Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Violet Affleck

Is Violet Affleck My Spirit Animal?

Photo of Violet Affleck at the Librabry With Her Mom

So I’m pretty obsessed with these photos of Violet Affleck leaving the Santa Monica library with her famous mom yesterday because this little gremlin reminds me of someone very special: Me.

The glasses, the whole “sticking library books in her mouth” thing, the spastic arm and leg movements mid-walk. Yeah, all of that looks very familiar to this lady over here and honestly, God bless her. She’s probably going to grow up to be a wonderful woman.

But all of that self-centered shit aside, doesn’t she remind you of one of Amy Poehler’s best SNL characters ever? Jennifer Garner is totally the best mom in the world.

Crazed Jennifer Garner Fan Charged With Stalking

Jennifer Garner and Violet Affleck

I guess technically I don’t know if he’s “crazed” like the headline reads, but the man who was charged for stalking Jennifer Garner is definitely creepy looking. And stalking generally isn’t sane behavior, so I would think that it’s fair to call him crazed. I don’t want to get sued or something. He’s probably a fine guy who just happens to loiter outside of the elementary school that his favorite celebrity’s child attends. Whatever, no judgement.

From TMZ:

The L.A. District Attorney has charged Steven Burky with two counts of felony stalking and two misdemeanor counts of disobeying a court order — for allegedly breaking a restraining order the couple filed against him last year.

Garner has claimed in court documents that Burky has been stalking her since 2002. She was granted the restraining order last year after Burky sent her “packages and letters containing delusional and paranoid thoughts.”

Now, if convicted on stalking charges, Burky — who’s currently in police custody — could face up to four years in prison.

Four years seems like an awfully short period of time to spend in prison for breaking a restraining order and potentially putting the life of a child (a beautiful celebrity child, right guys!?!) in danger. Let’s hope this whackjob gets some heeee-eeelllllp.

I’m Your Biggest Fan, I’ll Follow You Until You Love Me!

Violet Affleck Takes Photos of the Paparazzi with Pink Camera

Violet Affleck and her pretty pink camera play a little game of “paparazzi” with the paparazzi while she and mom Jen Garner run errands in Santa Monica. This is really one ridiculously photogenic little girl. She’s going to end up in movies, just you watch. They won’t be able to stop her. This kid loooves the cameras.