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Tori Spelling

9Quotables: Tori Spelling’s Emotional Abuse of Yesteryear

photo of tori spelling and nick savalas pictures

“I lacked such self-confidence that I constantly stood in my own way. … It was a nightmare. He [former boyfriend Nick Savalas] was never physically abusive, but he was verbally abusive, telling me 10 times a day how ugly I was. Although I don’t believe in regrets and think every moment makes us the women and moms we ultimately become. It would be nice to give this advice!”

So this Nick Savalas character (who happens to be Telly Savalas’—or Kojak’s—son)? Let’s forever brand him one of the biggest bags of dicks ever spoken about on Evil Beet, OK? Would it be alright to do that? Because while Tori Spelling has annoyed me for a myriad of other, completely unrelated reasons, no one deserves to be told that they’re ugly—especially by someone who professes to care about them in a romantic way.

God. People like this should be punched in the face. With a bag of rocks.

Incidentally, this is what Nick Savalas looks like today:

photo of nick savalas pictures
He’s not exactly a shining picture of facial perfection either, you know.

August 23, 2012 at 11:30 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Tori Spelling

2Why Yes, Tori Spelling IS Pregnant Again

photo of tori spelling pictures yo gabba gabba pregnant again pictures
Because guys! This is what she does! If it weren’t for near-death experiences because of dehydration and malnutrition, and the whole almost-constantly-pregnant thing, we’d probably forget about her altogether, wouldn’t we? Whee! From People:

Five months after giving birth, Tori Spelling has announced some big news: she’s expecting again.

“Dean, Liam, Stella, Hattie, and I are beyond thrilled to announce that another little McDermott is on the way,” she writes on her website in a blog post titled “Baby Makes 6!” “We feel truly blessed that another angel has found us. Love, Tori xoxo.”

Spelling, 38, welcomed her youngest daughter Hattie in Oct. 2011. She and husband Dean McDermott, 45, are also parents to son Liam, 5, and daughter Stella, 3.

Along with the message, Spelling posted a photo of her bare stomach, which her children are touching.

I mean, criminology (yeah, it said ‘criminy’ at first, but spell-check didn’t recognize it and I rather liked ‘criminology’, so we’re going to run with this one, OK?). We didn’t even announce that she had her last baby (which, as People said, was back in October of ’11) and here she goes getting knocked up again. Who the hell is she trying to out-do, Michelle Duggar? Yeah, we posted photos of her tits when her husband accidentally Tweeted a photo of them post-breastfeeding – and wasn’t that a hoot? – but I know it doesn’t count. We must have cut Tori, deep down inside, and this is her way of getting back at us. Forcing us to talk about her once more, because she didn’t get her time in the sun with her previous, third pregnancy.

It could be worse. We could be saying, “Why yes, Tori Spelling is reprising her role on 90210 as Donna Martin, who’s returned to the school two decades later to take care of that whole graduation thing,” or “Why yes, Tori Spelling is looking like the Crypt-Keeper again,” so I’m going to just go ahead, shut my mouth, and thank my lucky stars that there are people out there like Tori Spelling who are addicted to kids, instead of constantly having to write about those who are addicted to Restaylne injections, cocaine, and hitting people with their cars and driving off like it ain’t no thing.

Congratulations, Tori, and best wishes for another healthy pregnancy!

March 23, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Tori Spelling

7OMG! LOL!

photo of tweet tori spelling nude uncensored pictures boobs tits pic
OK, dammit, I want an explanation on this one. Full-blown explanation as to why (and how! LOL) Dean McDermott accidentally posted a photo of wife Tori Spelling‘s tits. My curiosity, however, stems from the fact that Tori’s laying around with her tits hanging out. In front of her, what, almost five year old kid?

I get it, I really do – she’s probably breastfeeding, and the kid got a boo-boo or something and walked in in the middle of a feed. OK. Way embarrassing, right? Especially since it’s not the most flattering (realistic, yes, thank God) photo, you know?

The Tweet has since been pulled, but once the shit hits the ‘net, there’s no taking it back.

Anyway, there’s no taking it back, so click through to see the uncensored photos of the Tori Tittie Tweet that should have never been!

(more…)

November 17, 2011 at 4:30 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Tori Spelling

1Tori Spelling Hits the Beach Hardcore

photo of tori spelling pregnant on beach baby bump pictures photos

This post was going to be about Snooki and how her dumb orange ass was arrested for hitting a police car in Italy because she was too busy picking at her lesions or whatever, but after I wrote a paragraph about it, I decided that Tori Spelling doing absolutely nothing on a beach would be a better topic for today. And that, my friends? Is a fine example of just how important Nicole Polizzi is to me.

Anyway, as you can see, mom-to-be-again Tori Spelling hit the beach with her growing family, and I have to say: girlfriend looks GOOD when she’s expecting. I know it probably has a lot to do with hormones and what not, but her body just looks healthy now, not all dry and shrivelly.

In fact, I was so inspired by these Tori photos that I decided to suit up and head outside myself. It’s a gorgeous day, so I’m writing to you poolside. BE JEALOUS.

What are YOU guys doing on this fine, sunshiny day?

May 31, 2011 at 11:30 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Tori Spelling

4Hey, Tori Spelling IS Pregnant

photo of tori spelling twitter account saying she's pregnant photos pictures

So Tori Spelling, huh? In the news now, what, twice in a ten days? It’s gotta be some kind of record for girlfriend! Last week you saw photos of a healthy-looking Tori, and even some of you in the comments claimed that she was probably pregnant. Well guess what – ding ding ding! – you were right!

Tori and her husband Dean confirmed through Twitter last night that she is carrying child number three for the couple. It doesn’t come entirely as a surprise, as she’s been photographed wearing baggy dresses for some time now, and actually looks like she’s been drinking water (and what a difference it makes, right?), but congratulations to the family anyway. Even though their reality show sucks, they make cute kids, and come on: who DOESN’T love to look at adorable children?

April 12, 2011 at 7:30 am by Sarah

3Tori Spelling is Officially Not Going to Die Right Now

photo of not scary tori spelling skinny pictures

Remember when Tori Spelling was, like, one of the scary-skinniest celebrities going, and you totally thought that she was going to die from her skinniness at any moment?

Well, thankfully, those days are gone: for the first time in probably years, Tori’s weight seems to have stabilized to the point of being considered ‘healthy,’ and not-at-all-suprisingly, she looks just fine.

I’ve always been a big fan of Tori Spelling AND her role in the original 90210, so I’m glad to see that Tori’s probably going to live to see another few years, if all that business with her cracked-out mother doesn’t kill her first. Because if Donna Martin can’t make it to a 90210 reunion in ten years or so, what the fuck is the point of even HAVING one, you know?

March 29, 2011 at 10:30 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Tori Spelling
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