10Tori Spelling is Skinny, Paranoid, and Now Communicating With the Dead

Right from the horse’s mouth (no [laughs] pun intended), Tori Spelling confirms that she’s nuttier than squirrel poo.

Spelling states that she recently visited with famed dead-person contacter John Edward to see if there was a way for her to contact her deceased father, Aaron Spelling. However, instead of meeting up with good old dad, Tori claims that another person “came through” instead: Farrah Fawcett, who, if you remember, died on Michael Jackson’s death day almost a year ago (um, and can you believe it’s almost been a year?).

Tori states that Fawcett left various messages for Spelling to carry back to her family (namely, Ryan O’Neal) and advised her to let them know that she was “happy” and “at peace.”

According to Spelling:

“She wanted me to give a message to her family about how she was doing and what was going on and I’m like, ‘Great! She really picked the wrong person,’” Tori laughed. “Non-confrontational me, what am I gonna do?” Tori continued. “So I’m sitting on that information — I’m happy to say it’s not in the book because it happened afterwards.”

Though Tori claims that she’s non-confrontational — and really, who the hell are we talking about, here, non-confrontational Donna Martin, or mama-fighting Tori Spelling? — she obliged Farrah’s request and took a letter to the dead star’s family:

“I actually wrote a letter to Ryan O’Neal and gave it to him so I was like, he’s either going to think I’m completely crazy or he’s going to say, ‘Wow! Some of this makes sense,’ because she gave very specific details of things to tell them,” she explained. “I did and I included that in the note to Ryan saying, ‘Please pass this on to Redmond… She really wanted him to know these things,’” Tori explained. “I haven’t heard from Ryan so I don’t know, you know, I’m hoping you know he understood what I was trying to say and doesn’t think I’m some loony.”

Oh, damn, that’s rich. Ryan O’Neal thinking that Tori Spelling’s a loony. Not only is that the pot calling the kettle black, but it’s almost too bizarre a concept to even wrap your brain around. That’s like those patients in high-security penitentiaries thinking that they’re pure sanity and everyone else around them is crazy.

Oh, and on that note? Shutter Island? It sucked.

June 17, 2010 at 8:50 am by Sarah

36AUUGHHH!

It’s the Crypt-Keeper! … No, it’s Leslie Nielsen! No …

Fuck, it’s Tori Spelling!

Damn, girlfriend, eat a sandwich!

RadarOnline has secured one of the latest photos of the formerly-svelte 90210 star, Tori Spelling, out and about in LA recently with her daughter. Although plenty of rumors are in blowing in the wind that Spelling is suffering from an eating disorder, she laughs it off by saying that she’s finally “healthy.”

Eating disorders are no joke, man, and if Tori doesn’t pick up some good, old-fashioned greasy diner food soon, she’s not going to be around much longer for those precious babies of hers.

Check out poor Tori’s dwindling figure in the gallery below, and while you’re at it, eat a tub of butter for her, too.

Image courtesy of RadarOnline.com

April 9, 2010 at 8:12 am by Sarah

24Caption This!

Tori Spelling and her creepy husband Dean McDermott go helmetless (that’d be illegal in California, TorTor!) as they bike their munchkins around LA in some sort of newfangled baby Tupperware.

August 16, 2009 at 12:24 pm by Molls

13At this Point, I Could Use Tori Spelling to Dig Old Chicken out of My Teeth

Toothpick.

Tori and the family visited Coogie’s Beach Cafe this Sunday to grab a bite to eat, or in Tori’s case, to look at the food and occasionally smell it.

The family became irate and left the restaurant when a waitresses mistakenly attempted to use Tori to hold together a club sandwich.

July 19, 2009 at 2:26 pm by Kelly

20Quotables

“My daughter one day decided that she wasn’t speaking to my husband, myself and my son, and that’s how it’s continued for the last, oh gosh, four or five years. And it was sad, that’s what killed my husband, actually. He just didn’t want to live after that. He [had] just done everything he could possibly do for his daughter, and she wanted no part of him once he couldn’t do anything for her.”

Candy Spelling speaking to a Massachusetts radio station, relating the story of how her very boring daughter Tori is a murderer.

May 29, 2009 at 3:04 am by Wendie

35Why Are You People Watching Tori Spelling’s Show?

Tori Spelling is a phenomenon I just don’t understand. She bores me to tears. I find absolutely nothing compelling about her other than the unsolved mystery of how someone with so much money could get such a terrible boob job. I never write a story about her unless I absolutely have to. But most Tori stories go ignored around here unless Wendie picks ‘em up.

So I’m shocked to hear that Tuesday night’s season-four (four???) premiere of Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood drew 424,000 women 18-49, making it Oxygen’s most-watched opener among the demo in its nine-year history. In total, there were 763,000 people watching the show about Tori’s marriage and children, even if she did kill her father.

I ask this honestly: Why are people watching this show? Why is anyone remotely interested in the life of this woman and the husband she stole from another woman? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE? Identify and explain yourselves.

May 28, 2009 at 9:52 pm by Evil Beet