Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Zooey Deschanel

But A Few People Looked OK at The Billboard Music Awards

A photo of Taylor Swift

Like Taylor Swift here. Taylor Swift looked ok at the Billboard Music Awards. In fact, I’d wager that she had the best look of the night, generally speaking. I really like her dress, and it obviously looks great on her.

Another lady who had a good look was Brandy, but to be honest, I can’t decide if I actually like her dress or if I just think she looks nice because I’ve always been envious of hair like that. Regardless, gold shoes!

A photo of Brandy

Next up is Jordin Sparks, who I’ve always thought was completely adorable, wearing a lovely little dress. This one is remarkable because it’s one of the only dresses I’ve ever seen on a red carpet that I would actually like to wear in real life:

A photo of Jordin Sparks

Then there’s one of our favorite ladies, Zooey Deschanel, going after my own heart in a sparkly dress and black tights:

A photo of Zooey Deschanel

But then we have my personal favorite dress, worn by the very fabulous Carrie Underwood:

A photo of Carrie Underwood

But which one was your favorite?

Love It or Leave It: Zooey Deschanel’s Showing Some … Cleavage?

photo of zooey dechanel pictures photos
Guys, I’ve spent so much time mooning over the adorable and sweet Zooey Deschanel that I don’t even know if it’s appropriate to say her name and the word “cleavage” in the same sentence! I mean, it makes me feel like I’m hitting on a baby kitten or something equally lecherous like peeping my hot third cousin from Texas in the shower or something (not that I’ve ever, you know, done either or anything).

This is Zooey at the recent red carpet event for Fox Network’s Upfront Presentation, where other celebrities like Lea Michele, Britney Spears, Demi Lovato, and others appeared for the Fox Network series showcase. From all of the pictures I saw, too, Zooey was the one showing the most, ahem, decolletage.

I don’t know, friends. I love Zooey and I think she’s so refreshingly, wholesome-ly beautiful, but I guess when I really get down to thinking about it, she’s always been kind of androgynous to me in a way. I could never see her as a sex kitten—at least outside of the bedroom, hey hey—and I’m not quite sure I’m all that comfortable with her showing so much skin. It’s just … so not Zooey, you know? Thoughts?

Zooey Deschanel is Going to Broadway

photo of zooey deschanel and loretta lynn pictures
… To play Loretta Lynn!

From People:

Cast by the country icon herself, Zooey Deschanel will play Loretta Lynn in an upcoming stage musical about the singer’s life, Coal Miner’s Daughter, producers for the Broadway-bound production have announced.

Lynn personally introduced Deschanel Thursday night on the stage of Nashville’s historic Ryman Auditorium during Opry Country Classics. The two then sang “Coal Miner’s Daughter.”

Though no opening date has been announced – it will not conflict with Deschanel’s commitments to her Fox series New Girl, according to the producers – “I’m going to be right there in the front row,” says Lynn. “And I know Zooey is going to be great – she sings and writes her own songs just like I do, and we even have the same color eyes!”

Deschanel, 32 (and a musician in her own right as both a solo artist and as one half of the band She & Him with M. Ward), said, “Loretta Lynn and her music have been inspirations for me for as long as I can remember. She is a true legend and to be chosen to play such an iconic woman is a dream come true.”

Well, I think I quite like this. I love me some Zooey, and Loretta Lynn, now, come on! Only thing that might make all of this better is if it were a movie, and not on Broadway. I never get to New York City anymore, and unless Zooey’s going to become a part of a traveling troupe and touring all over the country, I probably won’t ever see this, and that makes me sad.

Love It or Leave It: Zooey Deschanel’s Indisputable Cuteness

photo of zooey deschanel pictures photos fashion pic
Boy, what a stupid question, right? “Love It or Leave It” with Zooey Deschanel as the subject of discussion? It’s like, “Duh.” Of course you love it. There is no “leave it” when it comes to this lady (unless, of course, she’s wearing something that looks like this, and then, for sure, it’s a “leave it”), because that’d be akin to kicking a puppy or shaving a cat’s ass and training it to walk backwards. It’d just be all sorts of weird and demented and wrong (… and kind of funny).

This is our girl Zooey at a New Girl event, which I’m ashamed to say I still haven’t watched yet. I know it’s doing pretty well, and people seem to be enjoying it … but hey. I should at least brush up a little on my current Zooey events, especially if I’m going to be loving on her so hard.

See, the thing with me is that I don’t generally get into something until it’s officially no longer a new thing. And not for any particular reason, really. Prime example: The Big Bang Theory? Oh my God I love that show. Here’s the nuts part though—I literally didn’t start watching it until three weeks ago, and it’s all because of the grand invention of DV-R that I’ve been able to subject myself to the obligatory Three Episode Rule (i.e., if I can watch three episodes and I’m still interested by the time the fourth rolls around, it’s a keeper). And, what, that show’s been on for how many years now? I’m totally not in the know about these things.

Are you guys watching The New Girl? Is it OK? Moreover, are you watching The Big Bang Theory? And are you as excited about it as I am? Because guys, I’m really, really excited. Friday nights in my house have officially become “Watch all of The Big Bang Theory episodes that we’ve recorded throughout the week in succession while eating copious amounts of takeout Chinese food” nights, and honestly, it doesn’t get much better than that.

Stars Without Makeup: Zooey Deschanel

photo of zooey deschanel no makeup pictures photos
I know. Isn’t she just darling? Too bad she’s too busy to date. Remember this quip from Marie Claire?:

“Honestly, I’m just going through a divorce, so I don’t really think that’s something I want to get into now. I don’t have time to date. I literally – don’t-have-time.”

OK, we get it, Zooey. It’s understandable that you’re just not ready for the dating scene yet, but may we recommend a few guys that we think you’d be pretty hot with? Let’s start off with the obligatory, OK? We all know it’s coming.

1-Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Because come on. One good hipster turn deserves another, am I right or am I right (hint: I’m right).

2-John Cusack. Please don’t ask me why, because I really just do not know. I like John Cusack, and yeah, though he’s getting “up there” in age, I’d still totally bang him. Plus, he’s kind of experiencing a career revival with his new ‘Raven‘ project and anyway, he was, like, the ultimate hipster in the eighties. He was mad cool before anyone knew what mad cool is, and vintage is in, now, isn’t it?

3-Ryan Gosling. Because him dating anyone is way better than dating Eva Mendes. Gross. Plus, could you just imagine the kind of kids those two would produce? They could be the next-generation Brad and Angelina.

And here’re are few guys that you definitely do not—I repeat, “do not,” and I mean that under any circumstances—want to date:

1-James Franco. Am I one of the only ones who thinks this guy is a complete tool kit? A douchenozzle? A twat of the supreme order? Because he is. And I just couldn’t fathom this letch having his slimy little hands all over our adorable Zooey. No way, no how.

2-Chris Brown. I know that girlfriend here would never even consider it, but I just had to put it out there because he’s another huge douche. Huge douche.

3-Michael Lohan. Just because we’re being completely ridiculous, now. Plus, Zooey doesn’t really strike me as the type to want to catch a swift kick in the cooter.

Who would you see Zooey pair up with? And also, isn’t she just positively charming and refreshing without her face on? LOVE THIS GIRL.

Zooey Deschanel is Still Dazzling

photo of zooey deschanel pictures photos
Oh Zooey, how I love thee!

Girlfriend sat down and did an interview with Marie Claire, where she talked about dating (she’s not), interviews (she’s bad at them), and on being bullied (she was picked on for being a “chubby” girl). From Marie Claire:

“I don’t do well with direct questions,” she admits. Deschanel tends to think out loud, talking in rough drafts, starting a sentence, then stopping, then starting another one, crumpling that one up, too. “I’m a person who gets better with practice,” she says. “Getting older is awesome — because you get more practice.”

On television acting versus film acting:

“It’s harder to do normal things,” she says. No longer can she run blithely into Ralph’s for a head of lettuce or some paper towels. “I think that if you haven’t been to the grocery store in a really long time, it’s really easy to get very out of touch,” she says.

On how unique she is:

“People do think I’m weird,” she says. “I don’t know why.”

On her career:

“I always knew there was nothing else I wanted to do,” she says. “I wanted to sing, perform, act.”

On being bullied:

At 12 she was “chubby,” which made her a target of bullies. “I was ridiculed. I still have in me the same awareness when I was 12 and chubby and a girl was spitting in my face. I’m the same person. Certainly you change, and you change perspective, you have other experiences. But isn’t it funny – I can still remember when I was treated differently from the way I’m treated now…I really don’t know why she spit at me. I just talked to her. I guess I wasn’t allowed to talk to her. I remember I couldn’t believe it.” The moment was searing, scarring, but ultimately transformative. It inspired Deschanel to reimagine herself, and over the next year, she carefully, painstakingly recast her persona, becoming more open, more empathic, less “stubborn.” She also shed 30 pounds. “All of a sudden,” she says, “everybody treated me differently.”

On not wanting children:

“That’s never been my focus… My sister [Emily] was always very motherly, babysitting and stuff. I like kids, and I like being around kids – but it was never an ambition, something, like, I need…I like working. That’s what I like doing. I like to work.”

On whether she’s dating:

“Honestly, I’m just going through a divorce, so I don’t really think that’s something I want to get into now. I don’t have time to date. I literally – don’t-have-time.”

Do we love her more yet? Do we?

Love It or Leave It: Zooey Deschanel’s Plaid Mess

photo of zooey deschanel pictures writers guild awards pics photos
Don’t get me wrong – I love Zooey, and it’s not because some of you think I have to love her, being that I write for her website, Hello Giggles, as well, you’re wrong. I adore Zooey because I think she’s cute and quirky and relatable, and I think there are two groups of people when it comes to loving Zooey – those who do, and those who, well … don’t. I’m among the ones who do, but this dress? Oh dear Lord. Don’t even get me started.

See, I’m a big fan of plaid, despite the fact that everyone in my inner circle of family and friends absolutely abhor it. I like plaid shirts, plaid shorts, plaid skirts … plaid pajama pants, plaid socks, plaid panties … whatever. I love plaid and I’m unashamed to admit it. But this particular plaid? In this particular form? Is bad. Bad, bad, bad. It reminds me of a lightweight spring nightie, and while that’d normally be OK, it’s definitely not something you wear to an awards ceremony. Or at least, I wouldn’t, despite my love of plaid. Girlfriend’s hair and makeup are, as always, on par, but this dress is better left to those who’d wear it to bed instead. You know. Someone like me.

Hook a sister up, Zooey, and send me your cast-offs. I promise not to get egg yolk on it whilst eating breakfast in bed.