“No wife is blind enough to miss that much infidelity. Elin had 2 b a willing participant on the ride 4 whatever reason. kids/lifestyle ;^)”

- Jim Carrey chimes in on the Tiger scandal via Twitter.

So let me get this straight: Because of the sheer number of women that he slept with, there’s no way that an athlete who travels for much of the year and has plenty of money to make his problems disappear could have managed to hide his affairs from his wife? I gotta go ahead and say that that’s a pretty dick sentiment, Jim Carrey.

People have been throwing out the idea that Elin and Tiger had some sort of “arrangement” where he could sleep around since the scandal broke, but I’m not sure I’ve ever bought that. On the other hand, it would add a pretty twisted element to this whole scandal if it turned out that Elin didn’t care about the affairs and was acting mad to play the part. That might explain why she’s been so forgiving of her husband. But realistically? That woman was probably just as shocked by his manipulation as the rest of us.

Ever since that horribly creepy Tiger Woods Nike ad came out last week, the ‘nets have been flooded with spoofs, knock-offs and parodies. Needless to say, nothing will every quite top the unintentional hilarity of the original version (maybe “hilarity” is the wrong word, as it mostly elicits nervous laughter, but you know…) but this FunnyOrDie vid actually made me chuckle. I won’t give away the punchline, but trust me when I say that what “Tiger” says he’s learned from this whole scandal is funny ’cause it’s true.

Also, “What up daddy zombie voice?” is totally going to be my new outgoing message on my voicemail.

The execs at Nike thought that it’d be a good commercial concept to channel Tiger’s dead father. Tiger’s dad, who passed away in 2006, was resurrected via Hollywood magic in order to give the fallen golf-star a stern talking-to regarding his multiple indiscretions.

What do you guys think, pretty artistic or just … kinda creepy?

It’s streaming in the video above. His big press conference starts live at 11 am EST … that’s in ten minutes. IS EVERYONE SO EXCITED???

Just when we thought the shitshow of Tiger Woods’ personal life was over, yet another mistress comes forward — making this his 15th.

The woman goes by the name of “Devon James” (James seems to be a popular name in the adult entertainment industry, for some reason) and she’s an “entertainer” out of Florida. She allegedly rode Tiger’s stallion from 2006 to 2008 and participated in some of Tiger’s more, ah, girl-on-girl requests. She also claims that she was the golf guru’s first “sext.” James claims that Tiger would text her incessantly, inquiring if she’d be his whore.

As for why the woman didn’t emerge sooner? Well, she claims that it was because she kind of felt bad for the little boy who’d been punished and socially castrated in the beginning and hardly wanted to add fuel to the fire, but methinks it probably had more to do with being involved with another sex-addicted pseudo-celebrity and less with plain good will. I mean, come on … she seems like a busy lady, right? Handling all these affairs can be a time-consuming thing, don’t you know.

Well, well, Tiger. Fifteen, huh? Elin was reportedly bear-in-a-cave pissed that Joslyn James released those graphic text messages, I can’t imagine what she’s going to think now, what with fifteen on the plate.  Fuck, to be honest, I was kind of hoping for three more and then he could have one for every hole on the green.  No pun intended.

You can check out photos of Devon James in the gallery below, but I warn you … she kind of resembles Snooki in some of them and that was an image that even I had to scour my brain with steel wool in order to rid it.

Tiger Woods broke his media silence today in what turned out to be a surprisingly thorough interview with the Golf Channel (watch it in its entirety here). I was ready for a fluff piece focusing mainly on his golf performance, but the journalist who interviewed him actually asked some difficult questions. Tiger didn’t answer them all, but you can’t make someone talk if they don’t want to, and Tiger is definitely staying tight-lipped about exactly what happened that night when he plowed his car into a tree.

On other topics, however, he was very forthcoming, talking about his motivations, his experiences in treatment, and his plans for the future. I have a fairly sensitive bullshit meter and he wasn’t setting it off (until they asked him what really happened that night.) He seems genuinely sorry about what he did, and maybe even a little self loathing– which is good to see when someone as famous as him screws up as badly as he did; it indicates introspection.

I’ve got no recommendations for Elin. I don’t see how a marriage can come back from such a thorough and public betrayal of trust, but thankfully, I’m not married to Tiger Woods and don’t have to make that kind of a decision. As an outside observer however, I think I’m willing to let bygones be bygones. He’s no longer an asshole in my book– he’s just a guy who screwed up, spectacularly and thoroughly. I can’t say with certainty whether or not he’ll be able to come back from this incident, professionally or personally, but I can say with certainty that this will be the last time I’ll ever write anything about his infidelity.