This post was going to be about Snooki and how her dumb orange ass was arrested for hitting a police car in Italy because she was too busy picking at her lesions or whatever, but after I wrote a paragraph about it, I decided that Tori Spelling doing absolutely nothing on a beach would be a better topic for today. And that, my friends? Is a fine example of just how important Nicole Polizzi is to me.
Anyway, as you can see, mom-to-be-again Tori Spelling hit the beach with her growing family, and I have to say: girlfriend looks GOOD when she’s expecting. I know it probably has a lot to do with hormones and what not, but her body just looks healthy now, not all dry and shrivelly.
In fact, I was so inspired by these Tori photos that I decided to suit up and head outside myself. It’s a gorgeous day, so I’m writing to you poolside. BE JEALOUS.
What are YOU guys doing on this fine, sunshiny day?
May 31, 2011 at 11:30 am by Sarah
So Tori Spelling, huh? In the news now, what, twice in a ten days? It’s gotta be some kind of record for girlfriend! Last week you saw photos of a healthy-looking Tori, and even some of you in the comments claimed that she was probably pregnant. Well guess what – ding ding ding! – you were right!
Tori and her husband Dean confirmed through Twitter last night that she is carrying child number three for the couple. It doesn’t come entirely as a surprise, as she’s been photographed wearing baggy dresses for some time now, and actually looks like she’s been drinking water (and what a difference it makes, right?), but congratulations to the family anyway. Even though their reality show sucks, they make cute kids, and come on: who DOESN’T love to look at adorable children?
April 12, 2011 at 7:30 am by Sarah
Well, thankfully, those days are gone: for the first time in probably years, Tori’s weight seems to have stabilized to the point of being considered ‘healthy,’ and not-at-all-suprisingly, she looks just fine.
I’ve always been a big fan of Tori Spelling AND her role in the original 90210, so I’m glad to see that Tori’s probably going to live to see another few years, if all that business with her cracked-out mother doesn’t kill her first. Because if Donna Martin can’t make it to a 90210 reunion in ten years or so, what the fuck is the point of even HAVING one, you know?
March 29, 2011 at 10:30 am by Sarah
One of the first things that any nutritionist or trainer or dietitian will tell you is that, in order to stay fit, you need to be drinking a ton of water. Staying hydrated and flushing out your system is the only thing that keeps you from holding on to that life-ruining sodium bloat. That’s why I’m so confused after learning that Tori Spelling doesn’t drink water. I remember Victoria Beckham saying something a few years ago about how she only drinks Diet Coke and never, ever water, but she also doesn’t claim that she’s eating-disorder free.
Tori, who has been concerning critics and fans alike with her rail-thin frame for years, recently told Access Hollywood, “I hate water! I’m never thirsty actually. I don’t drink water. I don’t sweat. Isn’t that weird?”
Yes, Tori. That’s very weird. In fact, I’m not even sure how you’re still alive.
Apparently when homegirl does get a case of the thirsties, she turns to a sip of her own homemade sparkling water and that’s only if she “has to.”
Look, I’ve been saying for years that it’s obvious there’s no God because if there was, he’d never make water taste so boring. Tori’s not wrong in that it isn’t necessarily the most tasty beverage, but it’s crucial.
So, seriously: How is it that she’s still alive? Are there other people out there who never drink water who are willing to explain their existence to me?
October 11, 2010 at 11:55 am by Molls
See what happens when you don’t drink your water, kiddies? You look like this. Or, um, like this. And in any case, I don’t think there’s one person who’d say that this is something that they aspire to be.
Tori Spelling, sometimes known as the Cryptkeeper in certain circles (OK, in my circles), speaks out to Access Hollywood and claims that she doesn’t drink water — she hates it — and because of that fact, she doesn’t sweat:
“I hate water! I’m never thirsty actually. I don’t drink water. [As a result,] I don’t sweat. Isn’t that weird?”
No, Tori-girl, what’s weird is that you’re still alive. But that’s, you know, debatable.
September 29, 2010 at 7:10 am by Sarah
And “everyone” includes Tori Spelling’s three-year-old son, Liam. He already has just short of 20,000 followers on his account, which started because he’s apparently a pretty funny kid and Tori wanted to document his wittiest statements (along with some photos). Here’s an example of some of Liam’s gems:
“My belly roars like a monster. It says MUST EAT LOLLIPOPS! Yum!”
“I love making jello castles. Jello wiggles and parties in my tummy”
“Oh no mama. We’ve got a problem… My butt is farting again”
“MOM WHO ARE YOU?” “Tori” “WHY YOU TORI?” “Cause that’s my name” “NOOO, YOU ARE A TORI SPELLING!”
When Tori told Liam that his Twitter was turning out to be kind of popular, she says he responded with “Yeah, I’m a cool dude.”
What do you guys think about this? While it definitely seems like little Liam is an adorable child, I’m a little bit like “Hey Tori, ever heard of a baby book?”