back in college and now I feel wistful about She and Him. Maybe it’s because I am a natural blonde with dark-dyed hair who dreams of playing the uke and having great bangs. Maybe it’s because I really do play a lap zither and not-on-purpose talk out the corner of my mouth. Maybe it’s because I’m sort of infantilized (not in the adult-diaper way, jerks), you know, just generally and unattractively helpless when it comes to changing lightbulbs on high ceilings. This sort of thing is not totally adorable unless you are a famous actress and singer, unfortunately.

I also know that if I ever say to my friend Robyn “You’re like a Zooey!” she’ll start yelling in public angrily. Especially if I specify, “Your singing sounds a little like the Zooey cotton commercial.” Oooh, poor Robyn. She hates when I say things like that, but for real, Robyn has great dyed-dark bangs.

Yeah, OK, I know we love Zooey around here, but it’s still a lot of fun to make up Zooey Zingers, particularly when I am sitting anywhere near my friend Robyn. But why am I so mean? Why, when Zooey played one of my favorite characters in one of my favorite movies?

Anyway, this time I can’t crack wise about Zooey at all. It’s very frustrating. Here she is with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and they make beautiful music together. Seriously.

I mean, I want to be cruelly dismissive and apathetic; I really do want to act like quirky, winning charm has zero effect on my stone heart. It’s all lies. You’ll love this.

25 Adorable, Lovable, Precious Things You Didn’t Know About Zooey Deschanel

A photo of Zooey Deschanel

Zooey Deschanel can’t do anything wrong. There, I said it. I would listen to her beautiful music and look at her beautiful face for days. Also, have you been watching New Girl? I rest my case.

For those of you who love Zooey as much as I do, here are 25 facts that will probably make you love her even more:

1. I accidentally entered a beauty pageant.

2. I hate camping, but I love summer camp.

3. I took three years off from acting and toured with my band, She & Him.

4. I used to dress up like a princess to do my homework.

5. I have had brown hair and bangs since I was 2. One year I dyed it blonde, which felt so weird.

6. I drove my mom’s old Volvo until just a few years ago.

7. I had a party at the American Girl store — recently.

8. I love coffee. I mean, I really love coffee.

9. I am always early to work but sometimes late to other things.

10. I started a comedy website for females, with my friends Sophia and Molly [Editor's Note: we know her], called HelloGiggles.

11. I know This is Spinal Tap by heart.

12. I am really competitive at board games.

13. I talk to my mom every day.

14. I love work more than vacations.

15. I love pictures of people’s dogs.

16. I am pretty crafty. I like to bake.

17. I hate papaya.

18. I use scrunchies. Don’t judge.

19. I love pajamas.

20. I am a true blue music nerd.

21. I love cereal.

22.Pastoralia by George Saunders is one of my favorite novels.

23. I have bows painted on my toenails.

24. I took six years of tap-dancing lessons.

25. My first acting job was as Little Red Riding Hood.

Did it work? You love her more now, right? Oh, I’m so glad! Now excuse me while I dress up like a princess to do my homework.

A She & Him Christmas Album?!

I know, I squealed too! Because we all love She & Him, right? How could you not? It’s a band made up of the constantly adorable Zooey Deschanel and the always impressive M. Ward, and if that doesn’t do anything for you, then listen to that little track above. If you’re still unmoved, then check out the album’s tracklist:

01 “The Christmas Waltz”
02 “Christmas Day”
03 “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas”
04 “I’ll Be Home For Christmas”
05 “Christmas Wish”
06 “Sleigh Ride”
07 “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree”
08 “Silver Bells”
09 “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”
10 “Blue Christmas”
11 “Little Saint Nick”
12 “The Christmas Song”

Are you weeping with joy yet at this inevitably glorious album? If not, then check your pulse, because I don’t know what else could be wrong with you besides death.

Love It or Leave It: Zooey Deschanel Is Too Pretty for This

A photo of Zooey Deschanel

Sometimes, or, well, a lot of times, celebrities will put something on their bodies (clothes, not semen), and my only reaction is “why?” There’s this confused, lost little lamb look that goes along with it, and if it’s really bad, a genuine pouty face, but that’s the gist. And that whole sequence is exactly what took place when I saw this picture of Zooey Deschanel at the Our Idiot Brother premiere.

I love Zooey Deschanel. Love, love, love her. I love her music, I think she’s insanely gorgeous, I simply adore her. But this dress? It’s not right. I’m sorry, but it’s not. I think Zooey’s the kind of pretty girl who should just stick with ultra simple clothing items, you know, like nice jeans or potato sacks, because all these frills and possibly homicidal neck ruffles just take away from that magical natural beauty, right?