Oh my gosh, it is taking all the willpower I have not to just type “LOLOLOLOLOLOL” and a link to this story about Tom Cruise. It actually might be the funniest thing I’ve ever read, but I can’t really give it a lot of thought, because I’m laughing too hard. Tom Cruise has special mind powers, you guys. This is very serious business.
From Us Weekly:
Tom Cruise may be a superstar in Hollywood, but in the Church of Scientology, he’s positively supernatural.
The 50-year-old Rock of Ages actor’s devotion to the controversial religion was one of the contributing factors in his just-settled divorce from Katie Holmes — who bitterly objected to parenting their 6-year-old daughter Suri under the unusual guidelines of Scientology.
Founded in 1954 by the late L. Ron Hubbard, Scientology (“the study of truth”) has 10 million followers worldwide in 159 countries, with more than 6,000 churches, missions and outreach groups, and with reportedly billions of dollars in holdings.
Cruise (with John Travolta landing a close second) is the most well-known followers of the faith — and, according to “Inside Scientology,” an in-depth Rolling Stone investigation from March 2006, the Oscar nominee is known as an “Operating Thetan,” or an “OT.”
Having practiced Scientology for 30 years, Cruise has traveled the so-called “Bridge to Total Freedom” to achieve, through intense “auditing” sessions and other practices, a rarefied sense of enlightenment.
Scientologists mark the path to the “Bridge” with ascending grades or stages, and, Janet Reitman’s Rolling Stone story reports, Cruise is at the very advanced “OT VII” stage. Operative Thetans, Reitman says, have “have total ‘control’ over themselves and their environment. OTs can allegedly move inanimate objects with their minds, leave their bodies at will and telepathically communicate with, and control the behavior of, both animals and human beings.”
The more advanced Cruise and other Operating Thetans become, Reitman reports, they reach a God-like state: “At the highest levels, they are allegedly liberated from the physical universe, to the point where they can psychically control what Scientologists call MEST: Matter, Energy, Space and Time.”
So if you ever see a tiny object floating high in the sky, don’t be alarmed, it’s probably just Tom taking his evening flight. Has your dog been acting a little strange? No big deal, he probably just had a thought provoking chat with ol’ Tommy! Have you ever been in L.A. or New York and witnessed an inanimate object move all on its own? Look behind you, fool, it’s a goofin’ Tom Cruise!
I am never going to stop laughing over this. OT for life, friends. OT for life.
July 11, 2012 at 9:30 am by Emily
Do you remember when Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman got divorced? I don’t, because I was too busy growing boobs and getting spitballs stuck in my hair on the bus, but I hear it was a pretty big deal. Apparently what happened was in 2001, Tom’s spokesperson announced their separation, and then two days later Tom filed for divorce. Nicole, meanwhile, was just like “what?” She was also three months pregnant when Tom filed, and she miscarried just a little bit after that. When Tom heard that news, he was (allegedly) pretty “whatever” about it. So basically it was a weird, awful situation all around, and everyone felt sorry for poor Nicole Kidman.
Nicole Kidman has allegedly been in touch with Tom Cruise’s soon-to-be third ex-wife Katie Holmes and has reportedly told her to “stay strong”.
Last week, the Aussie actress was reportedly “laying low” after news broke that Katie was filing for divorce after five years of marriage to the ‘Mission: Impossible’ star.
Now magazine have since reported that Nicole and Katie have been in touch, with Nicole offering her advice but the magazine also reports that she was not surprised by the split which has left Hollywood in shock.
“Nicole told her to stay strong,” a source told Now magazine. “She and Katie have only spoken a handful of times, but Nicole always secretly thought she was a lot stronger than she seemed.”
They also added: “She was convinced Katie would ‘snap’ one day. She was right.”
Nicole has two children with Tom, Isabella and Connor, and after a 10 year marriage to the actor, Nicole has moved on with new husband Keith Urban and have two children together.
Since that story was published, Nicole’s rep denied it, but I don’t really buy the denial. I want to believe that Nicole thinks it’s wonderful that Tom is finally getting what’s been coming to him for a while now, and the denial was issued because she wants to keep herself out of this Scientology shitstorm as much as possible.
Here’s hoping that Katie and Nicole become united in trashing Tom to the media, and that when Tom starts looking for love again, he goes for someone who was originally on the list with Katie Holmes: Lindsay Lohan. A girl can dream, right?
July 11, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily
Yeah, I know, blind items are supposed to be blind. But some of them are just so incredibly obvious that I think it’s ok to just skip right past the initial guessing games and get straight to business. And the business this time involves Tom Cruise and his wandering penis. Are you ready?
From Blind Gossip:
When the person who appears to have the power in a relationship backs down quickly in a dispute, you know that there have to be some compelling reasons why. Although all the talk up to this point has been about his involvement with a powerful group, there were actually three other reasons he settled so quickly.
Here are the three reasons: 1. His very personal relationship with a professional athlete. 2. His very personal relationship with a musician. 3. His very personal relationship with a famous actor.
She was ready and willing to expose all three relationships to get what she wanted. The scandal of having these three famous people deposed by attorneys about their sexual relationships would have destroyed all four men. So, he gave her the thing she wanted most so that his biggest secret could remain a secret.
See what I mean? That really can’t be anyone else besides Tom and Katie, right? So who are the other people.
It seems like the professional athlete is almost definitely David Beckham. Rumors about the two of them have been going around for a while, and, well, I think that one is sort of set in stone. But the singer I’m not so sure about.
There are rumors from all the way back in 2005 that Tom and Rob Thomas, lead singer of Matchbox 20, were caught in bed together by Rob’s wife. The story is that that’s why his relationship with Katie moved so fast, because Tom’s people had to hire him a girlfriend to take attention off of any possible rumors about Tom’s sexuality. The singer could also be Will Smith though, even though I’d consider him more of an actor these days.
So Will could be the actor, too. Or the actor could be John Travolta, even though that doesn’t seem right to me. But the most popular guess for the actor is Jeremy Renner, which makes me sad, because I was starting to really like him. There are definitely some rumors about Tom and Jeremy from the set of latest Mission Impossible, so I guess it would make sense.
Any other guesses?
July 10, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Emily
TMZ has learned, the divorce settlement between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes is extremely complicated, outlining things both Tom and Katie can and cannot do with Suri.
Here’s what we know.
– Katie will have what amounts to primary physical custody, but Tom has significant custodial time with his daughter.
– A report claiming that Suri must be in the presence of Katie’s bodyguard and nanny when she is around Tom is “absolutely, 100% false.”
– The custodial provisions of the agreement are extremely detailed, and religion is one of the topics. We’re told there are restrictions on what Tom and Katie can discuss with Suri on the subject of religion, including Scientology, however, those restrictions are eased the older Suri gets.
In short, we’re told the agreement is extremely detailed and outlines a course of conduct for years to come.
People has an article about the settlement too: it’s the same story, but they add a couple of details like “Tom thinks she [Suri] should be with her mother,” and that Katie and Suri will remain in New York, and Suri will be enrolled in a private school this fall.
I really hope that this agreement is as awesome as it sounds, and I think it’s good that there are restrictions on discussing religion with Suri, though I hope the settlement goes into more detail than just discussing religion. I’ve been doing some research on Scientology’s beliefs on children, and yeah, I don’t blame Katie for one minute for wanting out. In particular, I’ve been browsing this forum for ex-Scientologists, and it sounds like the kids have it pretty rough. Scientologists believe that children are old souls in little bodies, like actual mature beings capable of taking care of themselves, just in miniature form. That’s why Tom and Katie used to take Suri out at all hours of the night and let her eat penis candy, because she can think for herself and she doesn’t need to be treated any differently just because she’s little. I think that’s a pretty well-known belief, but I didn’t know the extent of it. There are stories where kids never had to go to school if they didn’t want to, and they could eat whatever they wanted, all the time, and they didn’t have to bathe. Parents just leave their young children alone while they go to work or wherever because hey, they can take care of themselves. I’m sure these are some of the more extreme stories, but still, what a bunch of crazies.
July 9, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Emily
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have SETTLED their divorce … this according to Katie’s lawyer.
Jonathan Wolfe tells TMZ, “This case has been settled and the agreement has been signed. We are thrilled for Katie and her family and are excited to watch as she embarks on the next chapter of her life.”
TMZ reported in the last few days lawyers for both sides were in a marathon negotiation — trying to end what began as a divorce war.
As we reported, one condition Tom had for settling was “meaningful, significant” contact with Suri.
Wolfe added, “We thank Tom’s counsel for their professionalism and diligence that helped bring about this speedy resolution.”
It was found earlier that Tom was willing to concede on the Katie-having-Suri indefinitely point, but wanted the aforementioned “significant” contact, and this new agreement came shortly after the estranged couple released a joint statement, which was … well, this:
“We are committed to working together as parents to accomplish what is in our daughter Suri’s best interests. We want to keep matters affecting our family private and express our respect for each other’s commitment to each of our respective beliefs and support each other’s roles as parents.”
“… Commitment to each of our respective beliefs …” Interesting, especially since Katie was supposedly all into Scientology during the marriage. Apparently not, though, huh?
My guess? Tom knew that Katie could potentially destroy him and his reputation (as if his reputation wasn’t as tarnished enough) and he gave in on pretty much anything with the caveat that Katie would keep her mouth shut. For our sake? I hope she doesn’t keep up her end of the bargain.
And yes. I know how bad that sounds. AND I DON’T CARE.
Here was the official post-settlement statement released by Katie’s camp, which is about three or four words short of COUCH-JUMPING JOY:
“The case has been settled and the agreement has been signed. We are thrilled for Katie and her family and are excited to watch as she embarks on the next chapter of her life. This result could not have been achieved without the hard work of my partner Gary Skoloff and our co-counsel Allan Mayefsky, Michael Mosberg and Larry Trachtenberg of Aronson Mayefsky and Sloan and Peter Walzer and Chris Melcher of Walzer & Melcher in California. We thank Tom’s counsel for their professionalism and diligence that helped bring about this speedy resolution.”
I have a feeling this isn’t the last of news on Katie and Tom (at least I hope not, anyway).
More to come?
July 9, 2012 at 11:30 am by Sarah
Ever since we heard about Katie Holmes filing for divorce from Tom Cruise, we’ve known that one of the most important things to Katie is that she gets sole custody of Suri. She requested sole legal custody and primary residential custody, which I’m guessing means that Suri can sleep over at Tom’s house sometimes, but only if he promises not to sell her to Scientology. But then we heard that Katie and Tom were working on a settlement, which I thought sort of derailed all the “Katie Holmes means business” theories that we had. I was pretty worried that Katie was going soft and that she wasn’t going to fight as hard for what she wanted.
I’m not sure where Katie’s at right now, but it does look like Tom is trying to play nice, as long as he gets Suri:
Tom Cruise has made one thing VERY clear — Suri is the deal-maker and the deal-breaker in his divorce with Katie Holmes … this according to sources very familiar with the situation.
As we first reported, lawyers for both sides are trying to pound out a settlement. We’re told Tom has insisted that the settlement provide “meaningful, significant contact with his daughter.” As one source put it, “She is the primary concern in his life.”
Sources connected with Katie tell us they have made it clear that Tom will be able to spend time with his daughter when he finishes his movie shoot in the Rockies.
Lawyers for both sides have been meeting for hours a day. Sources say they even met for a full business day on Saturday. And, we’re told, they are not just trying to hash out a temporary truce — these are settlement negotiations for the entire divorce.
Sources say both sides are negotiating custody, visitation, support and property settlement.
One caution — we’re told the negotiations are still “in flux” and it’s possible things could fall apart. But for now, no one is rushing to court.
I really hope all those hours of negotiations are all about Katie refusing to back down. According to Us Weekly, that’s exactly what’s happening:
“She is dead set on keeping custody of Suri,” a Holmes source tells Us Weekly. The Romantics actress — whose future projects include the new film Molly (which she wrote) and a Holmes and Yang runway debut at New York Fashion Week this fall — filed for divorce from Cruise, 50, June 28, and asked for sole legal custody of daughter Suri, 6.
“Katie is not going to compromise on certain issues, all regarding Suri,” the source says.
During their nearly six-year marriage, Holmes became increasingly uncomfortable with the bizarre rules and restrictions of Scientology — particularly with respect with how to raise and educate her only child with Cruise.
“This is about protecting her daughter,” another source explained to Us.
Get ‘em, Katie!